Met this new girl the other day. Really cute, blond, probably a solid hb8. Anyways, we get talking a bit and she mentions that she just got out of a relationship recently and is only looking for new friendships. Now this wasn't a LJBF thing (unless she's being real proactive about it, lol). But how would you have handled it? I just said "Always good to make new friends" and moved on with our convo.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
What would you guys do with a girl that only wants friends?
- Thread starter Kal0051
- Start date
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Maxtro
Master Don Juan
You handled it fine.
From now on pretend that she never said that. When you are with her you should escalate, escalate, escalate. If you don't somebody else will.
From now on pretend that she never said that. When you are with her you should escalate, escalate, escalate. If you don't somebody else will.
Igetit!
Moderator
Couple of questions. First...Kal0051 said:Met this new girl the other day. Really cute, blond, probably a solid hb8. Anyways, we get talking a bit and she mentions that she just got out of a relationship recently and is only looking for new friendships.
How long had you known this girl before this "only looking for friendships" conversation came up? Also,how did the subject of her looking for friendships only even come up in the first place?
Did you ever ask her out?
Yes it is. If she were really,really attracted to a guy,if she were really turned on by him,you think she'd be telling him about her "looking for friendships"?Kal0051 said:Now this wasn't a LJBF thing
It really depends on how this whole "friendship" thing even came up. She wouldn't have just out of the blue,for absolutely no reason at all said this. If I went to a restaurant,walked up to the counter,and told the woman what I wanted to order,she's going to talk to me about the food I ordered. She's not going to out of the blue say,"Well,I'm not really looking to date right now. I'm just looking for friends". Something you said to her caused her to respond with that "friendship" remark.Kal0051 said:But how would you have handled it?
You went along with what she said about the looking for friends thing,which means she had the stronger frame.I just said "Always good to make new friends" and moved on with our convo.
If she had said that to me,I would have said something like,"That's cool. I'm sure you won't have any problems finding friends. So what's up with me and you? I want to see you".
This way,you'll steal the frame back.
Instead of you going along with her "friendship" frame,you would have forced her to see you as a possible romantic interest in your frame
KontrollerX
Master Don Juan
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- Oct 11, 2005
- Messages
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Yep.Maxtro said:You handled it fine.
From now on pretend that she never said that. When you are with her you should escalate, escalate, escalate. If you don't somebody else will.
Then if she freezes you out once you try to kiss her you do what is most feared on the Sosuave board...
Its called a takeaway where you take yourself completely out of her life and let her come crawling to you if she wants you in it.
Until she says what you want to hear you and she are then done as far as you're concerned.
If you can't handle doing that the only thing you'll be fvcking is your hand while she rides a true stud's c0ck.
Amen to this! you can turn it around and bone her!Maxtro said:You handled it fine.
From now on pretend that she never said that. When you are with her you should escalate, escalate, escalate. If you don't somebody else will.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Kevin Feng
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 6, 2008
- Messages
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I just saw a question similar to this posted earlier: this is what I said
"
I see this question all the time on the forums and honestly, I'd have to say this is a symptom more-so of too much micro-managing and not enough macro-management. In other words you're spending too much time, brain power, and emotions on one girl and it's driving you absolutely insane.
It's as if you invested all your money into one stock, when it moves up, you feel free, when it moves down, you feel like absolute sh*t.
Same principle applies to pick up, instead of focusing on one girl, you need to be actively pursing say 4-5. It's a little difficult when you start out, but if you consistently go out at least twice a week (as a good PUA should be), you should have enough phone numbers to keep you occupied. Plus, you won't be stressing out over one girl and WORRYING about being needy, because you genuinely won't be, you will ACTUALLY have other girls your working on.
I'm not a giant fan of the "fake it till you make it" approach, just be genuine and congruent with what you're doing"
Anyway, I understand the feeling, but in summation, you're trying to be in control of a situation that is NOT entirely in your control. You need to make a decision here and just stick to it and move on and actively game other women. Do you make the jump and risk the friendship being wierd, or do you stay in the friend zone and maybe she has a change of heart? Only you have the information and intuition to make that call, but make the decision and don't worry/fret over it anymore.
But as far as phone or text game goes with here, follow these rules.
http://theasianplayboy.blogspot.com/2006/01/importance-of-rotations-phone-game.html
"
I see this question all the time on the forums and honestly, I'd have to say this is a symptom more-so of too much micro-managing and not enough macro-management. In other words you're spending too much time, brain power, and emotions on one girl and it's driving you absolutely insane.
It's as if you invested all your money into one stock, when it moves up, you feel free, when it moves down, you feel like absolute sh*t.
Same principle applies to pick up, instead of focusing on one girl, you need to be actively pursing say 4-5. It's a little difficult when you start out, but if you consistently go out at least twice a week (as a good PUA should be), you should have enough phone numbers to keep you occupied. Plus, you won't be stressing out over one girl and WORRYING about being needy, because you genuinely won't be, you will ACTUALLY have other girls your working on.
I'm not a giant fan of the "fake it till you make it" approach, just be genuine and congruent with what you're doing"
Anyway, I understand the feeling, but in summation, you're trying to be in control of a situation that is NOT entirely in your control. You need to make a decision here and just stick to it and move on and actively game other women. Do you make the jump and risk the friendship being wierd, or do you stay in the friend zone and maybe she has a change of heart? Only you have the information and intuition to make that call, but make the decision and don't worry/fret over it anymore.
But as far as phone or text game goes with here, follow these rules.
http://theasianplayboy.blogspot.com/2006/01/importance-of-rotations-phone-game.html
I have 2 other girls I'm casually seeing, one of which I fvcked for the 1st time this past week. But thanks for the response anyways.Kevin Feng said:Same principle applies to pick up, instead of focusing on one girl, you need to be actively pursing say 4-5.
Nope, never asked her out, though I did get her number. It came up because she asked me if I had a girlfriend. I said no, and said "How 'bout you?". She proceeds to tell me she just got out of a relationship a month before, and isn't looking for a relationship, just wants to meet new people.Igetit! said:Couple of questions. First...
How long had you known this girl before this "only looking for friendships" conversation came up? Also,how did the subject of her looking for friendships only even come up in the first place?
Did you ever ask her out?
I do like your response to that statement though, wish I would have thought of it.
Yeah, that was my plan. Thanks.Maxtro said:You handled it fine.
From now on pretend that she never said that. When you are with her you should escalate, escalate, escalate. If you don't somebody else will.
Joe Stud
Master Don Juan
get her buzzed, and having a good time. c & f... kino. get her on the couch & go dwn like james brown. do it good. and follow the attitude of the reply above
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.