"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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What's a kiss supposed to feel like?

B

Boxer

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I'm sorry to admit but I just had my first kiss at age 17 with a 15 year old girl. I went in for the kiss and it just felt so sloppy and out of rhythm maybe that had something to do with it. But in general it felt like I was kissing a blow up doll. I did not experience "fireworks" like some people described. In fact I kept my eyes open for majority of the kiss. She acted like it was the best thing in the world. When I pulled off for a moment for breathing she was like "mmmmhmhmmm I don't want to go yet hehehe" (she had to leave) and I was like "nahh you have to go" and just left.


Are the words fireworks used to strongly for how a kiss really feels like or is this just a girl that needs to be next? Will they feel better once we get better at it? I just thought my first kiss would be a awesome feeling.
 

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Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

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C

CuriousGirl

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Well I think you'd get 'fireworks' if you had been long anticipating the kiss or you're really into the person, or you're horny.
If I really really fancied a guy and it was our first kiss then there would be 'fireworks'...the same kind of excitement/rush you get on a rollercoaster. In other cases the kissing might just be getting me more and more horny. Kisses aren't meant to feel sloppy, you'd think that you can't really go wrong with kissing but you can and you realise this when you kiss someone who's really bad and someone who's really good. Did you want to know what a good kiss feels like in terms of technique or just feelings?
 
B

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Just terms of feeling. However if you want to describe the technique to me feel free. All though I think that I did a good job in terms of technique (I kissed one lip and changed lip or side when I was supposed to and gave a tiny bit of tongue action.) I just screwed up in terms of missing her mouth once and just maybe driving my lips to far into hers as I felt her teeth a few times.
 
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sageproduct

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Lol I had my first kiss too this school year at age 17...would definitely agree with you that it seemed like nothing special at all, a bit "sloppy" if anything, while the girl acted like it was the best thing ever. Maybe it was just cuz I didn't particularly like her that much
 
R

Reckoning

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It depends on whether you have a crush on the girl. My first kiss happened when I was drunk (around 6 on the scale from 1-10, 1 being tipsy and 10 lying on the ground unable to get up), and I was in love with the girl. She was a pretty good kisser. Holy fvck, it felt so awesome, I regret being drunk actually. I think I would've gotten a heart attack.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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B

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sageproduct said:
Lol I had my first kiss too this school year at age 17...would definitely agree with you that it seemed like nothing special at all, a bit "sloppy" if anything, while the girl acted like it was the best thing ever. Maybe it was just cuz I didn't particularly like her that much
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Were you really pissed off like I was after the kiss? I was walking home shouting out random cuss words and had a "I'm about to kill someone" face on. I mean I waited so long for something that was supposed to be so special and honestly it was nothing to me. I should of done this back when I was 14. Or at least not wait 2 months to do it to this girl. What really pissed me off is that I'm probably one of the 50 guys that she has kissed in her life and she is so much younger then me while I was just experiencing my first one.

If she asks me I'm telling her I've like made out with half of my school.
 
B

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^above

I'm pretty sure it's supposed to be me that initiates kiss with her.
 
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sageproduct

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Boxer said:
Were you really pissed off like I was after the kiss? I was walking home shouting out random cuss words and had a "I'm about to kill someone" face on. I mean I waited so long for something that was supposed to be so special and honestly it was nothing to me. I should of done this back when I was 14. Or at least not wait 2 months to do it to this girl. What really pissed me off is that I'm probably one of the 50 guys that she has kissed in her life and she is so much younger then me while I was just experiencing my first one.

If she asks me I'm telling her I've like made out with half of my school.
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LOL actually dude, I was really pissed off exactly 2 days before my first kiss. I had hugged her, then started to move in for the kiss, then at the LAST MOMENT pussed out and hugged her again!!!! Lol I felt like the stupidest little sh1t ever after that. Not because I even liked her, but just cuz I pussed out.

...She was pretty desperate so I got a second chance.

Pissed off after my first kiss, not really...just kind of indifferent. If anything, I was thinking "fwcking finally".
 

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You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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