What's her deal?

[Remulak]

I've been hooking up with this chick for about a month now, banged her a handful of times. Then all of a sudden we started playing the hot/cold game. Anyway she tells me how much she likes me and leaves little messages and **** on her away messages about me. At the same time she says she's not looking for a B/F or a FB...she says she wants to "chill" because she just got out of a relationship. Does that make sense? I think i might be dealing with an AW here. She has a lot of guy friends, ugly girlfriends except for a couple, very immature and a little shy. She IMs me constantly and all that. I interpret all of this as she wants to pretend that she likes me so I stick around and give her attention. I think im gettin played. Y'all let me know what you think. Is she just testing me to see if i stick around? WHY WOULD A GIRL TELL YOU HOW MUCH SHE LIKES YOU BUT NOT WANNA DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!?!?! CONFUSED

 

[flexion_]

You can only get hurt by this if you let it happen. Either just take the casual sex as it comes or cut contact and move on because thats just not your thing.

She has told you that she doesn't want anything serious so go and date other women and drop her when you find something better.

 

[DJ4Real]

She's not looking for a "boyfriend." Attraction doesn't work on that level. Attraction is subconcious and strictly subconcious. You can't control who you like, that's what makes it a subconcious decision.

When she said she's not looking for a "boyfriend," she could mean "I'm not looking for a boyfriend like you" or she could mean, "I just like the sex, there is no need for a relationship." Me, I'm a firm believer that women are indirect, so I'd say probably she doesn't like you as the commited boyfriend type. She probably thinks that you are an easy f*ck you and leave type of guy. You'll have to do some testing (tests that she won't realize are tests). Be creative about how you investigate.

I think she just wants you around for the sex and she just may be playing you.

 

[scott44]

Do not call her, text, e-mail, whatever, any longer.

Talk to her if she calls, but put her on the back-burner. She does sound like an AW.

Be advised that when you stop giving her all the attention, she will probably go batshyt. You're phone will be ringing off the hook.

Do not make her priority. Do not give compliments. Just give her minimal time and take the sex when you can. If you don't feel like playing games, then I'd suggest cutting all contact altogether.

 

[jhs]

dont underestimate the utter pointlessness of a girls motives. sometimes i see the whole courtship process as some kind of "war". you're trying to get some goal they're trying to stop you from getting. well during my battles with the opposite sex, there are the very rare few i've met that become my friends. i'm not just talking about your normal female friends.. these are the girls that tried to beat me but couldnt, and i tried to beat them but couldn't.. so now we're allies. so lets get something straight.. women want men. men don't care what women want, they want what men want. these allied girls i've met (satanettes i call them) have at least 3 of these kinda guys around at ANY given time. no exagerration. you have to realize that some girls just didn't subscribe to the whole need a boyfriend constantly thing, but they are still horny, and still want MEN. if shes telling you all of this stuff.. go and get what you want. if she doesn't want to give it to you, in the way you want it, try to convince her that its what she wants to do. if shes not up for it,..... NEXT.

Just ask yourself, would you like a manly woman? who told you everything she wanted, made you do it like a little *****? that'd be weird. well girls dont want to have to tell a guy everything to do either.....

if this world is yours, take it!

 

[penkitten]

i think she is afraid that you dont want a real relationship with her and she is just saying what she thinks you want to hear. she would really change her tune and admit she wants a relationship if you acted like you wanted one.

this all boils down to people becoming mature enough to accept their own feelings and stop playing games with each other.

 

[tmpgstx]

She's seeing and/or thinking about getting serious with another guy. She can't hardly sleep around and do the FB thing if she wants him knowing he wants the same - and that is to say some exclusivity.

She also might sense that you want to get serious and she doesn't want you to get serious so she can have her freedom with said guy friends with benefits. It's only been a month, and she may feel the crunch.

 

[jhs]

Originally posted by tmpgstx
She's seeing and/or thinking about getting serious with another guy. She can't hardly sleep around and do the FB thing if she wants him knowing he wants the same - and that is to say some exclusivity.

this is a very good point. i have experienced this... went from FB to not as much to "polygamy" where she told me about the other guy to... "well we should slow down, he doesn't like it" to.. "and he gets pissed that i dont clean the room. god, if i were with you things would be different *reminisces*

run .

 

[bbestar]

tell her she looks fat or ask her to do some exercise routines with you