"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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What's the deal with these tinder sloots?

MountainSlide

Master Don Juan
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Last night girl messaged me on tinder, I read it, logged off, 15 minutes later I thought of a witty response and went to fire back and girl had unmatched me. Today a girl propisitioned me for sex, gave me her number, I told her I was busy and would text her in a bit. Went to get her number from tinder and she unmatched me. Are these some codependent ass *****es or what?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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MountainSlide

Master Don Juan
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Haha I'll order them a pizza and jizz all over it, special sauce ladies?
 

Heisenburger

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Good 'ol blighty.
So what if they unmatched you. All you have to do is go back to the home screen and match up with another one. That's the beauty with tinder. You fastrack the mindset of next.
 
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