You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
I feel like I've become this. I'm 20 and I look at all my friends all they do is Smoke pot and drink and I've chosen not to join them. However, by not joining them, I am alone. I do everything alone and if I didn't have a girlfriend I'd really have nothing at all. Only once in awhile can I pull 1 of them away from their couch potato lifestyle and get them to go to the beach with me, go jogging, or something fun. I really find my way into becoming a workaholic, I find at my job is the only time I'm really that happy, feeling like at least I'm improving this number of money I have in the bank. Yay for accomplishing something.Rhoto said:Average – More than simply being common, a male who feels that he isn’t unique or exceptional in any way creates his own pessimism and thus failures. He accepts for fact that his control of his life is minimal, if it exists at all. “Just be yourself” or “Go with the flow” are the kinds of themes he lives by. He lacks passion/mojo/funk or whatever you want to call it, he lacks it. Fear of failure is the primary concern for these types of males. They don’t realize their own value and therefore are unable to project it unto the world. This mind set leads to……
Frustrated – An unfulfilled expectation breeds frustration. The perpetuation of this frustration occurs when the individual places blame on external factors. These factors range in severity and condition, but are still one thing. Yup, the social Matrix. Frustration, one of the most destructive emotions and often it is able to ravage a psyche unchecked. The feelings of frustration are caused by feeling powerless. This frustration can breed resentment in a male because he feels the contradictions in society’s expectations and rules. After enough frustration and feeling powerless the man then becomes a …..
Chump – 95% of men today are chumps. They exist, in this instant angry at the world, feeling victimized. At this point, the individual either continues to act as a social construct, fulfilling the needs and whims of women, or the collective regardless of the cost, in the pursuit of approval in one form or another. These men may be successful by standard measure in other aspects of their lives, but they still fail to fulfill their biological function, which in their eyes takes precedence over all. Whatever their lives might be lacking, they seek to fill with all kinds of things, from games and sports to drugs and alcohol. The individual is not in control of his live, and he has entered this state willfully.
My .02
Start living the life you want to live and doing the things you want to do...and you will meet new people and make new friends. You do leave people behind in life. you outgrow them. It doesn't mean you don't care about them but you can't dwell in a place that doesn't fit what you want and not become influenced by it. Drop those old friends. make new ones.guywhoneedshelp said:I feel like I've become this. I'm 20 and I look at all my friends all they do is Smoke pot and drink and I've chosen not to join them. However, by not joining them, I am alone. I do everything alone and if I didn't have a girlfriend I'd really have nothing at all. Only once in awhile can I pull 1 of them away from their couch potato lifestyle and get them to go to the beach with me, go jogging, or something fun. I really find my way into becoming a workaholic, I find at my job is the only time I'm really that happy, feeling like at least I'm improving this number of money I have in the bank. Yay for accomplishing something.
Get some new friends then. Jogging on the beach is a great spot. I've met so much people there. While you jog or are resting just talk to some other people doing the same thing as you.guywhoneedshelp said:I feel like I've become this. I'm 20 and I look at all my friends all they do is Smoke pot and drink and I've chosen not to join them. However, by not joining them, I am alone. I do everything alone and if I didn't have a girlfriend I'd really have nothing at all. Only once in awhile can I pull 1 of them away from their couch potato lifestyle and get them to go to the beach with me, go jogging, or something fun. I really find my way into becoming a workaholic, I find at my job is the only time I'm really that happy, feeling like at least I'm improving this number of money I have in the bank. Yay for accomplishing something.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
So true. I'm outgoing as hell, it just seems like I'm the youngest (Age 20) all the time when I'm jogging the beach, the boardwalk, rollerblading, biking, etc. Weird because growing up most of my neighborhood friends were a year younger then me so I was always the older guy.Triple T said:Get some new friends then. Jogging on the beach is a great spot. I've met so much people there. While you jog or are resting just talk to some other people doing the same thing as you.
Like if you see someone just stopping to rest and their panting or whatever:
"wooooh, haha you look tired"
"haha, you think?"
You know stuff like that, thats how I start off most of my conversations. And I usually see the same people the next day, and I make friends with them. We go out for a slurpee or a quick refreshing drink. etc. etc.
Its all about being outgoing.