Whats the mentality behind flaking?

[Babnik]

This happened to me. A girl that I'd been seeing for more than a month just stopped calling. After about a week I emailed her and she admitted that she'd been stressed out over school and a couple of other things, couldn't make a date, and was too embarrassed to call. She was a pretty nervous girl who was generally shy around me, so I believed her on this one.

Sometimes you have to give them the benefit of the doubt. Use your instinct... you can usually tell a REAL flaker who's playing games.

How can you tell if she is a real flaker?

 

[Mental]

How can you tell if she is a real flaker?

If she has excema...

Ok. Enough of that sillyness. I think that if they're honest about it, it's easier, but that can be rare when they're honest about that.

I had one friend claim she really wanted to hang out (I had nvited a small group of people to lunch), but she sat watching TV in her PJ's. She wasn't sick. Wasn't bloated and crampy, didn't have PMS then, wasn't working, her car worked fine, she had her keys, No laundry or chores; she wasn't abducted by aliens... she just sat watching TV. But she "really really really wanted to go." riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

Now THAT'S flaking out.

Either way; want to know my reaction? I laughed at her, told her she was silly, and went back to talking to another friend. She didn't get the big dramatic emotional response that I think she wanted.

The only way is by getting to know them. That means a couple of invites. If she keeps promising she'll go and then doesn't show, chances are she's pretty flakey. If she just "forgot," she's both acting flakey AND not interested.

If she's forgetful with everyone, she's probably a flakey person in general, and don't take it personal.

You can have a woman who ACTS flakey with you, but isn't flakey in general. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to discover which one a particular woman might be.

That DOES require, like I said, just a little time.