"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Whats the best thing to do after a girl opens you?

loving

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I've been getting more and more women coming up to me and asking me simple questions like "Do you have the time?" when they were just looking at their phone or watch, "Is this X stop/station" when the announcer just said it/its up on the display, "Where are your shoes?" when I clearly have them beside me, etc., Then asking 1 or 2 followup questions if I don't show interest (which I never do, sadly, explained in the next paragraph) before one of us leaves (if we were anyway) or just goes back to minding their business.

So far my performance on this front has been far from up to my expectations, as I mentioned just a sentence ago. My problem is that I feel very awkward when girls take the interview role on me, as its never happened before. It feels like no matter what I do, it will be awkward. I answer their questions with as little info as possible and then instinctively for some reason try to ignore them. I never follow up with anything or do more than my little 10%, and part of the problem is I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do. The possibilities that circle through my head are give her some kind of interest (question back, compliment, you know), or make some random statement to pickup conversation. These both feel awkward to me when I think about them, as if I would be tearing down the momentum of her approaching me by doing either of the two. There has to be a good way to handle it, I just don't know it from experience and would like to learn.

So I ask those of you who have experience with this, whats the best way to respond?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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sodbuster

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Just relax and answer away. Talk normally to her,ask her questions if you feel the need. Why are you anxious about talking to women? So far, you are tearing down the momentum of her advance by not talking; so, how many fewer women will you be dating if you relax and talk?[I mean, how many are you scoring on now? can it get worse?]
 

The Master Disaster

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If you feel the women has potential and you wouldn't mind going out with her, just respond to her with an off the wall response.

Her: "Do you have the time?"
You: I don't believe in time.

I mean it's probably not the best response, but it shows that you're not boring.

Her: Where are your shoes?
You: I prefer flying.

It's a good way to catch her off guard.

That's the best I got for you.
 

Darth

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The Master Disaster said:
If you feel the women has potential and you wouldn't mind going out with her, just respond to her with an off the wall response.

Her: "Do you have the time?"
You: I don't believe in time.
LOL. I wouldn't be able to say this with a straight face.

I have this problem too. It's like, when I make a decision to go after someone, I am good, but when the girl takes charge with the questions and shows blatant interest in me, I am unprepared, and like the OP, I give short answers and almost try not to show any interest.

Which is weird, but it's what happens.
 

The Master Disaster

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Darth said:
LOL. I wouldn't be able to say this with a straight face.

I have this problem too. It's like, when I make a decision to go after someone, I am good, but when the girl takes charge with the questions and shows blatant interest in me, I am unprepared, and like the OP, I give short answers and almost try not to show any interest.

Which is weird, but it's what happens.
That problem most likely stems from a problem with a wrong sense of not being in control, and the only way to cope better is with experience.

You have no control over the dialog, but you have all the power.

I kind of like it when a girl tries to open with me. I have so much more fun. I say off the wall things to keep her on her toes, but I do so with a smile. It's fun, it's new, it's different.

When you approach woman, the woman start off in the mind sent of what's wrong with you. What's a reason why I shouldn't give you my number. What's defective about you.

So, I go with that mind set, and so I have fun.

Her: "What do you do for fun?"
You: "I usually spent Thursday afternoons, punting crippled orphan babies off the top of a building. It's good fun, and it feels great giving back to my community."

Her: "What do you want to do with your life?"
You: "Hmm... I'm debating between a journalist and a super hero with pretty sick powers. I don't know which to do. I might dual major."

Her: "What are you going to do this weekend?"
You: "I'm pretty sure this weekend. I will save the world from certain destruction, but... I don't really have the details yet. I'll tell you all about it on Monday."

The morale of the story is just have fun!
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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KingAaron

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sodbuster said:
Just relax and answer away. Talk normally to her,ask her questions if you feel the need. Why are you anxious about talking to women? So far, you are tearing down the momentum of her advance by not talking; so, how many fewer women will you be dating if you relax and talk?[I mean, how many are you scoring on now? can it get worse?]
"I mean how many are you scoring on now? can it get worse?" This little quote here just changed my whole attitude in .1 of a second.

Girls im scoring on... 0 hmm noo cant get any worse for me =)
Only Better! Much much Better!
 

magickarl

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The Master Disaster said:
Her: Where are your shoes?
You: I prefer flying.
I'm laughing, but at the same time asking myself when I'd be in a position that a random woman would ask me where my shoes are.
 

daygameguy

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If a girl opens you, you can :

1. be ****y funny
2. stay relaxed and act normal (like this always happens to you - girls open you not the other way around)
3. be friendly and start qualifying her directly.


Hope that helps.
 

hondo928

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My favorite line that I've wanted to use forever is from a pepper song "crazy love", the lyric is "She asks me for the time, I reply no thanks, I'm fine". I've never had a girl open with that though :-(
 
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