What's the best way to build up your resilience?

[GreyedOut]

I really struggle to accept rejection. I don't really have a problem approaching girls, it's more of rejection from relationships or even potential relationships. I didn't handle my ex cheating on me and leaving very well at all. I think I should have gone to therapy to be honest.

I've started dating again and realized I'm terrified of this girl leaving me. I can't just accept the process of dating and keep it casual. It's super insecure but I can't seem to shake this mentality. I try to remind myself I've got a lot going on for me and I keep trying to improve my life so that's true. But this thought consumes me. I feel like I want to dump this girl so I can avoid the pain of rejection.

Any advice? Will I build up a resilience as I experience this more? Or do I need to deal with the insecurities that make me afraid of rejection?

 

[Luke]

Take it slow and easy.

Remind yourself that its life and go do things you like so you dont worrie that much about being hurt.

For each heartbreak you get you will grow stronger and be able to protect yourself more from these situations.

 

[Atom Smasher]

How long have you been dating this girl? Are you two physically intimate? If so, how long into the relationship did that start?

How long were you with your ex, and how long has it been since the final breakup?

Do you have a social circle? What is it like? Are you able to talk to strangers and do you make the effort to chat people up?

Finally, describe the character of your girlfriend, your relationsip with her, and whether or not you suspect her of BPD.

Some of these questions might seem totally irrelevent to you, but work with me here. This will give us the information we need in order to be able to help you.

 

[GreyedOut]

How long have you been dating this girl? Are you two physically intimate? If so, how long into the relationship did that start?

Been dating this girl for about 2 months. Yes we're physically intimate. 3 weeks in we started, but I slowed it down recently because I needed to take it slower. Wasn't sure what I wanted.

How long were you with your ex, and how long has it been since the final breakup?

We dated for close to 4 years and it's been a little over a year since the breakup.

Do you have a social circle? What is it like? Are you able to talk to strangers and do you make the effort to chat people up?

Yes I have a great social circle. I'm out every Friday and Saturday night, and I usually make plans throughout the week. I'm meeting new people pretty regularly and I'm very comfortable in doing so. I've been told regularly I'm very charismatic and should work in sales.

Finally, describe the character of your girlfriend, your relationsip with her, and whether or not you suspect her of BPD.

By girlfriend I'm assuming you mean my ex? I'm not officially in a relationship with this current girl. She probably had BPD. She was very insecure and needy. We used to get in fights over stupid stuff like me going out with friends or not calling her quick enough. She cried all the time. This current girl is nothing like this and has a very busy life. She's taking a very healthy perspective to dating and we see each other about 1 or 2 times a week.

Some of these questions might seem totally irrelevent to you, but work with me here. This will give us the information we need in order to be able to help you