"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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What's the best exit to preserve interest level?

What is best exit to maximize her interest level?

  • She dumps you and you cry and tell her you'll always love her.

    Votes: 3 33.3%
  • She dumps you but you go NC.

    Votes: 2 22.2%
  • Mutual breakup - you both sit down and discuss that it's just not working.

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • You dump her but she goes NC.

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • You dump her and she cries and begs and promises she'll always love you.

    Votes: 3 33.3%
  • Mutual breakup - passing ships go their separate ways.

    Votes: 1 11.1%

  • Total voters
    9

bigneil

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Disclaimer: Let's not mention the 'S' word anymore.

Think of the women who you could never stop missing. What was it about the ending that made you hold on? How can you create that effect in the women you date when it's time for you to move on?

Note: in the case of Premptive Breakup where one person wasn't dumped officially, since they assumed it was imminent then for the sake of this poll choose B or D.
 
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"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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exile663dfx

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For me none of the above. I think it's a waste of my time. I only see a way out after it hasn't worked the first time, and no looking back. I dont bother doing anything different but moving on to the next. Unless I have tiedowns such as kids I dont really work things out with women, they just get thrown in the EX Recycling Bin. But at least I have the decency to stay their friend (maybe FB's).

But if you're looking for a real way to keep her interested. Show your value (while with her) and do NC, when you get dumped or other way around.
 

loveshogun

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The older I get, the less my ex's opinions and social lives matter to me.

So, I guess my answer is that post breakup, my ex's interest level in me is irrelevant. We broke up for a reason, right?
 

bigneil

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I love when people take the time to waste our time saying we wasted their time.

I tried to add #7 - Other but they don't let you edit polls.

PairPlusRoyalFlush said:
You cheat on her. Far and away the best.
That would qualify as "You dump her and she cries and begs and promises she'll always love you."

loveshogun said:
The older I get, the less my ex's opinions and social lives matter to me. We broke up for a reason, right?
"Breaking up" implies commitment. Why have any commitments? If you never commit, she can remain a potential hookup for years. Almost every woman I ever had good sex with came back later - often 5 to 9 years later, and it's mainly when you whine and cry that you do permanent damage.

Women are like a bobber on the water. Sometimes it's calm and still. Sometimes it's wavy or stormy. Othertimes it gets tugged down below the surface. Some men panic and say "She broke the rules! It's over forever!" But just wait - it will float back up on it's own.
 

loveshogun

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bigneil said:
"Breaking up" implies commitment. Why have any commitments? If you never commit, she can remain a potential hookup for years. Almost every woman I ever had good sex with came back later - often 5 to 9 years later, and it's mainly when you whine and cry that you do permanent damage.
I'm coming in with the reasoning that if a guy wants to leave a woman, regardless of if she's his "girlfriend," or "f*ck buddy," or "Tuesday night special" -whatever you wanna call her - he has to have a reason. Might be a stupid reason, but it's a reason.

And whatever that reason is, if it's big enough to make him want to leave, he probably won't care about her coming back too much.

Which brings me back to my original statement. If you're "leaving" a woman, why do you care about her interest level?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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zekko

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If you're exiting, there's no need to preserve interest level.
Final answer.

But I'll play along:
bigneil said:
Think of the women who you could never stop missing. What was it about the ending that made you hold on?
I think the worse I fvcked up, the better I remember her, lol.
Which is probably a good thing, because that's where the hard earned lessons come from.

And the other factor, I hate to say it, is the better looking they were, the more I remember them. Not that surprising, since that's the main attraction factor with females. Not sure how that would translate to males. How good looking we are? How alpha?
 

bigneil

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Why care about a woman's interest level you are leaving??? Why would you want to pass up the chance to have a hot date in the future who will make the women you are really interested in jealous? The more women who remain in love with you, the better. I used to have parties and would have 3 or 4 of my ex girlfriends/dates (girls who I left) in the same photo, and none knew about the others. You always want to keep them around if you're not hurting for them.

And it's amazing how other forum members are willing to 100% dismiss MY women based on THEIR (fantastical) agenda. Oh, so you wouldn't sleep with a hot 20 year old because she still has a high school boyfriend? Sure you wouldn't, unless she texted you tonight and asked you to. ALL hot women have boyfriends, and to say you have more strict rules about it is absurd. The woman decides about the commitment and she'll dump the other guys when she's too concerned you'll sleep with other women yourself.

And don't forget that a hot woman can have 90% interest in you but drop you for a guy she has 91% interest in (see definition of Fickle) and there's a good chance she'll be back. Doc Love dismisses most all 18-22 women stories as due to their age versus your game.

"A successful seducer does not take rejection personally" (Louis/Copeland).

Men have 3 types of sperm: egg-seeking, wall-building and (foreign) spermicidal. Gee, I wonder how those mechanisms developed if it wasn't both common and natural for women to sleep around?

zekko makes a good point that I meant to outline: what makes men miss women is probably not the same as what makes women miss men.
 
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