What's the best way to let a chick know that you're not paying her way on a date?

[jnice48146]

So I was wondering, how do you go about getting a chick to pay her own way, especially on the 1st date? I've had some girls come out and ask for separate checks when we ordered food, and some that have just pulled out their purse or wallet when it was time to pay for something. But what about the ones that ask you "What? You're not gonna buy me dinner/ drinks, pay for my bowling, etc?" :crackup:

My thought would be to say, " I'm not your sugar daddy. You've chosen to spend time with me, I didn't buy your time. What are you, one of those girls that's only out for what a man will buy you?" in a controlled tone, with a ****y smile on my grill. :nono:

Comments/ suggestions?

 

[Ease]

Sounds too serious.

Id say, 'ok u get the bill and ill get our coats'. If she takes it as a joke, then i say 'okok fine we'll split it'. If she gets ready to pay, SUCCESS.

If she makes ANY mention to me buying stuff i laugh in her face and shoot her down. That type of stuff pisses me off. I much prefer not to make a big deal about paying, but some of these girls have their 'games' to make the guy pay. some bs.

 

[2crudedudes]

Okay, I'm gonna need some major help here. Please elaborate on this topic extensively because I just cannot see myself making a girl pay. Even with the girl I was with for 5 years, whom I rarely if ever took out (we started going out when I had just been fired, but we f*cked A LOT and that was cool with her). I just can't see myself letting her pay now if we do go out.

Rip me a new one boys, how do you do this? I was under the impression that whoever invites you somewhere, pays your bill.

 

[teacha]

If you invite a woman out, you gotta pay but if she invites you out, she gotta pay. thats how i roll....

 

[jnice48146]

See, I think paying for her, in the beginning especially, is the road to the "friend zone" and AFC-dom. Isn't it supplication? Is that maybe one more benefit to have her meet you somewhere you already planned to be, with or without her? Example: " Hey, I'm going to get lunch at x restaurant, you should join me." I'm not cheap, I just don't see why us guys should have to pay for everything. Is she gonna pick up the tab next time? I doubt it.

 

[jnice48146]

BTW, Thanks Ease. Sound advice, keep it light and funny.

 

[Stéphane]

With my current girlfriend I pay sometimes, and she pays. I started out by paying for everything, but by the third date I made it clear that it was her turn. It something you need to put in place early in the relationship. I basically said: It's your turn to pay for this one. Now when I pay she offers to pay or the next time because she knows I could get pissed off.

If you pay for everything, and you been together for a year or more, I doubt you're going to be able to change that...

 

[Gangster Of Love]

The best way is to NOT TAKE HER OUT ON DATES the first few times. Don't invite her to do anything you are not ready to fork the bill for. Yes, ideally you want to split it, or at lest have her offer to pay, but too many times she will not do that.

I really think guys have no business going out or inviting women on dates that cost more money than they are able to spend/spare. It is just a bad idea. If you are not willing to pay for bowling, ice cream, coffee, etc. then you are not ready to date.

If you are not willing to pay for dinner, movies, etc., then you shouldn't be inviting/taking women out on those types of dates. As mentioned already, whoever invites, needs to be willing to pay most of the expenses. That is exactly why you need to keep the cost to a minimum when getting to know somebody.

If she's the type that won't offer to pay, denying you the opportunit/choice to turn her offer down, then either be ready/willing to pay, or just shut up and blame yourself for taking them on on dates where money is gonna be an issue.

If this will be an issue for you, then you might need to move onto someone else. If you are going to invite and you are picking the place then don't bitsh about the money, JUST DON'T DO IT!

This rarely comes up or is an issue with me. If I see somebody who takes advantage and tries to avoid paying, never offers, etc., then it is my choice to stop pursuing or spending time with this woman; and I usually cut down, or eliminate seeing her more, if my interest is not high enough.

As Stephane says, you need to establish these expectations, EARLY ON; most women worth the time, and with character, will have no problem with you not paying all of the time, and will usually suggest and offer to help out, even if you are okay with paying.

 

[BigJimbo]

Seeing that money is the greatest aphrodisiac known to man I now know why you boys struggle to get girls.