Whats the point of messaging me now?

[Leaf]

I mentioned a chick a while back who was super hot then went cold because I didn't take my chance. My mate who was good with chicks encouraged me to ask her out. I did, she got back to me then flaked i.e. never replied when we decided to make more concrete plans.

So obviously I've moved on. I'm not one to not have female interests so no biggie nor any hard feelings. Thing is I'm going on a good groove and then she starts leaving comments on my social media and this morning replied being all apologetic how she doesn't know how she missed my message.

Obviously my DJ instincts tell me she's just after a bit of an ego boost otherwise she would have suggested a time to go as opposed to simply apologizing. Thing that is getting me is that she is actually a nice chick i.e. I've known her for a few years now and one with a big heart etc, grounded and raised well.

So why reply all of a sudden. Especially when I thought she was trying to let me know and I took the message. I'm actually not sure how to gage her when I see her around now. She will most likely be just an opportunistic night out hook up now as opposed to me being after anything else.

 

[Meisterman]

I wouldn't ignore her entirely. That just makes you come off as immature or butt hurt. But take your time to reply, don't worry about getting back to her every time. Don't explain yourself when you missed her call. Basically treat her like sh*t and make her EARN her way back into your life, if she's lucky enough to even be granted another chance. (Only you can judge that). But the dynamic has to change or it will fail again. She messed up, and now she has to do even more to earn you back or at least try to.

 

[RangerMIke]

Obviously my DJ instincts tell me she's just after a bit of an ego boost otherwise she would have suggested a time to go as opposed to simply apologizing. Thing that is getting me is that she is actually a nice chick i.e. I've known her for a few years now and one with a big heart etc, grounded and raised well.

You're instincts are spot on. Women will do this, trust me it means NOTHING. She is only looking for a bit of validation since for whatever reason she is feeling down.

The way to test this is to call her say , "Hey, got your message, it's been awhile, when are you free for dinner so we can catch up?" Any response other than "Sure, I'm free XYZ...", and all she was looking for was an ego stroke.

If she won't make plans just say, "Okay, when you have time give me a call, Good bye." Hang up and NEVER contact her again, unless she reaches out to you. NEVER VALIDATE HER, try to make a date, if she won't then she is nothing to you.

I don't believe in cutting people out of my life, as long as a woman is trying to reach out to me I will try to make dates... but she gets NOTHING from me unless she goes out with me.

 

[BlindFury]

I mentioned a chick a while back who was super hot then went cold because I didn't take my chance. My mate who was good with chicks encouraged me to ask her out. I did, she got back to me then flaked i.e. never replied when we decided to make more concrete plans.

So obviously I've moved on. I'm not one to not have female interests so no biggie nor any hard feelings. Thing is I'm going on a good groove and then she starts leaving comments on my social media and this morning replied being all apologetic how she doesn't know how she missed my message.

Obviously my DJ instincts tell me she's just after a bit of an ego boost otherwise she would have suggested a time to go as opposed to simply apologizing. Thing that is getting me is that she is actually a nice chick i.e. I've known her for a few years now and one with a big heart etc, grounded and raised well.

So why reply all of a sudden. Especially when I thought she was trying to let me know and I took the message. I'm actually not sure how to gage her when I see her around now. She will most likely be just an opportunistic night out hook up now as opposed to me being after anything else.

She sounds like she is trying to string you along to get back on your radar and trying to validate herself to others knowing you had liked her and purposefully put her replies on social media rather than texting you back personally through a cell text instead of on a public forum.

Don't let it get to you.

Don't reply back right away. Wait a few days and just tell her: "No worries." (Or better yet don't reply at all unless she texts you personally.)

Don't ask her out again. It's up to her to suggest a counter offer now.

**If she does counter offer tell her you'll have to check and you'll get back to her. Don't just jump at it if she does and fixate on it in the conversation. Change the subject and ask what she's up to and keep the conversation light hearted and brief. Then exit it cordially and see if she asks again.

Only reason I say that is if she does counter offer and you jump at her counter offer and or fixate on plans in the conversation some of these chicks in the back of their mind want to see how much you're REALLY into them and they think desperate dude and keep up with the nonsense.

Unfortunately with her flaking to concrete plans, and then not sending you a personal text but rather on a public forum it would seem she's trying to play you to not only see how into her you really are but to validate herself at your expense on social media.

She MAY have a good excuse but to be honest she could've replied up front she was going and then something came up and gave a counter offer. But she didn't.

If it were myself I wouldn't respond at all on social media or text her. I'd let her hit me up personally through a text on the cell. If she did? Fine. If not? I wouldn't bother responding to her social media message or text her and just keep it moving not bothering with her anymore.

 

[GS750]

You could ask one more time, but let that be the last time. If she refuses or beats around the bush drop it. Or you could build up a bit of rapport with her and see if she suggests it. But keep texts light and short. Don't reply right away when she texts. Like Meisterman pointed out, make her work for it a bit.

 

[Bingo-Player]

i would proceed with extreme caution

in my experiences when a woman does something like this out of the blue she's usually after something

women act on impulse and whilst you may be her flavour today they are prone to change they're little minds at the drop of a hat

 

[hockeyfreak79]

This may or may not be the case, just a great thread to reference.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=124926

 

[Roni_88]

I wouldn't ignore her entirely. That just makes you come off as immature or butt hurt. But take your time to reply, don't worry about getting back to her every time. Don't explain yourself when you missed her call. Basically treat her like sh*t and make her EARN her way back into your life, if she's lucky enough to even be granted another chance. (Only you can judge that). But the dynamic has to change or it will fail again. She messed up, and now she has to do even more to earn you back or at least try to.

+1 to this, in my experience it leads to nothing,, because of their neediness for attention at that moment,, but that's it. What happened before will most likely repeat again. I guess there's exceptions too.