"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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What's "girlfriend material" to you?

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I keep hearing guys on here say about women they're dating or f**king that "She isn't girlfriend material." I'm curious to get as many answers as possible as to what it would take for you guys to be happily exclusive and actually respect the woman and be completely satisfied.

Note: As someone said in another thread, something you didn't think you wouldn't like in a woman might attract you so nothing is absolute or written in stone. That being said, everyone has an idea of the type of woman that would tickle their funny bones.

For me here's what it would take outside of meeting a certain physical appearance standard:

1.)Most important, agreeable yet having her own beliefs and opinions. Someone you can have a conversation with and not realize you've been talking to them for hours. You might agree on some things, but she brings her own perspective as well.

2.)Not a flirt whatsoever. If she has any guy friends, they are just genuine friends and not guys that are around her to try to get in her pants. I guess I can also add to this "not an attention wh*re." You might say all women are, but I'm talking relationship material not a HB9 that you want to f***.

3.)Kind of ties into the same thing. Doesn't club or party whatsoever. If she drinks, it's a glass of wine or a beer or a b*tch drink when you go out to eat or on the weekends. She doesn't get hammered as a hobby.

4.)Shows genuine interest in me and my interests as well as me showing genuine interest in hers. It's not important for me that she likes the same music or TV shows as much as she's open to trying out new things.

5.)Cares about fashion as much as I do, which is about a 7/8 on the 10 scale. I go shopping once every couple months, but I'm not an over-dresser. I go to places like Express, Kohl's, TjMaxx, Marshalls, GAP. If I want a suit, I'll go to a higher end place, but for my everyday wear I'm "dress casual" - think someone like Derek Jeter. If she's the type that shops twice a week and wears intentionally ripped 100 dollar jeans and cleavage tops and too much makeup, it isn't going to work.

6.)And this should be higher up on the list, has a sense of humor. If she doesn't cut jokes, she's appreciative of humor.

I can think of more, but these are the basics. I'm curious if anyone has anything to add or subtract to the list.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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shaunuk

Master Don Juan
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that just sounds like a fairly cool girl man, but..
3.)Kind of ties into the same thing. Doesn't club or party whatsoever. If she drinks, it's a glass of wine or a beer or a b*tch drink when you go out to eat or on the weekends. She doesn't get hammered as a hobby.
You're expecting FAR too much here? Don't you go out and deliberately get drunk? To me, life without partying and drinking is pretty boring sh*t, that's probably the case for her as well (although, I don't know how old you are and your target age range in a girl)..

You from the States? There seems to be more of a drinking (read: binge) culture in the UK but it's now accepted as normal
 
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From the states, and people drink here but I don't. I don't judge people that do, I have friends that do. But for something to work long-term as in a year or more with me not having wandering eyes, she'd have to not get drunk often if at all. I'm the kind of guy that orders an occasional beer or ****tail when I'm out to eat or at a bar, but I've been drunk and had lots of bad, near-death experiences and the ones that weren't near-death were humiliating where I said things to my friends I couldn't take back.

Also I'm 25 so that's another thing for this girl to be LTR material she'd have to be in the 23-33 range. I'll f*ck or hang out with a college aged 20-22 girl but for it to work I want her to be in the same place in life as myself.
 

crazymedstudent

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While I commend you for knowing exactly what you think you want and writing it down...

I think inevitably, with anyone you are with, there are going to be things that annoy you about the other person.

That being said, my philosophy is simple. If I find her attractive, pursue and start dating.

From there, if she A) messes up or B) I get bored/annoyed with her then I move on.

I think making "rules" as to whom you should be attracted to in a girlfriend is entirely irrelevant since your little man makes decisions sometimes that the brain might not necessarily agree with.

I've dated some girls who I thought weren't exactly my type but turned out to be loads of fun for a while.

I don't think you should limit yourself to your "ideals" and instead just go out and have fun. The rest will eventually fall into place. If you find yourself fully happy and satisfied dating them after a while then maybe you'll escalate it to a LTR.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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The thing is I'm an introvert. I'm not shy and I'm talkative but my lifestyle wouldn't match the life of a really hot girl. A lot of guys on here do party and because of that can match up with the 9 but I need a low-maintenance woman in a relationship. I'm the kind of guy that spends 5 days a week at home (I work from home) then go out an occasional weekend night with a friend and spend the weekend days out of the house. I'm not a complete hermit or loner but I can watch a movie or surf the net after work and feel fine.
 
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