Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
I feel like I've become this. I'm 20 and I look at all my friends all they do is Smoke pot and drink and I've chosen not to join them. However, by not joining them, I am alone. I do everything alone and if I didn't have a girlfriend I'd really have nothing at all. Only once in awhile can I pull 1 of them away from their couch potato lifestyle and get them to go to the beach with me, go jogging, or something fun. I really find my way into becoming a workaholic, I find at my job is the only time I'm really that happy, feeling like at least I'm improving this number of money I have in the bank. Yay for accomplishing something.Rhoto said:Average – More than simply being common, a male who feels that he isn’t unique or exceptional in any way creates his own pessimism and thus failures. He accepts for fact that his control of his life is minimal, if it exists at all. “Just be yourself” or “Go with the flow” are the kinds of themes he lives by. He lacks passion/mojo/funk or whatever you want to call it, he lacks it. Fear of failure is the primary concern for these types of males. They don’t realize their own value and therefore are unable to project it unto the world. This mind set leads to……
Frustrated – An unfulfilled expectation breeds frustration. The perpetuation of this frustration occurs when the individual places blame on external factors. These factors range in severity and condition, but are still one thing. Yup, the social Matrix. Frustration, one of the most destructive emotions and often it is able to ravage a psyche unchecked. The feelings of frustration are caused by feeling powerless. This frustration can breed resentment in a male because he feels the contradictions in society’s expectations and rules. After enough frustration and feeling powerless the man then becomes a …..
Chump – 95% of men today are chumps. They exist, in this instant angry at the world, feeling victimized. At this point, the individual either continues to act as a social construct, fulfilling the needs and whims of women, or the collective regardless of the cost, in the pursuit of approval in one form or another. These men may be successful by standard measure in other aspects of their lives, but they still fail to fulfill their biological function, which in their eyes takes precedence over all. Whatever their lives might be lacking, they seek to fill with all kinds of things, from games and sports to drugs and alcohol. The individual is not in control of his live, and he has entered this state willfully.
My .02
Start living the life you want to live and doing the things you want to do...and you will meet new people and make new friends. You do leave people behind in life. you outgrow them. It doesn't mean you don't care about them but you can't dwell in a place that doesn't fit what you want and not become influenced by it. Drop those old friends. make new ones.guywhoneedshelp said:I feel like I've become this. I'm 20 and I look at all my friends all they do is Smoke pot and drink and I've chosen not to join them. However, by not joining them, I am alone. I do everything alone and if I didn't have a girlfriend I'd really have nothing at all. Only once in awhile can I pull 1 of them away from their couch potato lifestyle and get them to go to the beach with me, go jogging, or something fun. I really find my way into becoming a workaholic, I find at my job is the only time I'm really that happy, feeling like at least I'm improving this number of money I have in the bank. Yay for accomplishing something.
Get some new friends then. Jogging on the beach is a great spot. I've met so much people there. While you jog or are resting just talk to some other people doing the same thing as you.guywhoneedshelp said:I feel like I've become this. I'm 20 and I look at all my friends all they do is Smoke pot and drink and I've chosen not to join them. However, by not joining them, I am alone. I do everything alone and if I didn't have a girlfriend I'd really have nothing at all. Only once in awhile can I pull 1 of them away from their couch potato lifestyle and get them to go to the beach with me, go jogging, or something fun. I really find my way into becoming a workaholic, I find at my job is the only time I'm really that happy, feeling like at least I'm improving this number of money I have in the bank. Yay for accomplishing something.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
So true. I'm outgoing as hell, it just seems like I'm the youngest (Age 20) all the time when I'm jogging the beach, the boardwalk, rollerblading, biking, etc. Weird because growing up most of my neighborhood friends were a year younger then me so I was always the older guy.Triple T said:Get some new friends then. Jogging on the beach is a great spot. I've met so much people there. While you jog or are resting just talk to some other people doing the same thing as you.
Like if you see someone just stopping to rest and their panting or whatever:
"wooooh, haha you look tired"
"haha, you think?"
You know stuff like that, thats how I start off most of my conversations. And I usually see the same people the next day, and I make friends with them. We go out for a slurpee or a quick refreshing drink. etc. etc.
Its all about being outgoing.