whats the best way...?

[parson]

i've been with a girl now 4 ten years, I'm coming close to ending it.
things are on the slide anyway, but what's made it worse is that I've fallen head over for her friend...
I've been reading here that the best way to get the date is to play it cool, like it's no big deal. but if i were to end my relationship, I won't get much chance to see this new girl so I've got to make it clear just how much I like her... how do I do this without coming over as desperate?

should I start making signals now? or will that make me look like a two-timer. I'm hopeless at reading women, but I'd like to know if there's anything there for her with me. I see her most days, she talks and is friendly - the normal...
The most I can see is that she sometimes looks at me, then averts quickly when I catch her eye. Should I read that as a sign or is this just me being hyper sensitive?

 

[quest]

Originally posted by parson
i've been with a girl now 4 ten years, I'm coming close to ending it.
things are on the slide anyway, but what's made it worse is that I've fallen head over for her friend...
I've been reading here that the best way to get the date is to play it cool, like it's no big deal. but if i were to end my relationship, I won't get much chance to see this new girl so I've got to make it clear just how much I like her... how do I do this without coming over as desperate?

should I start making signals now? or will that make me look like a two-timer. I'm hopeless at reading women, but I'd like to know if there's anything there for her with me. I see her most days, she talks and is friendly - the normal...
The most I can see is that she sometimes looks at me, then averts quickly when I catch her eye. Should I read that as a sign or is this just me being hyper sensitive?

dude.. ur a really long way off..

to put it simply.. u've been with this girl for 10 years.. u have so much history, and u want to throw all that away, + her relationship with her friend so that u MIGHT be able to get ur **** wet?

how about u end it. forget the friend, get out of her life and find a new girl to share looks with.
that way u don't totally ruin someone who you know doubt care abouts life.

 

[parson]

it's not about getting anthing wet... we all fancy plenty of people we meet. I just visit mrs palmer and thats as much as I get with them.

I fancied this girl, but didn't really like her until I started to get to know her.

maybe my realonship would've ended anyhow. all I know is I've started questioning it big time since getting to know this girl. why I just walk away from her, what about my feelings. this might sound selfish, but for the first time in my life i feel like going after what I want

 

[diablo]

Originally posted by parson
if i were to end my relationship, I won't get much chance to see this new girl

Actually, you won't get any chance to see her. If you think that a girl's friend is going to date someone who her good friend just got out of a 10 year relationship with, you're delusional... better luck finding someone else.

 

[Kevon]

I wanted to post the same thing earlier, just forget about the friend, and not to be big on your reputation, but if you made a move on hbLTR's friend, they would probably say some not so good things about it. Bro's before hoes for me, and hoes before bro's is what the ladies say.

THat is not to say that rules like that are never broke, but I doubt it in this instance.

 

[parson]

Bro's before hoes for me, and hoes before bro's is what the ladies say.

eh?

 

[Kevon]

meaning, dating you would make her friend (your ex) hate her. The girl you are interested values her relationship with your ex, more than she values her relationship with you

 

[parson]

yeah, you're right...

this wasn't the response i wanted to hear...


I've heard a lot about a friends getting it on, but it's usually the girl running off with the guy's mate. i guess blokes aren't as bothered about all the 'friendship' lark, esp. when a chicks up for grabs

 

[Colossus]

"Bros before Hoes" is such bullsh!t. Sure, it's a great ideal to have, but it only applies until someone gets a girlfriend. Talk is cheap.

 

[parson]

I agree with that last comment.

I can't just throw ten years away.
Though If i'm gonna make things work in my relationship, she always going to be around, being my girlfriends friend. So I've got to put up with her.

But let's forget the situation for a minute. I just wanted to know veiws on body language really.

What does this looking and then quickly averting her gaze mean?

If it means nothing then tell me, as I'm backing a loser anyway. Even if you reckon it means she thinks I'm okay, in time I'll get a grip of the situation and see it as a compliment, nothing more.

though at the moment, I'm not sure how...

 

[Colossus]

I couldnt really tell you for sure unless I was there. Most likely it indicates some sort of interest or curiosity, but dont read into a quick glance that much.

 

[Royal Elite]

Originally posted by parson
I agree with that last comment.

I can't just throw ten years away.
Though If i'm gonna make things work in my relationship, she always going to be around, being my girlfriends friend. So I've got to put up with her.

But let's forget the situation for a minute. I just wanted to know veiws on body language really.

What does this looking and then quickly averting her gaze mean?

If it means nothing then tell me, as I'm backing a loser anyway. Even if you reckon it means she thinks I'm okay, in time I'll get a grip of the situation and see it as a compliment, nothing more.

though at the moment, I'm not sure how...

The best advice I can give you has nothing to do with body language. You only go around this earth once, and life is pretty simple. If you don't like something about your life, change it. It doesnt matter what anyone else thinks about it, if you are truly unhappy.

You dont stay with a woman just becuase you have been with her, you stay with her because she makes you happy. If you aren't happy after 10 years what is staying around another 3 years going to do. You will finnally get out and wonder why you wasted 13 years instead of 10.

Anything in your life you aren't happy with change, because no one else will change them for you.

 

[DeathDealer]

kevon and quest are smoking some african crack breed or something! don't listen to them.

listen to the real djs like diablo and me...

anyways..if you tell your girl's friend how you feel, she will tell your girl and you both lose any connection with them. i sorta understand your dilemma, the thing is and is a common rule for men is that if you do not date a person who is very familiar with you or has other people who is very familiar with her. if your gf's friend was interested in you, she'd say it or wait for you to leave her and then her friend comes after you.

look buddy if you feel you are in a rut and want to leave, DO IT. go ahead and find someone new.

 

[parson]

the thing is, things were okay between me and my girl 'til this friend came on the scene. my girlfriend knew her at work a little for 12 months. then she moved away but has recently come back, during which time I got a job at the same place and now we all sit together!!
before this, I'd only seen her a few times, thought she was nice looking (like thousands of them) but hardly spoke to her and felt she came across a bit moody and ****y. I didn't like her personally that much.
I was pleased when she came back to work with us, just for somthing to look at. But it's only these last 4/5 months that I've began to know her and fall for her. I can't move from my job, so shes there all the time in my face.
How can I get her out my mind, so I can really decide what happening in my relationship.