Whats the proper Dj response?

[OamImrsNemo]

So I spent the night at chicks house sunday night. She said it was going to be a long week and we both have very different schedules and how she was going to miss me. So I said alright well we could get together fri night. she said yay sounds good to me. So last night I was drinking at a buddies house and he said he was having a get together fri night. So I said alright called chick up and told her what we were doin fri night. Then she tells me she made plans with one of her friends and doesnt know if she will be able to hang out with me fri night. So now Im irritated after we had already made plans. So I tell her okay. Well gotta go bye and hang up. So now heres how i see it possibly playing out with 2 scenarios and maybe both are wrong but heres my take and all you dj's out there fix if I am wrong.


Scenario #1.
Her: I miss you
Me: haha
Her:whats so funny?
Me:the bs your tellin me
Her: what bs?!
Me: if you missed me you wouldnt have made other plans on a night we already had plans. Starting work ill talk to you later.

Or

Scenario #2
(fri night)
Her: hey
Me: hey
Her: still want me to come over to the party?
Me: naw its cool you can hang with your friends
Her: well there gone now
Me: I dont know if they want any more people here theres already alot and I told them you wernt coming.
Her: okay


Those are just some Ideas I see happening how I should deal with this problem. Are those good? which one should I do? or should I take a different approach? thanks!

 

[Ease]

definitly the second.

scenario 2 is perfect, do it.

 

[OamImrsNemo]

Scenario 2...Any other opinions anyone?

 

[Crow]

scenario 1 makes you look desparate. I say you tell her that your ex called you and wants to get together for a booty call, but that the idea of sex for just sex doesnt make you feel sexy so you might pass, but that sex is still sex so you might do it and you're not decided yet.

 

[jdbman11]

ok so,

you sound bitter in both of those 'scenarios'. Making it sound like her changing her plans with you really made you upset and effected your self esteem. Drop that. You have a million other things to do and truely if she can't make it to the party it's her loss. So go about your party with your friends and focus on some other plates. And if she shows up to the party, great. If not, great. Try not to focus too much on the words that you'll say, focus more on your state of mind.

 

[OamImrsNemo]

So dont bring it up and just let it be and it will work its way is what your saying? My question is that arnt I supposed to show self worth and when she does something to me Which I am worth alot I am on the pedestal and I dont bring it up doesnt that make me look weak and that I dont value myself?

 

[jdbman11]

Bringing up something of the passed in a bad manner shows you have been thinking about it, it effected your self esteem, and you don't have better things to do. If you do bring it up, keep it C&F. Don't let her know it really effected you. You can show self value by going through with the plans you made regardless of what she does. And in the process meeting and spinning new plates.

 

[OamImrsNemo]

Okay I think I get what your saying. Thanks!

 

[vitor]

How about you just ignore her phone call friday, call her saturday and say sorry I missed your call the music was real loud. On top of that since she cancelled on you don't call her again, and don't go out with her till she ask you out...

 

[OamImrsNemo]

so one more thing...When she says I miss you or I havent seen you in forever or some sort of connotation like that. What should my response be then? Since this was the time we were supposed to hang out? should I just ignore the comment?

 

[jdbman11]

so one more thing...When she says I miss you or I havent seen you in forever or some sort of connotation like that. What should my response be then? Since this was the time we were supposed to hang out? should I just ignore the comment?

Again try and focus more on the State of Mind.

off the top of my head,

her: i miss you
you: i know

her: i haven't seen you in forever
you: tough isn't it

her: We have to hang out soon
you: we'll see

Just throwing out idea's to get your game going

 

[jophil28]

So I spent the night at chicks house sunday night. She said it was going to be a long week and we both have very different schedules and how she was going to miss me.

.."..a long week(until I see you again) , and we have different schedules....going to miss you ."

This is easy to intepret as her saying that she will be really busy all week but will be thinking of you during her busy work schedule. So you naively suggested a get together Friday night and assumed that she will jump at that offer.
Then she tells you that she has agreed to go out "with friends" instead of waiting until she heard from you. She already knew that you planned to see her but chose her friends ahead of you..

There is no way to know exactly what is going on here, BUT remember this - her choices tell you about her preferences.

The greatest truth is in a woman's behavior.

 

[OamImrsNemo]

So Jophil you saying she is putting me low on the totem pole picking her friends over me then what should I do to put more value on my self? or what should I do with this situation? Or should I just eject her and move on? ( I am getting laid quite a bit) So maybe some ideas on how to make me look more important

 

[drak_ool]

( I am getting laid quite a bit) So maybe some ideas on how to make me look more important

Notice the contradiction here? if you are in fact getting laid that often, that means you have other girls on the back burner. That means when one girl blows you off, you have one or more other girls to fall back on.

But in your case, you seem so obsessed over this one chick, that it s hard to believe you are really bagging so many other girls.

In fact, that would have been my advice until I saw your last post: diversify. the more choices you have, the less you will care about any single one of them. Then you won t be on sosuave, posting about girls canceling dates and what not.

 

[OamImrsNemo]

I think I understand. Thanks guys.

 

[jophil28]

So Jophil you saying she is putting me low on the totem pole picking her friends over me then what should I do to put more value on my self? or what should I do with this situation? Or should I just eject her and move on? ( I am getting laid quite a bit) So maybe some ideas on how to make me look more important

She has friends, as you do,and she is generally entitled to make plans with them, however, I understand that you did say that you planned to see her FRiday night and she seemed to agree to that.
Right ?
Then she made alternative plans for Frday night with her friends without talking to you .
IF I were in your position I would consider that my offer to "do something together " Friday night was a pencilled in 'date' and I would also believe that her response was her agreement.

IT's true that there is a high chance of crossed wires and miscommunication with a new woman in the first few weeks so I would give her another chance only IF she contacts you and initiates a convo in which she suggests an outing. If she does not contact you, read that as low interest and lose her number.

The general rule here is to only pursue a woman who is showing strong signs of wanting to have you in her life. Do not waste your time with game players, iffy chicks, flakes or 'maybe' women.