"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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What's a good Birthday present for a girl you like?

sethosayher

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Okay, let me give you some background....

She's a casual friend that, only a few weeks ago, I've asked to hang out with me. Before that, our only contact with each other has been the few classes we share - we usually joke around and enjoy each other's company, stuff like that. Anyway, I ask her to hang out with me, and she says yes - now, the story gets a bit more complicated here, but basically I made the mistake of telling a few people that I liked her and that I eventually wanted to ask her out - and she found out...but surprisingly, was okay with it, at least with the idea of hanging out casually and seeing if it develops into something. We've hung out a bit on a couple occasions, and its pretty fun...but being that its my first time doing anything like this, I have no idea what to do (the guides here really help though)...I've decided to ask her out by the end of the month, probably a lot sooner, because I really like this girl, and not just in a physically sense - I really enjoy being with her.

Err...sorry for that somewhat incoherent drivel...but anyway, her b-day is this week (this friday, the 23rd) and I've been wracking my head as to what I should get her....or if I should get her anything at all! I don't want to do too much...or too little. I want something that will leave a good impression, a good memory, that'll increase my chances of success with her. Here's some background info on the girl herself:

+ She's unique, a lot different from the usual high school girl - or at least the stereotypical girly-girl we all know and love
+ She loves Nirvana (Kurt Cobain in particular), and a lot of classic rock bands like Black Sabbath, ACDC, etc
+ She's political, she opposes the Bush administration and is generally Liberal. She's passionate about this stuff
+ She's into yoga (does it daily), acupuncture, meditation, spiritual/eastern stuff like that
+ Is a bit of a movie buff (She loves the Godfather, and watches a ton of classic films)
+ LOVES the T.V. show the Office (American Version), and I mean LOVES - She's obsessed with the show

Anyway...I don't know what to get her. I don't want to do too little...or do too much...I mean, I've only become a closer friend of her's in the past few weeks, so I feel if I spend too much, she'll freak...

I've asked some people, and I've gotten some recommendations to keep whatever I get around 10$, to buy her candy with a ribbon, to get a cute cupcake with a candle in it, to avoid getting a card because its too sentimental, to buy a book she'd like, etc...What do you guys think?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

sethosayher

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Should I be as brazen as that, as openly romantic as that? Giving a dozen romantic roses sounds great...but am I at a stage with her where thats appropriate? People have raised objections to the idea of me simply getting her a card - I've been told its too sentimental, that it too heavy for this stage.

As for the book, I'll check it out...I don't think it's her type of humor, but maybe...
 

The Shocker

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Don't give her anything. And btw, she sounds like a great girl...likes The Godfather AND The Office? She could be a keeper.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Rock_Solid

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Kev07 said:
didn't read your post, but i give
I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell - by Tucker Max (the book)

it's cheap (14 bucks) hilarious, and definetely worth the read.

That book is by far the funniest book i have ever read, i've read the whole thing through at least 5 times.

Edit: Oh and to answer your question, DON'T...DON'T give her a dozen roses, that just screams so many AFC things and is just so unoriginal.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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sethosayher

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XD, giving her the Ann Coulter book sounds hilarious. I think she'd get a real kick from that. But is it too much? Maybe if I buy a used copy, it won't look like I spent a ton of money, which if I did I'm sure would freak her out.

Mix CD also sounds good, but like Luke!! said, it sounds kinda more sweet then romantic, you know what I mean?

The sex coupon sounds pretty funny...but are you sure it'll go over well? Our conversations have not been really that sexual...I'll change this is due time, I'm sure, but yeah...

Remember, I don't want to go overboard. This is still very, very early in the relationship (if you can even call it a relationship)...also, her birthday is this friday, so keep that time restraint in mind.
 

The Shocker

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A joke gift like the sex coupon would be best. It doesn't scare her off with anything too serious, and can always be played off as a funny joke. Plus, it makes her think of you sexually.
 

The Shocker

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Charm&Style said:
you mean 3 fingers.


2 in the pink, 1 in the stink.
Nice to see the love.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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girl_in_a_boy_forum

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Luke!! said:
I can tell you are a girl in a boy forum, a mix cd is something that would be cute. You would get a response like "Awwww, How sweet of you" You don't want that though, I know you don't. Thats why you need a gift that will take you to the realm of getting laid and not being a friend.
My best guy friend made me a mixed CD for Christmas. That's when I decided to ask him out. But every girl is different.
 

The Shocker

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No mixtapes.
 

AustinG

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if you were true pua she would be getting you presents when its her birthday :rockon:
 

i am me

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i got the same question but its for this girl whos more girly...shes a cheerleader but shes pretty smart too (booksmart at least...shes a lil airheaded). anyways, its her 18th birthday and shes havin a big party. were not together or anything but theres a lil sexual tension there...any ideas?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

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