What's it going to take for me to take some initiative?

[Brighty]

I'm completely ****ing fed up with myself now. I am confident, good looking, tall, athletic, but I'm just now getting over my deep-seeded feels of self consciousness and resentment due to my parents' divorce. I'm 18 years old and my last serious girlfriend was in eighth grade. Since then I've had half a dozen flings with random girls and especially this year I've drastically improved physically and mentally. I've got the top popular girls flirting with me and one of them I've been flirting with for about a month or so. Seriously, no questions asked, the hottest junior at our school. She was into me, too. I don't know why I was hesitant to set things up, maybe I felt as though this was too good to be true or that I didnt deserve it because I had been so used to not being able to be even given the time of day by these girls. But **** man. I took so long to make a move that apparently she's with someone now, even though she told me that she was into me but this other guy came off and swept her off her feet (try as I might, I cannot blame her. I had over two months to make a ****ing move but all I did was ask her out, and coincidentally she was grounded that same weekend so, knowing self-conscious me, I took it as a "I dont want to hang out with you" thing even though it wasn't. I was hesitant to ask her out until today where I found out she was with someone).


My God, man. What the hell is it going to take for me to kick my ass to get me to man up and put myself out there? This was a ****ing 10 HB as far as underage girls go (well, I'm 18 shes 17, its not illegal for me) and my indecisiveness ****ed me over. Completely ****ing floored me and ****blocked me AGAIN. Does anyone have any advice? Anyone had to go through this **** of having no ****ing testicles when it comes to escalating things?

Seriously, what's it going to take, me ending up marrying some medicore girl in 30 years that I hate because I havent been in many relationships or me dying alone and unfulfilled? I'm ****ing pissed at myself.

 

[wjh]

Time and time again I feel as if we're our own biggest enemies.

 

[Brighty]

No one? Really?

 

[Michele l'Arcangelo]

DJ Bootcamp, anyone?

 

[loving]

Oh I'm sorry. I read this poost and thought clearly one of the regs would get to tyou before I had time.

Listen man there are only two things you need to remember when it comes to taking action, everything is going to be alright, and the only thing you control is your action.

I would love to explain why to you, if you have given considerable thought to the above concepts and still do not understand. I have found that giving thought to what is right is all that is necessary when what is wrong is identified.

EDIT: Good post Rounder! All points very true except telling the OP to shut up, because it is through his outcries that they are heard.

 

[Rounder]

My opinion - shut up, you're 18. Quit being so dramatic. You have so much time ahead of you - and right now you're saying "oh he's an old man, he doesn't know what he's talking about".

Don't blame your parents divorce or anything else. Take life one day at a time, enjoy each day and don't pass up opportunities - whatever they may be.

Women are human too - they have feelings, self doubts, problems, etc. Be cool, be loose, don't put enormous pressure on every encounter, relationship, etc.

Put the thought of marriage out of your head entirely. You shouldn't even be thinking about that right now. In fact - tell yourself that any girl you meet in the next 6 or 8 years isn't even going to be a consideration for marriage. Don't even start shopping for someone to marry until you are about 28 or so.

The girl who is "with someone" now - ask her out anyway! What do you care if she is with someone, they aren't married, she'll still go out with you....but if you ask her out, just ask once, don't nag her about it and look like a wuss.

BTW - you're 18 and you're talking about a girl who is "grounded". I realize you are still at a time in your life when you have friends who "get in trouble" and get "grounded" - but you need to rise above this crap. You are old enough now to be severely punished by the law if you screw up. Keep your butt out of trouble and pick your friends and associations very carefully.

Start taking responsibility for yourself - in all ways, around the house, school, financially, etc. Lead your life - if you are still living at home, take care of all of your responsibilities before you are asked to by your parents. Become a man.

Learn to manage and control your emotions. This is important - too many people say the first thing they think of in stressful situations, learn not to do that. Don't let other people see you bothered by a situation.

Good luck - chill out about this girl, she's meaningless, in a couple of years you won't even remember her.