what's keeping this girl around?

[ZhaoYun]

I've been dating this one girl for a few months now and things have been great. But, lately I've been feeling her IL drop - or so at least I thought...

The past few times we've gone out she's paid for pretty much everything. She's even been stopping by my job to see me. Last night she went to some party at my school (which I didn't attend since I was at another party.) At the party she grinds with other guys and just has fun with her friends. No problem since I do the same. She told me at the party some guy we both knew told her that I referred to her as a skank a few months ago. Obviously this guy is a hater and I denied ever saying that.

She then asks me "Do I see a future between us?" etc since I graduate soon and she still has at least 2 years left of school since she's taking this semester off. I told her if it's meant to be we can make it work but I don't think she was trying to hear that ..it almost seems like she was softening me up to ditch me so I intervened and said,

"Hey. Let's just call it and be friends."

She then starts crying talking about all of this stuff she's going through and how she wants us to still be together blah blah ..this goes back and forth a few times. After I asked what she wants she says she does want to be together she's just unsure about the future since she wants to finish school here and I want to move away. I told her if it's meant to be it can work. Whether she'd move with me or I get a job that satisfies me around here ..nobody can predict the future.

Anyone see what's going on here? I pretty much gave her a ticket out of the relationship but she won't take it. I'm guessing being at the party gave her a little scent of trying out other d*cks, yet she claims to want to stay together but thinks we'll both be too busy once she starts school again.

 

[magickarl]

You're forgetting the biggest part of the equation: YOU.

Do you want the relationship to continue? Or more accurately, how long do you want to drag it out?

I'm no expert in woman-ese, but her saying that she wants to be with you but doesn't think it will work out once school starts, to me anyway, translates to:

"I know were going to break up after next semester starts, but I want someone to cling on to until that time or until I find something better."

Theres nothing necessarily wrong with that, though. Maybe you want the same thing. But only you can answer that question, if you catch my drift. Me personally? I'd be on the hunt for new tang whichever decision you decide to make.

 

[surfdog]

Yeah what magickarl said..

The one main thing I learnt from this forum that'll stay with me for life is to make yourself the priority.

Ask yourself what you want out of this relationship (or what's left of it), not what she wants.
You did the right thing by offering to be friends. Always do the dumping!

 

[ZhaoYun]

So yeah I pretty much told her we should end it since she wasn't sure how things were going to be once she started school. I also told her I needed a strong woman that will be by my side and I don't think she was ready to step up. Now she's just sending texts saying I'm all she thinks about, she wants to be mine, etc..

I may have to let her chase some just to see how much she wants it. I'd like to stay with her, but I'm not holding my breath over the situation. I'm more than ready if it does end, but would prefer it not to.

 

[ZhaoYun]

Said she made a mistake about wanting to think about it because she can't imagine me finding someone else. I didn't think it was suppose to be this easy.

 

[Igetit!]

So she said that her saying that she wanted to think about things was a mistake. But not because she might lose you,but because you might find someone else. Wow,the ego on her.

 

[ZhaoYun]

that's what I thought too but I don't see how the two cases are any different. She did imply the thought of me not being with her breaks her heart, etc..

I'm probably just going to ride this out while cautiously continue spinning.

 

[DonGorgon]

Anyone see what's going on here? I pretty much gave her a ticket out of the relationship but she won't take it. I'm guessing being at the party gave her a little scent of trying out other d*cks, yet she claims to want to stay together but thinks we'll both be too busy once she starts school again.

She wants all the emotional excitement of dumping you on her terms.. she has tired of the relationship and wants out but also wants to drag it on as female usually do..

You did the right thing by ending it first but then you failed by asking her what she wants...

Tell her that she is great but now is not a good time for you to be with her as you have to much to focus on but you can still be friends and have fun when you have time... That will ensure you can still F her.. BUt be warned she has detached emotionally already so do not act emotional towards her just F and move.

 

[ZhaoYun]

That makes a lot of sense. If she really wanted to be in a relationship she wouldn't have even brought up the idea of "having to think about it" Especially since there wasn't anything worth breaking up over.

Thanks man

 

[ZhaoYun]

I ended things with her and actually felt a little better about it.

But, this girl is relentless. Even tho I ended it she keeps sending me a bunch of texts refusing to give up. I've pretty much been ignoring her, but it seems like she pushes harder. My plan was to use her for sex but if I do that she may get the wrong idea. Anyone have any ways to combat such a relentless girl?

 

[magickarl]

Threaten her with a restraining order.

Just tell her in a FIRM voice that it's over, and there is nothing she can say or do to change your mind. Tell her that you would still like to be friends, but only if she can get it out of her head that there is a chance of you guys hooking back up. If not, tell her you would just assume never talk to her again.