"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
what's the m ost AFC thing you have ever witnessed firsthand?
- Thread starter backbreaker
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
RedPill
Master Don Juan
Dino's story takes the cake!
Here's some fresh AFC (in)action I've witnessed.
Last night I went out to hooters to hang out with two old buddies of mine who I haven't seen in awhile. They used to be my best friends, back in the chump days. I was quickly reminded why we don't hang out so much anymore. Our waitress (your average attractive and intentionally chatty hooters girl) kept returning to the table periodically to provide more beer, and my buddies were about the least smooth, geeky, annoying customers trying to impress her. I just kinda sat back smugly and watched the awkwardness take place, ocassionally making witty aside comments to her letting her know (right over their heads) how pathetic they were being, and I teased her for dealing with them.
About the third or so return trip for beer you could tell she was diggin' my refreshing non-caring attitude, which caused a rash of jealous outbursts from these guys. One yelled out as she was chatting me up, "she already told us she has a boyfriend before you got here!" On another trip to the table the other asked her, "hey which one of us do you think is the coolest guy with the most money?" Those guys gave her a ridiculous tip (close to $40 on a $60 bill) and then asked her directly if this was enough of a tip. Even though I've had my share of chump moments in years past, those guys took me to school on supplication.
I'll always be friends with those guys, we go way back, but if we only hang out two or three times a year that would be cool with me. Hopefully I never run into them on a date!
Here's some fresh AFC (in)action I've witnessed.
Last night I went out to hooters to hang out with two old buddies of mine who I haven't seen in awhile. They used to be my best friends, back in the chump days. I was quickly reminded why we don't hang out so much anymore. Our waitress (your average attractive and intentionally chatty hooters girl) kept returning to the table periodically to provide more beer, and my buddies were about the least smooth, geeky, annoying customers trying to impress her. I just kinda sat back smugly and watched the awkwardness take place, ocassionally making witty aside comments to her letting her know (right over their heads) how pathetic they were being, and I teased her for dealing with them.
About the third or so return trip for beer you could tell she was diggin' my refreshing non-caring attitude, which caused a rash of jealous outbursts from these guys. One yelled out as she was chatting me up, "she already told us she has a boyfriend before you got here!" On another trip to the table the other asked her, "hey which one of us do you think is the coolest guy with the most money?" Those guys gave her a ridiculous tip (close to $40 on a $60 bill) and then asked her directly if this was enough of a tip. Even though I've had my share of chump moments in years past, those guys took me to school on supplication.
I'll always be friends with those guys, we go way back, but if we only hang out two or three times a year that would be cool with me. Hopefully I never run into them on a date!
ApocalypseCow2
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 18, 2005
- Messages
- 217
- Reaction score
- 1
Wow, this sounds just like that South Park episode where the boys go to the "Raisins" restaraunt, which features scantily clad 8-year old girls serving ice cream to boys.
Now that I think about it, Butters' attitude in that episode is totally AFC.
Pantera_man
Don Juan
My AFC moments don't involve me supplicating or being a doormat, or being taken advantage of in any way.
Mine involve me ignoring blatant come-on attempts by attractive women, refusing to look at girls who are obviously trying to get my attention, shoving girls away who tried to get me to dance, shoving a girl who was touching the small of my back because I thought she was trying to push me, thinking that any girl who was showing interest directly was mocking me, and basically shutting myself off as protection/ because I didn't know what to say or do.
It f*cking sucks looking back at all those missed opportunities.
Mine involve me ignoring blatant come-on attempts by attractive women, refusing to look at girls who are obviously trying to get my attention, shoving girls away who tried to get me to dance, shoving a girl who was touching the small of my back because I thought she was trying to push me, thinking that any girl who was showing interest directly was mocking me, and basically shutting myself off as protection/ because I didn't know what to say or do.
It f*cking sucks looking back at all those missed opportunities.
wowiehowie
Banned
- Joined
- Oct 4, 2005
- Messages
- 171
- Reaction score
- 0
Yeah, it's guys like those you mentioned who you wouldn't even consider going out to clubs or bars with. Guys like that tend to embarrass you with their supplicating behavior.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Wow Dino that was messed up. I like the fact how you showed exectly how some women use their sexuality to tease a guy so he would do anything for them, while he gets nothing and her b/f does so little and gets everything.
The more a DJ you become the easier it is to filter those bad women out.
I can relate to your story.
DjDamage
The more a DJ you become the easier it is to filter those bad women out.
I can relate to your story.
DjDamage
The tale of a (near) 40-year old "man" and the three teenagers
I have a part time job delivering for this pizza shop, and the manager is the biggest douchebag ever.
Like, first off, he's a blatant pedo. I used to work with him at some Burger King when I was in highschool, and all he ever talked about, besides baseball statistics and pro-wrestling, was 9 year olds, and he still lives with his mother. I cut out the ad for The 40-Year Old Virgin out the paper and wrote "(manager's name) IS..." above the title and tacked it onto the bulletin board. When he saw it he almost broke a vein. He kinda looks like him too.
Anyway..
There're these three teenagers. One works there (16), another used to (18), and the third is a friend of theirs (15). Now, these girls are all kinda cute (especially the 16 year old, legal here too....
), but like, the dude's old enough to be their father.
Blah blah, here's a quick list, as I don't feel like writing the essay this guy deserves:
- he buys them all packs of cigarrettes (I think he keeps cartons in his car, and he doesn't smoke)
- he drives them around
- he tries talking to them about their teenager issues
- he let's them drive his car (and no, the girls didn't have licenses)
- the 16 year old gets him to do her work, and he cowers when she yells at him
- I looked through his cell phone (shame on me :nono: ) and he had this like 60+ message conversation with the one, talking about taking her shopping for a new phone and taking her to the tanning salon, telling her to "meet" him somewhere and all this. He even addressed her as "Hey girl!". I confronted her about it, and she says he does that a lot, and she always stands him up. Idiot.
- the only picture on his phone is of the 16 year old
- He tried for like 2 months to get the 16 year old to go to the shore with him. Taking a 16 year old out of state... isn't that like kidnapping? Then he almost cried when he had to go alone. Haha!
- he gave them his "schedule", telling them when and where he was going everday, like to the tanning salon, to the pool, shopping, all this crap, in case they should decide to tag along
- he invited them to a party he claimed he was having, using the allure of free booze. I seriously don't think he knows anyone his own age.
- he turns all red and gets jealous when they flirt with me
- he buys them clothing out of some girly catalog he gets in the mail. Why the **** does he get catalogs for teenage girls clothing mailed to his (mom's) house?
- the absolute dumbest thing he's done thus far, was give the older chick $500 to buy a car. He's not gonna see that ****ing money. Moron.
He also seems like a racist, as I've never seem him act so generous towards the black or latino girls that have worked there.
I have a part time job delivering for this pizza shop, and the manager is the biggest douchebag ever.
Like, first off, he's a blatant pedo. I used to work with him at some Burger King when I was in highschool, and all he ever talked about, besides baseball statistics and pro-wrestling, was 9 year olds, and he still lives with his mother. I cut out the ad for The 40-Year Old Virgin out the paper and wrote "(manager's name) IS..." above the title and tacked it onto the bulletin board. When he saw it he almost broke a vein. He kinda looks like him too.
Anyway..
There're these three teenagers. One works there (16), another used to (18), and the third is a friend of theirs (15). Now, these girls are all kinda cute (especially the 16 year old, legal here too....
), but like, the dude's old enough to be their father.Blah blah, here's a quick list, as I don't feel like writing the essay this guy deserves:
- he buys them all packs of cigarrettes (I think he keeps cartons in his car, and he doesn't smoke)
- he drives them around
- he tries talking to them about their teenager issues
- he let's them drive his car (and no, the girls didn't have licenses)
- the 16 year old gets him to do her work, and he cowers when she yells at him
- I looked through his cell phone (shame on me :nono: ) and he had this like 60+ message conversation with the one, talking about taking her shopping for a new phone and taking her to the tanning salon, telling her to "meet" him somewhere and all this. He even addressed her as "Hey girl!". I confronted her about it, and she says he does that a lot, and she always stands him up. Idiot.
- the only picture on his phone is of the 16 year old
- He tried for like 2 months to get the 16 year old to go to the shore with him. Taking a 16 year old out of state... isn't that like kidnapping? Then he almost cried when he had to go alone. Haha!
- he gave them his "schedule", telling them when and where he was going everday, like to the tanning salon, to the pool, shopping, all this crap, in case they should decide to tag along
- he invited them to a party he claimed he was having, using the allure of free booze. I seriously don't think he knows anyone his own age.
- he turns all red and gets jealous when they flirt with me
- he buys them clothing out of some girly catalog he gets in the mail. Why the **** does he get catalogs for teenage girls clothing mailed to his (mom's) house?
- the absolute dumbest thing he's done thus far, was give the older chick $500 to buy a car. He's not gonna see that ****ing money. Moron.
He also seems like a racist, as I've never seem him act so generous towards the black or latino girls that have worked there.
Kalel21
Don Juan
Well I don't think I was ever a big big AFC I think I just had a very bad Superman Complex. Everytime I saw a woman that I liked being treated badly I would go out of way to save her. Thats it.
But for some f*cked up reason they abusers always ended up f*cking them anyway, Which I still don't understand
But for some f*cked up reason they abusers always ended up f*cking them anyway, Which I still don't understand
Dust 2 Dust
Master Don Juan
I watched my friend jump on the hood of his GF's car after she broke up with him while the car was going down the street.
Same friend then left a creepy message on her answering machine about how he was gonnna be "watching her wherever she goes."
Watched my brother rolled around on the ground crying after a girl took out a restraining order against him for stalking.
Another friend of mine and his girlfriend broke up and got together again at least 15 times over a 3 year period.
This one here takes the cake. A FRIEND OF MINE TOOK BACK HIS EX WHO CHEATED ON HIM WHILE HE WAS IN IRAQ! After they got back together she stole 3,000 dollars from a safe he kept in his house and spent the money on a drug binge. She hooked up with a drug dealer while he was in Iraq and turned into a meth head.
Same friend then left a creepy message on her answering machine about how he was gonnna be "watching her wherever she goes."
Watched my brother rolled around on the ground crying after a girl took out a restraining order against him for stalking.
Another friend of mine and his girlfriend broke up and got together again at least 15 times over a 3 year period.
This one here takes the cake. A FRIEND OF MINE TOOK BACK HIS EX WHO CHEATED ON HIM WHILE HE WAS IN IRAQ! After they got back together she stole 3,000 dollars from a safe he kept in his house and spent the money on a drug binge. She hooked up with a drug dealer while he was in Iraq and turned into a meth head.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
syncmaster
Master Don Juan
ummm - i was a fat kid who kissed his best friends sister behind a tree-fort... then again i was 9.
Keeper
Master Don Juan
Re: The tale of a (near) 40-year old "man" and the three teenagers
Seriously. AFC's are quite normal. Something like 80% of the single male population are AFC's. This guy's just plain stupid and NOT normal. Hence he's not an AFC.
There is a difference between AFC and total psycho pedo.Originally posted by evoke
I have a part time job delivering for this pizza shop, and the manager is the biggest douchebag ever.
Like, first off, he's a blatant pedo. I used to work with him at some Burger King when I was in highschool, and all he ever talked about, besides baseball statistics and pro-wrestling, was 9 year olds, and he still lives with his mother. I cut out the ad for The 40-Year Old Virgin out the paper and wrote "(manager's name) IS..." above the title and tacked it onto the bulletin board. When he saw it he almost broke a vein. He kinda looks like him too.
Anyway..
There're these three teenagers. One works there (16), another used to (18), and the third is a friend of theirs (15). Now, these girls are all kinda cute (especially the 16 year old, legal here too....
Blah blah, here's a quick list, as I don't feel like writing the essay this guy deserves:
- he buys them all packs of cigarrettes (I think he keeps cartons in his car, and he doesn't smoke)
- he drives them around
- he tries talking to them about their teenager issues
- he let's them drive his car (and no, the girls didn't have licenses)
- the 16 year old gets him to do her work, and he cowers when she yells at him
- I looked through his cell phone (shame on me :nono: ) and he had this like 60+ message conversation with the one, talking about taking her shopping for a new phone and taking her to the tanning salon, telling her to "meet" him somewhere and all this. He even addressed her as "Hey girl!". I confronted her about it, and she says he does that a lot, and she always stands him up. Idiot.
- the only picture on his phone is of the 16 year old
- He tried for like 2 months to get the 16 year old to go to the shore with him. Taking a 16 year old out of state... isn't that like kidnapping? Then he almost cried when he had to go alone. Haha!
- he gave them his "schedule", telling them when and where he was going everday, like to the tanning salon, to the pool, shopping, all this crap, in case they should decide to tag along
- he invited them to a party he claimed he was having, using the allure of free booze. I seriously don't think he knows anyone his own age.
- he turns all red and gets jealous when they flirt with me
- he buys them clothing out of some girly catalog he gets in the mail. Why the **** does he get catalogs for teenage girls clothing mailed to his (mom's) house?
- the absolute dumbest thing he's done thus far, was give the older chick $500 to buy a car. He's not gonna see that ****ing money. Moron.
He also seems like a racist, as I've never seem him act so generous towards the black or latino girls that have worked there.
Seriously. AFC's are quite normal. Something like 80% of the single male population are AFC's. This guy's just plain stupid and NOT normal. Hence he's not an AFC.
backbreaker
Master Don Juan
more like 90-95%... one of my two best friends are the only person I know who is somewhat of a natural DJ...well, and my dad, so that's 2 out of about 100 men
PANTERA MAN
Dude, I know how you feel. Growing up, people made fun of me and it killed my self esteem. This affected my vision of girls hitting on me
-- Hot/bad girl who blantly liked me, thought she really liked me a s a friend...did not do anythng, she got pissed and does not talk to me.
-- Hot ass Dance girl in my class- Was really friendly to me one day, then turned cold..soon after got BF.
--- Girl in english class invited me out and to her house, thought I was too average for her, passed it on.
Girls do not want guy friends, if you feel something with a girl...do something cause most likely you are getting hit on. I look back and regret so much about not hitting on those three girls, especially the first one. She had the nicest tits I have ever seen in my life...I am just going on now.....But I learned my lesson.
Dude, I know how you feel. Growing up, people made fun of me and it killed my self esteem. This affected my vision of girls hitting on me
-- Hot/bad girl who blantly liked me, thought she really liked me a s a friend...did not do anythng, she got pissed and does not talk to me.
-- Hot ass Dance girl in my class- Was really friendly to me one day, then turned cold..soon after got BF.
--- Girl in english class invited me out and to her house, thought I was too average for her, passed it on.
Girls do not want guy friends, if you feel something with a girl...do something cause most likely you are getting hit on. I look back and regret so much about not hitting on those three girls, especially the first one. She had the nicest tits I have ever seen in my life...I am just going on now.....But I learned my lesson.
The Nice Guy is Gone
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 26, 2005
- Messages
- 325
- Reaction score
- 3
I was at the bar just the other night, and the bartender I mentioned, who has helped me to get social proof was the victim of the most AFC thing I've ever witnessed. This girl is hot.
Anyway, some customers come in and get their drinks, and they flirt with her a little, and then they go to shoot pool. One of them comes up and says, "My cousin wants to know if you wanna holler at him."
All I could do was just nod my head in disagreement, and I was laughing too. It was pretty funny. She knew why, looked over my way and grinned.
Her answer: "I'm seeing someone." This is true, she really is seeing someone.
Anyway, some customers come in and get their drinks, and they flirt with her a little, and then they go to shoot pool. One of them comes up and says, "My cousin wants to know if you wanna holler at him."
All I could do was just nod my head in disagreement, and I was laughing too. It was pretty funny. She knew why, looked over my way and grinned.
Her answer: "I'm seeing someone." This is true, she really is seeing someone.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
I was once at this girls birthday party about 4 years ago with my 3 of my cronies.
Well the birthday girl had a ****ing hot hb 8.7 sister. very exotic with the long black hair and tanned skin/dark eyes. very sexy.
well my friend was drunk and thought he was the king pimp so he was sloppy drunk confessing his love to her, saying "this is real, we were meant to be, will you please honor me and be my girlfriend?" this went on for about 45 minutes and he was dead serious. a half an hour later he was stumbling around in the woods by himself.
The worst thing was, all the other guys saw this and actually THOUGHT he was doing pimp pickup sh1t and the guys were swarming all around this girl, like surrounding her treating her like fvckin lindsey lohan paparazzi style.
I just stood back chillin with another dude sippin some brew and basically only greeted her one time and that was it.
The next day she was asking about me because of my mysterious nature, when in reality i just didnt feel like being another sheep after this girl. the great thing is this was when i was 16 and before i came here. i was on some natural sh1t back then and still am to this day.
btw my friend never lived it down, i still bring it up and question his AFC behavior haha.
Well the birthday girl had a ****ing hot hb 8.7 sister. very exotic with the long black hair and tanned skin/dark eyes. very sexy.
well my friend was drunk and thought he was the king pimp so he was sloppy drunk confessing his love to her, saying "this is real, we were meant to be, will you please honor me and be my girlfriend?" this went on for about 45 minutes and he was dead serious. a half an hour later he was stumbling around in the woods by himself.
The worst thing was, all the other guys saw this and actually THOUGHT he was doing pimp pickup sh1t and the guys were swarming all around this girl, like surrounding her treating her like fvckin lindsey lohan paparazzi style.
I just stood back chillin with another dude sippin some brew and basically only greeted her one time and that was it.
The next day she was asking about me because of my mysterious nature, when in reality i just didnt feel like being another sheep after this girl. the great thing is this was when i was 16 and before i came here. i was on some natural sh1t back then and still am to this day.
btw my friend never lived it down, i still bring it up and question his AFC behavior haha.
avrilishot
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 16, 2005
- Messages
- 236
- Reaction score
- 0
- Age
- 39
I guess the only AFC thing I have ever did was probably just never asking for a number or lookin away.
Ok. My manager is a psycho. Good thing these girls seem capable of outsmarting him at every turn. If he did ANYTHING to these girls I'd be the first one to cut his ****ing head off.
So uh, yeah. My personal worst AFC moment was when I had this chick over. We were both pretty drunk, making out in my bedroom, her shirt off, yadda yadda.
Well, I hadn't gotten around to putting any airconditioners in the house yet, and it was the beginning of this godawful heatway.
heatwave + nervousness (I was in love with this girl) = me sweating like I just ran a marathon
Needless to say, I wasn't behaving very... suave. I was terribly embarrassed, and kept apologizing for the fact that I looked like I just stepped out of a sauna.
She got up, put her clothes on, sat down, and gave me the LJBF's speech. I nearly wept, and kept going "WHY!!! WHY!!!".
In better news, despite the speech, she has a habit of acting entirely too friendly around me lately, so...
So uh, yeah. My personal worst AFC moment was when I had this chick over. We were both pretty drunk, making out in my bedroom, her shirt off, yadda yadda.
Well, I hadn't gotten around to putting any airconditioners in the house yet, and it was the beginning of this godawful heatway.
heatwave + nervousness (I was in love with this girl) = me sweating like I just ran a marathon
Needless to say, I wasn't behaving very... suave. I was terribly embarrassed, and kept apologizing for the fact that I looked like I just stepped out of a sauna.
She got up, put her clothes on, sat down, and gave me the LJBF's speech. I nearly wept, and kept going "WHY!!! WHY!!!".
In better news, despite the speech, she has a habit of acting entirely too friendly around me lately, so...
Egoist
Master Don Juan
most of my AFC moments dealt with missing chances to hook up with women that wanted me, and being too nice when i shouldn't have..
Egoist
Master Don Juan
evoke: i knew a guy just like you described! He owned a small toy store in a downtown area, and only hired like 16 year olds.. OMG he was sooo creepy and waaay to nice and sexual to the girls..
i ****ing hate guys like that.. sick..
at least wait until they are 18/21..
i ****ing hate guys like that.. sick..
at least wait until they are 18/21..
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.