What's going on?

[DubstepGuy]

Hey, i'm james. Here's the deal.

There's a girl that i have lived next to for about a year, i didn't know until about three weeks ago. She added me on facebook, i played it smooth and told her that i liked going out for walks late at night (it was 3 am) and i said "you should come with me". She agreed and she brought her dog, it got bored so she put it inside. We were talking about stuff that we liked, and stuff that had happened around the area, she had short shorts on so she got a blanket and we both got in it. We ended up staying out until 6:30 am and all the time she had a guy friend asleep on her sofa :crackup: I ended the chat asking for a hug, she did and we both went back home.

The next day, i asked her if she wanted to come out to a local park at around 8 pm, She agreed and i went around to her house. She had a friend there and i met her family, i was friendly and talkative (i think they liked me)
Then we walked to shops, the park etc... Then at about 11 pm the three of us went back to her house and we watched some movies (schindler's list cause there was nothing on, then marmaduke, cause it made her sad). By the time Schindler's list had finished, her friend was asleep on the other sofa so i moved up to her and She leaned her head on my shoulder, then i said your hands are small (i wanted to hold her hand) surprisingly, she interlocked her fingers first and i smiled. Then after the movies were finished, i had to go home (it was around 3:20 am) and i gave her a hug, i also said "i want a kiss too" so she gave me a kiss on the lips and another hug, then i left.

The thing is, after that, she stopped talking to me as much and i've only seen her about twice since that night. She sometimes answers in short sentences on facebook and has ignored me a few times when i ask her to come out.

What's up with her? maybe it was something i did? either way, i'd like some advice on getting her attention/Making her try to get me.

Thanks and sorry for the massive wall of text

-James

 

[LearningSlowly]

Just lay off a little. Go hang with some other friends for a while. She can tell she's the only girl you're interested in right now.

 

[Jack Wealthy]

Yeah, if you had loads of girls you would have gone for her quicker. Speed is essential when you're macking up. Except sex. Do that slow.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Stop being afraid to escalate. Don't ask for a kiss; kiss her.

 

[DubstepGuy]

Thanks for the advice guys. I gave her a few band posters last night cause i didn't need them, She said she'd meet me to get them but i ended up posting them through her door cause she was depressed. She told me that she'd come out soon for a talk and stuff so what would be my best move? thanks

 

[Jack Wealthy]

Hold her hands immediately (without an excuse), stand really close face to face, then kiss her. The first two steps make the third more comfortable. Just talk casually before that, don't foreshadow what you are about to do with any bs.

 

[LearningSlowly]

Thanks for the advice guys. I gave her a few band posters last night cause i didn't need them, She said she'd meet me to get them but i ended up posting them through her door cause she was depressed. She told me that she'd come out soon for a talk and stuff so what would be my best move? thanks

You post about this problem, I tell you to lay off, then the very next night you give her band posters. You aren't good at following advice.

Jack is right. It's obvious you want a relationship here, do relationship-stuff.

 

[DubstepGuy]

@Jack Wealthy Cheers, i'll try that

@LS Thanks, i see your point but i haven't spoken to or seen her in atleast 3 days so i thought it wouldn't do any harm

Edit: She hasn't got back to me when she would come out yet, so i'll wait for a few days and if she flakes then i'm not sure what to do

 

[DubstepGuy]

Okay, so i found out why she's been a bit distant... She's with anoher guy but i went over to her house yesterday cause she asked me to, and he was being really needy to her over facebook and she was saying mean stuff about him + too him on the chat. So i'm not sure what i should do :s

 

[LearningSlowly]

Get another girl so you're even with her.

You're probably just as needy as he is, she's stringing both of you along. Start being distant, she'll eventually ask why, say "I'm not into being your second guy. That's alright though, you can be in my friend zone if you want to keep seeing him."
She'll say some long thing, it'll be stupid and dramatic. Basically ignore all the bull**** and set up a date, but suggest that you'll just be friends.

On the date, touch her lots, then have a passionate make out. She might make some joke about being in your friend zone. Just shrug it off and keep going.

And then go back to being distant. You'll be more interesting than this other guy because you're willing to leave her and he isn't.

 

[DubstepGuy]

Thanks LS, although I'm definitely not as needy as him and by the way she was talking about him to me, it was clear she doesn't want to be with him. i was thinking of making a move before she broke up with him so i can get her because from the messages he was sending, he sounded kinda creepy so i don't think she'd hesitate to get away from him.

Edit: yesterday i posted a status on facebook about what my perfect girl would be, a few other girls liked it and i guess it made her jealous because she was talking to me on chat and she said "you upset me xx " maybe it was a successful push + pull?

 

[LearningSlowly]

You're talking like a needy guy.

Do what I said. Until she ACTUALLY leaves him, instead of talking about it, be distant. That means don't chat/text her for a while.

 

[DubstepGuy]

Okay, thanks for the advice

 

[Pozitron]

**** that. Just ignore the guy and do your own thing with her.
I used to get jealous of many things and sad about it, but once you do your stuff and make your moves and focus on her, not them.. things will go forward with this girl ( hopefully) and they will back off (him).

 

[LearningSlowly]

**** that. Just ignore the guy and do your own thing with her.
I used to get jealous of many things and sad about it, but once you do your stuff and make your moves and focus on her, not them.. things will go forward with this girl ( hopefully) and they will back off (him).

He's right, but this needs to happen in person, not over text. This made me re-emphasize the need to make another date. You need to make an actual, in-person move before he does. So go soon!

Good luck man, I look forward to an update.

 

[DubstepGuy]

Haha, thanks guys, i'm going ot with her soon so i'll tell you how it goes

 

[DubstepGuy]

Okay, i'm not gonna count this instance.. Mainly cause she asked me to come over to hers, there was another guy there and her little brother so i couldn't do anything. especially at 2am and her parents didn't know i was there, and when her mum woke up, i had to hide in the garden.. which failed miserably, her mum saw me and thought i was a theif, hopefully she didn't realise it was me :s

If the connection grows cold, i'm going to start my PU game, hopefully going to chat to a few girls next week seeing as though i'm new to this.