Whats the best way to achieve a 'dont give a fvck' attitude?

[coldcoal]

Originally posted by The_Shnitz
I dont wanna give a ****. i spend most of my time worrying about what people think of me. Whats good, meditation, what?

Look at it this way...

*thought*

That was me thinking something bad about you. Did it hurt? Oh wait, here comes another one *thought*. Scared yet? *thought* Worried? *thought* *thought* Oh man, wait, hold on.. *thought* *thought* *thought* Did I win yet?

Don't even try to be a tough guy. I've got plenty more where that came from.

Take this! *thought*

Bet you didn't see the eye roll coming, did you?
I've got all sorts of moves & combos, man.

 

[The_Shnitz]

Originally posted by DjDreamer
Thinking like that will make you aquire a "depressed" attitude...you'll be living with no sense of porpuse...

Thinking like what, DjDreamer?

 

[Gonzalo]

Originally posted by The_Shnitz
I dont wanna give a ****. i spend most of my time worrying about what people think of me. Whats good, meditation, what?

Setting up your long/short term goals, and getting busy at acheiving them. When you KNOW you can get whatever you put your mind into, and actually find yourself working for what you want, you'll realize you don't give a fukk about what people "think", because you already KNOW what you're up to. G

 

[Golden Arms]

Self-consciousness is a b!tch and it holds a lot of people back. I think everyone has a natural DJ inside of them, but it's self-consciousness that prevents a lot of guys from letting him out. That's why you see a lot of people trying to memorize techniques, trying to get it perfect - the C&F, the neg hits, etc..and then they complain how it still doesn't work - well, a lot of times the reason for that is what they do is contrived instead of natural. You're too worried about how other people perceive you - but what you should be thinking is those same people are probably more worried about you judging them. People are constantly trying to use that feedback mechanism in their brain to analyze themselves. In a lot of ways this is just like trying to look at your own eyes without using a mirror. And then you get stuck in this constant loop of self-conscousness where you have to analyze and analyze your state of mind every second of your existence. Even if you're having a good time, it's not enough just to relax and have a good time, but you have to analyze yourself and report to yourself that you are in fact, having a good time. It's this same type of thinking that makes you self-conscious in front of others - you're analyzing yourself - "do I look good ?" "how's my speech?" "god forbid I make a bad impression on these people". This is what kills the natural DJ inside you, IMO.
Stop trying to "not give a fvck". How about this - stop trying to control everything you do and just let go.

 

[DjDreamer]

Originally posted by The_Shnitz: Thinking like what, DjDreamer?

Thinking like this...

Originmally posted by THA REALNESS: By realizing that you are gonna die one day and that 99.9 of life is trivial.

 

[Zircon]

Re: Re: Whats the best way to achieve a 'dont give a fvck' attitude?

Originally posted by wheelin&dealin
The best way to achieve this attitude is to think that you are better than everyone. Don't ever say it out loud or tell anyone... but in your mind think that you are better than everyone and that you could get any chick you want.

Another way to achieve a don't give a fock attitude, is to treat peoples emotions as non-existent. This works well, especially with women.

yeah the not giving about ppl's emotions is prob good...I am the opposite of that...because I used to feel a lot, I expected the same from other ppl...this was hammered into me by my parents...hahaha funny how parents try to produce "good children" and in the process F^CK em up. Amazing.

 

[Survivor]

Originally posted by THA REALNESS
By realizing that you are gonna die one day and that 99.9 of life is trivial.

Disagree. 99.9% of life is not trivial. 99.9% of people are trivial.

Stop trying to embrace people.

Embrace life instead.

 

[Ice Cold]

Try to talk to 10 random chicks a day.

After 10 mins of fluff touch them. If they don't like it, NEXT

10 more minutes and you hug them and kiss them goodbye on the cheek. They don't like it - NEXT

In a week, you'll be casually hugging and kissing AT LEAST 25 girls when you greet them.

Your social proof will go up as well as your mood.

You won't be able realistically give a fukk about any one of them when you have 10 + options

 

[Mac]

If you have ever seen fight club there is a line that says you can't be free till you lost everything.

This idea is Nietzschian in principle (although I think Kierkegaard said it first). In order to not care you have to hit rock bottom; you have to abandon hope.

So my suggestion is this: put yourslef in situations where you can ask girls out and do things that you fear (public speaking, hights whatever)

Will you probably fail the first few times around?

Yeah. (you may get a yes, who knows). But at a certain point you will realise that, you have asked out many girls before and does it suck to get a no, absolutly, but it wont bug you because youll know its not a big deal in the long run. Regaurdless of what happens it wont be a big deal and thus you won't care.

By constantly engaging yourslef with the problem, you gain twofold, experience and the "not care attitude" via abandonment of hope becuase you realize your not losing anything.

The odd thing is by giving up, if you can truly do it (with somewhere a belief that you will eventually succeed, yes thats meant to be paradoxical), you will gain everything.

Then when one comes to terms with the fact that you will one day die, you will begin to act in the matter that you want to live in , "the not care attitude" not fear.

-Mac

 

[DjDreamer]

Originally posted by Golden Arms: Self-consciousness is a b!tch and it holds a lot of people back. I think everyone has a natural DJ inside of them, but it's self-consciousness that prevents a lot of guys from letting him out. That's why you see a lot of people trying to memorize techniques, trying to get it perfect - the C&F, the neg hits, etc..and then they complain how it still doesn't work - well, a lot of times the reason for that is what they do is contrived instead of natural. You're too worried about how other people perceive you - but what you should be thinking is those same people are probably more worried about you judging them. People are constantly trying to use that feedback mechanism in their brain to analyze themselves. In a lot of ways this is just like trying to look at your own eyes without using a mirror. And then you get stuck in this constant loop of self-conscousness where you have to analyze and analyze your state of mind every second of your existence. Even if you're having a good time, it's not enough just to relax and have a good time, but you have to analyze yourself and report to yourself that you are in fact, having a good time. It's this same type of thinking that makes you self-conscious in front of others - you're analyzing yourself - "do I look good ?" "how's my speech?" "god forbid I make a bad impression on these people". This is what kills the natural DJ inside you, IMO. Stop trying to "not give a fvck". How about this - stop trying to control everything you do and just let go.

Excellent post...

Lack of full awareness is what makes the drunk stumble and confidently approach a good looking woman.

Intelligence can be a curse...anxiety occurs when there is constant focus on negative outcomes...giving overanalysis to "what if" is like water hitting against a wall, there is no flow...

Not "giving a fvck" involves having the realisation that somethings are beyond ones control...that's Zen...

 

[bugsquish]

Hmm lot of excellent posts here.

Most people agree that "the attitude" requires a shift in mindset, but it's easier said than done. You don't have a switch in your brain. A change of attitude is like trying to change a deeply rooted habit. Like, say giving up smoking. Any smokers here? I am myself and I'm still trying to kick the habit. Getting there, but it's NOT easy. But still easier I reckon, than changing your attitude towards yourself and how you conduct yourself in public. Saying "I don't give a feck" (or any of the mindsets suggested to adopt) won't make the slightest bit of difference if you DO give a feck. Even if you believe it as you say it, and do it regularly, the old habitual self-doubting attitude will have a permanent sway over your desired mindset.

Last year I was a bit of an emotional wreck. Extremely self conscious, shy, wouldn't go out in public much. I tried affirmations and all kind of useless mad shyt but it was a waste of time. My mind was in a habit of self doubt that permeated through all of my efforts to change. I didn't realise at the time but I do now. The trigger for that habit was my surroundings. The place I lived, the people I knew. They were all part of this self doubting world and constant reminders of my insecurities. Around 10 months ago I got a new job in a new place and embarked on a quest for a new life. I left behind my family, friends and home.

Away from anyone who knew me I was able to start becoming the person I wanted to be. I began to constantly challenge myself in my job and social life which built on my character. Now, I am happier and more confident than I have ever been.

My point is that if you wanna change your opinion of yourself and how you expect yourself to act, you have to change your whole surroundings and probably the people you interact with regularly. Sorry, it sounds harsh, but it works.

Thoughts, anyone? -Bug

 

[DJmonster]

Look at it this way...

*thought*

That was me thinking something bad about you. Did it hurt? Oh wait, here comes another one *thought*. Scared yet? *thought* Worried? *thought* *thought* Oh man, wait, hold on.. *thought* *thought* *thought* Did I win yet?

Don't even try to be a tough guy. I've got plenty more where that came from.

Take this! *thought*

Bet you didn't see the eye roll coming, did you?
I've got all sorts of moves & combos, man.

ROFL


....yea, if you want to genuinely achiev the 'not give a fvck' attitude, I think you've got to work on your spirituality. I read the book, Power of Now, by Eckart Tolle. It helped me get rid of my ego (my false sense of self). When you realize the person you are has nothing to do with someone else's thoughts, or even your own thoughts, self-conciousness will take on a different meaning. Instead of being uncomfortably conscious of oneself as an object of the observation of others, one will be intensely aware of themselves as a conscious individual that is unaffected by thougths. "You are not your mind." Eckart Tolle

That's right grasshoppa'! Then you are free!

Realizations aren't enough though. Meditation exercises help. I tried meditation for a while. Now, most of the time, when negative thoughts cloud my head (caused by fear), I can turn off my nagging mind (realize the reality of situations - say fvck you to fear and the thoughts it causes), and take action. It's all about 'living in the present moment'.

My overanalyzing mind still clouds my judgement a lot. Working on my spirituality helps me, but when I'm out in the field, I think the basic process I go through is this: 'what if' thoughts pop into head, say to myself 'fvck it', thoughts disappear, proceed accordingly.

 

[DJmonster]

My point is that if you wanna change your opinion of yourself and how you expect yourself to act, you have to change your whole surroundings and probably the people you interact with regularly

??? Maybe....... Your change within yourself occured before you changed your surroundings. You decided to change, and in doing so, your surroudings, and the people you chose to interact with changed.

 

[DJO.V.Dose]

to get an "i dont give a fvck atttitude":

truthfully homie i abused OTC cold medications cuz it made me lose my inhibitions to face girls...i was there talkin to the hottest girl and i realized all that lacked normally was the balls to go up and talk to them...you can do anything once you realize what youre worth...

 

[Ripped]

Originally posted by bugsquish
My point is that if you wanna change your opinion of yourself and how you expect yourself to act, you have to change your whole surroundings and probably the people you interact with regularly. Sorry, it sounds harsh, but it works.

Thoughts, anyone? -Bug

Bump on that. I am more extroverted and talkative than I ever used to be. Between the ages of 15-17 I was shy, kind of depressed, and just bored and disappointed with life. My mind and body has since come forward in leaps and bounds. But every now and again when I go out with the odd person that was "above" me when I was 15 (even though I am now more confident and a better person), I get a "dragged down" feeling, and almost feel reluctant to be myself. So ditching the unneeded baggage does wonders.

 

[duke007]

I've been using the "dont give a fvck" attitude lately, partly due to the frustration of ALWAYS looking for PU opportunities when I walk out my front door.

I've been carrying the mindset that I'm busy, have things to do, and girls are an unneccesary distraction. It's kind of like after you finish masturbating and lose all sexual thought.

One problem though is in being able to transition from "don't give a fvck" which is desirable, to "give a fvck" if you want results.

Here's an example:

I was driving home from a heavy workout at the gym and was extremely hungry and a little fatigued. My right nut was still a little sore from an unfortunate little tennis accident, so picking-up wasn't on my mind - only food.

I pulled into the Subway carpark at the exact moment an HB was leaving and heading towards her car. I pulled into the spot next to hers as it was right in front of the shop. I could notice her looking at me the whole time and she seemed to be taking a while getting into her car.

So as I quickly killed the engine and wound up the window I held some eye contact, until she looked downwards. I got out of the car, locked it, turned my head and said, "Hey," as casually as I'd ever done before. Then without delay I strode towards Subway - my stomach was crying out.

The whole thing was so quick, that once I was a couple of paces away I heard, "Hi, how're you going?" I didn't expect this but I was already half-way to the door and didn't turn back.

My brain only realised too late that this was a golden opportunity that went begging. I was so caught up in my mindset (which she must have noticed), that I was unable to transition when the time came.

So be careful. I'm embarrassed to say that another lost opportunity arose at a club a couple of nights ago because I didn't give a fvck. The approach was even better as was the initial reaction but all for nothing.

Next time I will be more thoroughly prepared for transitions due to experience.

 

[DjDreamer]

Duke007, you should stop jumping from one urge to the next...stop living with extremes. When going to an important meeting, stop to smell the roses however dont cancel the meeting just to smell the roses...

 

[The_Shnitz]

There is some great stuff here, thought id bump it for some more

 

[The_Shnitz]

One more thing to add, once you have no fear and you can confidently approach people, you then need charisma to make them warm to you. whats the best character building activities that you can do?

Anything that builds charisma

 

[DjDreamer]

*bump*

Classic "kill that desperation" topic...