Why is that when some guys do rebellious things (drugs, smoke, rebel against their parents) they are considered cool bad boys by girls and other guys that do the same things are considered losers by girls? What's the difference between the two guys?
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I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
What's the difference between a cool bad boy and a loser bad boy?
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"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
bukowski_merit
Master Don Juan
because those are things you do (which matter far less than you can imagine).
what matters is attitude, and your overall ability with women.
the cool bad boys - have attractive attitudes. the loser bad boys - don't... and i wouldn't doubt that the women who like the cool bad boys call them losers from time to time too, but they'd give it up to them in an instant.
it's been a while since i've been in high school... but as i remember - the bad boys that got the women were normally the leaders, and the ones that didn't were normally their followers (who got their throwdowns)...
what matters is attitude, and your overall ability with women.
the cool bad boys - have attractive attitudes. the loser bad boys - don't... and i wouldn't doubt that the women who like the cool bad boys call them losers from time to time too, but they'd give it up to them in an instant.
it's been a while since i've been in high school... but as i remember - the bad boys that got the women were normally the leaders, and the ones that didn't were normally their followers (who got their throwdowns)...
Agree totally with Bukowski.
It is to an extent true that girls like bad boys....
Now, girls have certain preferences in guys, with respect to facial characteristics, and also behaviour, such as dominance etc. These are affected by the persons testosterone levels, with higher the better. However, high testosterone levels also increase the likelihood of a person exhibiting classic bad boy behaviour.
So there is a correlation between bad boy behaviour, attractive facial features dominance/leadership. So although attractive males tend to have bad boy qualities, acting like a bad boy itself is not enough to make a person attractive.
Now, pretty obviously guys have latched on girls liking bad boys, so those who are not actually bad try to act tough, hoping it would get them the girl. However they lack the other more important qualities, and women can see through their bad-boy facade.
It is to an extent true that girls like bad boys....
Now, girls have certain preferences in guys, with respect to facial characteristics, and also behaviour, such as dominance etc. These are affected by the persons testosterone levels, with higher the better. However, high testosterone levels also increase the likelihood of a person exhibiting classic bad boy behaviour.
So there is a correlation between bad boy behaviour, attractive facial features dominance/leadership. So although attractive males tend to have bad boy qualities, acting like a bad boy itself is not enough to make a person attractive.
Now, pretty obviously guys have latched on girls liking bad boys, so those who are not actually bad try to act tough, hoping it would get them the girl. However they lack the other more important qualities, and women can see through their bad-boy facade.
Here are some observations from my high school days:
Most of the "uncool" bad boys are just posers and you can sniff them out from a mile away. The "cool" bad boys know they're bad and they don't need to boast about it. The uncool bad boys just do things to get attention and try to advertise to everyone how bad ass they are.
The cool bad boys don't give fvck what people think of them. The uncool bad boys do all kinds of stupid things to get attention and to try and shape their image. But when you try to do that, most people can sense it pretty quickly. So they just end up being considered losers.
Most of the "uncool" bad boys are just posers and you can sniff them out from a mile away. The "cool" bad boys know they're bad and they don't need to boast about it. The uncool bad boys just do things to get attention and try to advertise to everyone how bad ass they are.
The cool bad boys don't give fvck what people think of them. The uncool bad boys do all kinds of stupid things to get attention and to try and shape their image. But when you try to do that, most people can sense it pretty quickly. So they just end up being considered losers.
The way you project yourself and also the social conditioning she has inside her head.
Example :
When I was in high school I was a hip-hop weed smokin social rebellious cool guy. Chicks in general digged me even tho I was either to stupid to notice or subconsciously scared of success (whatever).
I also knew people who would be able to describe themselves in the same way except take the hip hop out and add classic rock and women thought they we're weird and never had ANY attention.
Sometimes it can be things as small as that. The projection of their identity was completely changed due to their 'clique' or 'group'. my 2c
Example :
When I was in high school I was a hip-hop weed smokin social rebellious cool guy. Chicks in general digged me even tho I was either to stupid to notice or subconsciously scared of success (whatever).
I also knew people who would be able to describe themselves in the same way except take the hip hop out and add classic rock and women thought they we're weird and never had ANY attention.
Sometimes it can be things as small as that. The projection of their identity was completely changed due to their 'clique' or 'group'. my 2c
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
The cool guys are doing it because it's who they are. It's their authentic self. Like bukowski said, they're the leaders.
The losers are doing it because they want to fit in and are seeking acceptance, which is obviously an unattractive trait to women.
The losers are doing it because they want to fit in and are seeking acceptance, which is obviously an unattractive trait to women.
Someone Much cooler
Senior Don Juan
age and maturity also have alot to do with it.
Imo once you get out of H.S and college there is no more cool and uncool...just paid and not paid.
Imo once you get out of H.S and college there is no more cool and uncool...just paid and not paid.
WC2
Master Don Juan
I don't know about the whole once you get out of high school there are no losers.. trust me, losers will be losers.
Men who can't pull women will be just that. Men who can't vibe with others are just the same in the real world. The difference is, people won't tell you because they have more important things to worry about. Whether they are paid or unpaid, among people who know better, they may just be losers as well.
The main belief of a bad boy isn't necessarily to be 'bad'. Women who perceive men as bad boys are men who are masculine and do what they want to; whether it's seen as BAD or GOOD.
Men like this aren't afraid to step over boundaries if they feel like it. They don't mind saying something negative if they feel the need to say it. They don't mind telling someone they're and idiot if they really are. They are not products of social conditioning.
People are usually most compatible with their sexual opposites. The more womanly the woman, the more manly the man she craves. The more manly the woman, the more womanly of man she craves. It's not 100% accurate, however it's been proved to some degree.
Most attractive women tend to be womanly and thus crave masculine men. Subconsciously, they want to be put in their place by a man. They don't want some sissy boy to cater to their every need.
These men you call 'bad boys' are really just (as I said before) not a product of social conditioning. They are their own men who get what they want, when they want it, and no one is going to stop them. They don't take in to account how they will be perceived publicly, they just do it. This is why women crave them so much.
Smoking weed and dropping the f-bomb every other word does NOT make you a bad boy.
It's not as simple as changing how you say something or liking 'bad ass' hobbies. It's a lifestyle, not a characteristic. If you're someone who caves in to social conditioning, it's very hard to get yourself out of it. Sure, it's possible but it takes time.
Men who can't pull women will be just that. Men who can't vibe with others are just the same in the real world. The difference is, people won't tell you because they have more important things to worry about. Whether they are paid or unpaid, among people who know better, they may just be losers as well.
The main belief of a bad boy isn't necessarily to be 'bad'. Women who perceive men as bad boys are men who are masculine and do what they want to; whether it's seen as BAD or GOOD.
Men like this aren't afraid to step over boundaries if they feel like it. They don't mind saying something negative if they feel the need to say it. They don't mind telling someone they're and idiot if they really are. They are not products of social conditioning.
People are usually most compatible with their sexual opposites. The more womanly the woman, the more manly the man she craves. The more manly the woman, the more womanly of man she craves. It's not 100% accurate, however it's been proved to some degree.
Most attractive women tend to be womanly and thus crave masculine men. Subconsciously, they want to be put in their place by a man. They don't want some sissy boy to cater to their every need.
These men you call 'bad boys' are really just (as I said before) not a product of social conditioning. They are their own men who get what they want, when they want it, and no one is going to stop them. They don't take in to account how they will be perceived publicly, they just do it. This is why women crave them so much.
Smoking weed and dropping the f-bomb every other word does NOT make you a bad boy.
It's not as simple as changing how you say something or liking 'bad ass' hobbies. It's a lifestyle, not a characteristic. If you're someone who caves in to social conditioning, it's very hard to get yourself out of it. Sure, it's possible but it takes time.
Ok. To simplify.
There is no such thing as a 'loser' bad boy.
There are the bad boys, and then there are dirtballs.
Don't be a dirtball.
The "badboys"
- Dress like they have some sense
- Don't have to prove anything
- Don't go out of their way to be "bad", it just kind of happens
Dirtballs
- Where whatever makes them look gutter. Usually the clothes don't even fit, they just happen to be in.
- Are always trying to prove themselves to somebody. Usually one of the "cooler" bad boys
- Go out of their way to assert their badassness at every chance they get.
It's like the difference between a Supervillian and a henchmen
There is no such thing as a 'loser' bad boy.
There are the bad boys, and then there are dirtballs.
Don't be a dirtball.
The "badboys"
- Dress like they have some sense
- Don't have to prove anything
- Don't go out of their way to be "bad", it just kind of happens
Dirtballs
- Where whatever makes them look gutter. Usually the clothes don't even fit, they just happen to be in.
- Are always trying to prove themselves to somebody. Usually one of the "cooler" bad boys
- Go out of their way to assert their badassness at every chance they get.
It's like the difference between a Supervillian and a henchmen
CapedCrusader08
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This is what's always confused me,yet it still makes sense,for other people that is.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
OTB
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So do you honestly think that anything has changed since the time you graduated?bukowski_merit said:
OTB
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WC2 said:
That's the most intersting thing I have read in the entire thread! :yes:
I've heard of this theory several times before
I'm actually gonna find a scientific article to prove this and I'll post it up as a completely different thread!
Cool bad boy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOXa8mkPpeY&feature=related
Loser bad boy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAct-S2Es9E&feature=related
Loser bad boy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAct-S2Es9E&feature=related
intrextrovert
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cool: normal guy with a lot of balls that likes to do stuff considered risky or even crazy at times
loser: guy without much balls that fronts like he does. puffs himself up and likes to spread his badboy rep. Eg he talks the talk but doesn't walk the walk, whereas the cool one walks the walk without talking the talk (or without doing it too much)
loser: guy without much balls that fronts like he does. puffs himself up and likes to spread his badboy rep. Eg he talks the talk but doesn't walk the walk, whereas the cool one walks the walk without talking the talk (or without doing it too much)
A little comparation, lets go back to the early '90's:
- The guys in Nirvana were loser bad boys who only whined and did a lot of drugs, while trying to create some cool rebellion image against the then-popular rock scene. Hell, the lead singer even hated life so much he shot himself in the face. Can't get much lower then that if you ask me.
- The guys in Guns 'n Roses were cool bad boys who just didn't give a f*ck about all that. In the end they also did lot of drugs but got all the p*ssy in the world while destroying hotel rooms and living like rockstars without dwelling on some message or image or bullsh*t like that.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.