Met this new girl the other day. Really cute, blond, probably a solid hb8. Anyways, we get talking a bit and she mentions that she just got out of a relationship recently and is only looking for new friendships. Now this wasn't a LJBF thing (unless she's being real proactive about it, lol). But how would you have handled it? I just said "Always good to make new friends" and moved on with our convo.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
What would you guys do with a girl that only wants friends?
- Thread starter Kal0051
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Maxtro
Master Don Juan
You handled it fine.
From now on pretend that she never said that. When you are with her you should escalate, escalate, escalate. If you don't somebody else will.
From now on pretend that she never said that. When you are with her you should escalate, escalate, escalate. If you don't somebody else will.
Igetit!
Moderator
Couple of questions. First...Kal0051 said:Met this new girl the other day. Really cute, blond, probably a solid hb8. Anyways, we get talking a bit and she mentions that she just got out of a relationship recently and is only looking for new friendships.
How long had you known this girl before this "only looking for friendships" conversation came up? Also,how did the subject of her looking for friendships only even come up in the first place?
Did you ever ask her out?
Yes it is. If she were really,really attracted to a guy,if she were really turned on by him,you think she'd be telling him about her "looking for friendships"?Kal0051 said:Now this wasn't a LJBF thing
It really depends on how this whole "friendship" thing even came up. She wouldn't have just out of the blue,for absolutely no reason at all said this. If I went to a restaurant,walked up to the counter,and told the woman what I wanted to order,she's going to talk to me about the food I ordered. She's not going to out of the blue say,"Well,I'm not really looking to date right now. I'm just looking for friends". Something you said to her caused her to respond with that "friendship" remark.Kal0051 said:But how would you have handled it?
You went along with what she said about the looking for friends thing,which means she had the stronger frame.I just said "Always good to make new friends" and moved on with our convo.
If she had said that to me,I would have said something like,"That's cool. I'm sure you won't have any problems finding friends. So what's up with me and you? I want to see you".
This way,you'll steal the frame back.
Instead of you going along with her "friendship" frame,you would have forced her to see you as a possible romantic interest in your frame
KontrollerX
Master Don Juan
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- Oct 11, 2005
- Messages
- 4,476
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Yep.Maxtro said:You handled it fine.
From now on pretend that she never said that. When you are with her you should escalate, escalate, escalate. If you don't somebody else will.
Then if she freezes you out once you try to kiss her you do what is most feared on the Sosuave board...
Its called a takeaway where you take yourself completely out of her life and let her come crawling to you if she wants you in it.
Until she says what you want to hear you and she are then done as far as you're concerned.
If you can't handle doing that the only thing you'll be fvcking is your hand while she rides a true stud's c0ck.
Amen to this! you can turn it around and bone her!Maxtro said:You handled it fine.
From now on pretend that she never said that. When you are with her you should escalate, escalate, escalate. If you don't somebody else will.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Kevin Feng
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 6, 2008
- Messages
- 258
- Reaction score
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I just saw a question similar to this posted earlier: this is what I said
"
I see this question all the time on the forums and honestly, I'd have to say this is a symptom more-so of too much micro-managing and not enough macro-management. In other words you're spending too much time, brain power, and emotions on one girl and it's driving you absolutely insane.
It's as if you invested all your money into one stock, when it moves up, you feel free, when it moves down, you feel like absolute sh*t.
Same principle applies to pick up, instead of focusing on one girl, you need to be actively pursing say 4-5. It's a little difficult when you start out, but if you consistently go out at least twice a week (as a good PUA should be), you should have enough phone numbers to keep you occupied. Plus, you won't be stressing out over one girl and WORRYING about being needy, because you genuinely won't be, you will ACTUALLY have other girls your working on.
I'm not a giant fan of the "fake it till you make it" approach, just be genuine and congruent with what you're doing"
Anyway, I understand the feeling, but in summation, you're trying to be in control of a situation that is NOT entirely in your control. You need to make a decision here and just stick to it and move on and actively game other women. Do you make the jump and risk the friendship being wierd, or do you stay in the friend zone and maybe she has a change of heart? Only you have the information and intuition to make that call, but make the decision and don't worry/fret over it anymore.
But as far as phone or text game goes with here, follow these rules.
http://theasianplayboy.blogspot.com/2006/01/importance-of-rotations-phone-game.html
"
I see this question all the time on the forums and honestly, I'd have to say this is a symptom more-so of too much micro-managing and not enough macro-management. In other words you're spending too much time, brain power, and emotions on one girl and it's driving you absolutely insane.
It's as if you invested all your money into one stock, when it moves up, you feel free, when it moves down, you feel like absolute sh*t.
Same principle applies to pick up, instead of focusing on one girl, you need to be actively pursing say 4-5. It's a little difficult when you start out, but if you consistently go out at least twice a week (as a good PUA should be), you should have enough phone numbers to keep you occupied. Plus, you won't be stressing out over one girl and WORRYING about being needy, because you genuinely won't be, you will ACTUALLY have other girls your working on.
I'm not a giant fan of the "fake it till you make it" approach, just be genuine and congruent with what you're doing"
Anyway, I understand the feeling, but in summation, you're trying to be in control of a situation that is NOT entirely in your control. You need to make a decision here and just stick to it and move on and actively game other women. Do you make the jump and risk the friendship being wierd, or do you stay in the friend zone and maybe she has a change of heart? Only you have the information and intuition to make that call, but make the decision and don't worry/fret over it anymore.
But as far as phone or text game goes with here, follow these rules.
http://theasianplayboy.blogspot.com/2006/01/importance-of-rotations-phone-game.html
I have 2 other girls I'm casually seeing, one of which I fvcked for the 1st time this past week. But thanks for the response anyways.Kevin Feng said:Same principle applies to pick up, instead of focusing on one girl, you need to be actively pursing say 4-5.
Nope, never asked her out, though I did get her number. It came up because she asked me if I had a girlfriend. I said no, and said "How 'bout you?". She proceeds to tell me she just got out of a relationship a month before, and isn't looking for a relationship, just wants to meet new people.Igetit! said:Couple of questions. First...
How long had you known this girl before this "only looking for friendships" conversation came up? Also,how did the subject of her looking for friendships only even come up in the first place?
Did you ever ask her out?
I do like your response to that statement though, wish I would have thought of it.
Yeah, that was my plan. Thanks.Maxtro said:You handled it fine.
From now on pretend that she never said that. When you are with her you should escalate, escalate, escalate. If you don't somebody else will.
Joe Stud
Master Don Juan
get her buzzed, and having a good time. c & f... kino. get her on the couch & go dwn like james brown. do it good. and follow the attitude of the reply above
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.