"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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What's happened to this place??

##17

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I have been away from here for about 7 months...real life--both its good and its challenges--has been keeping me busy. Anyway, I just stuck my head back in.

What the hell happened here? I used to learn so much from this place. Now it looks much different. Instead of the regulars here being further along in their career, their mission as men, their success with women, it seems like there are a lot of guys here who have become very bitter, and who aren't having any success with women.

I'm not knocking anyone going through a tough phase either. I've been through those, and they suck. But at the same time...everyone?

Instead of guys talking about how to approach women, how to succeed with women, how to keep in a quality woman and weed out the rest, all I am seeing are guys writing post after post about how bad women are and how they just are going to screw us over. And I keep reading these field reports about guys hooking up with losers and getting shot down.

We're better than this, right? Right?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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puma183

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Magma said:
There is hardly any quality here anymore. I stop by on occasion, but the mysogynists and KBJ's have soured my taste for the MM forum here at SS.
I agree that misogyny is not only unfair but also counterproductive to the very goals that we are trying to achieve as posters here.

That said, the change in some of the focus areas of MM postings is a natural evolution that was inevitable as members get older. I haven't been a poster here for very long, but have been a frequent reader since 2005/2006. I attribute this change to the fact that mastering "The Dark Art of Scoring Chicks" isn't all that hard in the final analysis. At least it's not hard for those who've been reading this forum and putting its wisdom to use. Once a DJ becomes skilled in that area other topics come up, that now inevitably have to be addressed:

- How to qualify for high quality women, and filter-out/next low quality ones
- How to set and enforce ground rules for successful LTR's; how to end ones which negatively impact your health, wealth, and happiness.
- How to escalate things to eventually having a Family
- How to be a successful family man in a gynocracy that is stacked against men (divorce laws, no-fault/lifetime alimony, lack of shared parenting laws, zero protection against patternity fraud, adultery incentives, government enforced cuckoldry etc).

The last item is of utmost importance the Mature DJ's as most of us start getting ahead with our careers and finances starting in our 30's onwards. Losing it all and starting over becomes less of an option the older we get. This stuff happens as a direct result of "scoring" (fast forward a couple of years) so awareness and self-defence skills for this area of life rightfully fits within the scope of this board. Yes it's a lot less sexier than talking about sarging, number-closes, and f-closes; but it is just as important part of the mating game. If anything a man with no assets remaining and burdened by CS/life-time alimony obligations is just as well already Dead from a Darwinian mating-viability perspective.

Makes sense?
 

darkstarrr

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i think what is happening is that more and more people are reaching out to boards like this because they need help. i can understand how mysogneny seems rampant but i haven't seen too many people generalizing to that extent. a crisis brought me to this board and i realize i have been on of the people who has been sharing some very negative stuff. doing so has helped me to cope. all in all i think that the ones who need help the most are able to learn by sharing their experiences and getting feedback from the more experienced members so we do not repeat the same mistakes. i am grateful for that.
 

KontrollerX

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What happened to this place?

Posters here trying to stop being AFC's still can't handle real talk.

Thats what happened.

They vomit out cries of misogyny or other shaming words to avoid doing critical work within themselves to stop being AFC b!tches.

Everyone always cries for the golden age of this place to return but other than a few good posts here and there by Pook, Diesel and T!ttyman the so called "golden age of Sosuave" was filled with useless pollyannish over optimism, out of place Bible thumping, AFC's making excuses for their many failures and everyone trying to outdo eachother with writing a more elaborate field report.

The reality is the board is fine and anyone that wants to make a change needs to follow Ghandi's time honored words and simply "Be the change they want to see in the world".

Make topics and posts you'd like to see, give back to the community and maybe you'll like the place more.

The alternative is to sit and b!tch and cry for the golden age which I honestly don't think was all that golden.

Thats the thing about nostalgia though.

Looking back the past always seems better than it actually was. :rolleyes:
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

reset

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I'm all about the critical work. For me it's great to come back now because as I scan certain topics, I already know how they are going to end, what they are going to say. It shows me that a newer way is actually ingrained in my mind.

It's a path that never ends but we're all on different points of the journey.

I'm over the "all women are evil" thing that I started with. What I've learned is women are what you allow them to be. If you allow them to treat you like crap, they will. If you allow them to have your time when they treat you right, they'll do that too.

But yeah to agree with Kontroller, there are always threads that say "SS isn't what it used to be", but it's.... ALIVE! Which means it changes along with the posters that come and go.
 

elliottmatthew

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May be it is happens with more peoples to reaching out to board. Because of their needs. I think who needs help they most are able to learn by sharing their experience and they gets suggestions from users.
 

runner83

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KontrollerX said:
What happened to this place?

Posters here trying to stop being AFC's still can't handle real talk.


The reality is the board is fine and anyone that wants to make a change needs to follow Ghandi's time honored words and simply "Be the change they want to see in the world".

Make topics and posts you'd like to see, give back to the community and maybe you'll like the place more.
Exactly!
 

Jitterbug

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Every year (since the beginning of this forum) there's a phase in which a bunch of guys would post threads complaining about the quality of the forum going down. Maybe it has something to do with the Sun and climate change.
 

survivorman

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Well, what if -- and I'm just tossing the idea out there -- what if the situation out there in the field really *has* gotten worse in the last 5 - 6 yrs?

I mean, 5 yrs ago you never heard of some woman smashing out a man's teeth with a golf club, and walking away with $750 MILLION a few months later !?!?

I'm just sayin'..
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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mrRuckus

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Jitterbug said:
Every year (since the beginning of this forum) there's a phase in which a bunch of guys would post threads complaining about the quality of the forum going down. Maybe it has something to do with the Sun and climate change.
That's every message board.
 

Iceberg

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Another post about the "good old days"

I've been here since 2002, as you can see...and there were morons, and whining, and complaining back then too. Along with other posts that simply asked "What happened to the good old days?"

There were no good old days. The male-female dynamic hasn't changed. And neither have the questions or the quality of the responses.
 

Warrior74

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When you come back to places you used to know, you have to realize it's you who has changed, not the place. Even as an adult I still over step the steps into my fathers house, because you see, my mind remembers them from my child hood, as huge stairs. Now they seem so small and tiny. The stairs haven't changed. I have.
 

Neon Owl

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Threads like this really aren't contributing anything positive to the boards now are they? You say this place is full of negative threads and people whining now.....well what the hell is this thread for? Hardly a source of optimism and positivity now is it?

I'm getting tired of these "This place aint what it used to be" posts. If you really feel so strongly about it then LEAVE. Nobody is forcing you to stay here.
 

Kailex

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Guys, this was originally posted:

11-08-2008, 01:33 PM

That newbie, elliotmatthews just decided to re-bump this thread for reasons beyond our comprehension.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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SexyMofo

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Danger said:
Puma and Kontroller for the win.

I game girls often and do well.

I also recognize that the system is setup to hurt me, and that women will take full advantage of that fact. Recognizing it does not make me a misogynist.
Agreed!

Only a fool would play a game that is rigged against him.
 

Zarky

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Danger said:
I also recognize that the system is setup to hurt me, and that women will take full advantage of that fact. Recognizing it does not make me a misogynist.
Deluding yourself that somehow "the system" is out to get you makes you a PARANOID misogynist. ;)

And kudos to the person who bumped this. Shows that in fact the forums have always been populated by losers and probably always will. Which is why I don't post here much anymore. I'd rather listen to podcasts and audio instruction by guys who are intelligent and can teach techniques, such as the Mystery Method series, Neil Strauss, the RSD stuff, David DeAngelo, Ross Jeffries, R. Don Steele, NLP instruction, etc. Savoy is incredibly brilliant and gives more useful information in 15 minutes than is posted to these boards in a year.

The sad fact is that, although the internet has democratized communications, the vast majority of people in this world have nothing of interest to say. To sit around weeding through all the BS to find a tiny nugget of good information is soul-draining.

To me, getting advice from an internet forum on any subject--from seduction to nutrition to technology to raising fish--is like asking a room full of random people to teach each other quantum physics. 99% of the people have no idea what they're talking about and asking them to share their inane opinions is not only unhelpful but dangerous.

When everyone's voice has equal weight, learning comes to a standstill.
 

Bluntmaster

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Nothing happened to this place you fa@@ots... The only thing that happened is to you idiots bumping up 2 year old threads.
 

Zarky

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Danger said:
What I find the funniest is that it often takes men to go through the system to realize that they are only valued as a wallet with legs.

It's a tragedy that so many have to suffer through it to see how few rights they really have.
That's a pretty silly statement. In law school I interned for a family law firm. I saw lots of divorces and custody battles. I mean maybe in your state or country the men get raked over, but where I am it's pretty even. If you're stupid, yeah, then you can get screwed. But I've seen just as many women get screwed as men.
 

Zarky

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Danger said:
In the US, It would only be silly to a person who is a misandrist or in the legion of white-knight douchebaggery.
Yeah 'cause that totally describes me.

In my experience, I have seen plenty of men get raped by the system in NY. Somehow I bet that California is not any different.
I can't wait to hear about your extensive experience, my 30 year old friend.

What metric exactly are you measuring to determine what is "even"? You really suggest that men are not considered "wallets" to family courts?
Here's a wakeup call for you, pal. In my decade as a lawyer I've realized that ALL COURTS consider EVERYONE to be "wallets." The family court has, at the very bottom, only one desire: to make sure the state doesn't pay for dumbass's kids. That's it. I'll repeat that one. The court has one goal, and that's to make sure that the government finds someone other than itself to pay for all the expensive children running around. It doesn't care who, or how. If you have any money and can in any way be connected to a child, the court will try to make you pay for the child. It doesn't care if you're a man, a woman, or a horse. If you have money, and can be in any way legally connected to any kid crapping his pants anywhere in the country, the court will hunt you down and try to wring as much money from you as possible.

That's the system, my boy. Deal with it.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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