What would you estimate your rejection rate is?

[GoodMan32]

Stop worrying about your rates of rejection, and start focusing on the times you achieve your goal

I've only had free sex 17 times (and first had sex over a decade ago). I'd hardly call that achieving my goal.

 

[GoodMan32]

If you want to know about rejection, try getting a book published.

Getting rejected by some floozy is really nothing worth contemplating.

I'd rather get rejected by a publisher than a broad.

 

[GoodMan32]

Who cares. This isn't baseball.

Rejection is not real. I repeat, rejection is not real. You are probably infusing a woman not selecting you in that moment with more power than it can possibly have.

There are so many variables at play - timing, availability, the interaction, what's happening in life - that even if you were to make a stat sheet it would explain less than nothing. It's not the same as swinging and missing because it was a slider.

The problem is most guys bring their work analytics into their social life and believe that thinking like a man will get them on a woman's wavelength. Ride the wave, fellas.

With my history with the ladies, a rejection carries a lot of power.

 

[SW15]

When I get a first date that never leads to a 2nd date, it's not because I was friend-zoned. It's because the woman ended up hating me.

That's common. I highly doubt that they hate you, it's more dislike than anything.

The vast majority of 1st dates that don't result in 2nd dates don't lead to any platonic friendship. The woman usually doesn't want a platonic friendship after that 1-2 hour first date and the man usually isn't desiring any sort of friendship either.

Having no female friends isn't much of a sign of anything.

I've only had free sex 17 times (and first had sex over a decade ago). I'd hardly call that achieving my goal.

Don't call it "free sex". Almost all sex is paid, either directly or indirectly. Conventional dating is the better term for it as compared to free sex vs. paid sex.

Plenty of men dating a woman conventionally are paying for her expenses. Plenty of men will partially cover a woman's rent or help with car payments in exchange for sex in a conventional relationship. This isn't even a relationship based on "sugar dating" from Seeking either.

Men are buying luxury brand items for themselves in order to get laid from conventional sex. This is quite common with luxury car brands, luxury clothing/accessories (Rolex is a common purchase for this), and some other purchases. Men engage in consumerist behavior for the purposes of pounding vagina through conventional dating.

Your results with conventional dating are lackluster and that's frustrating to you. A quantity count of 9 partners is a good quantity count and actually higher than a lot of men's lifetime quantity count. Your big problem is taking your quantity into frequency/regularity. 9 partners and 17 times having sex lifetime from conventional dating isn't good.

 

[CornbreadFed]

depends on the situation

 

[BaronOfHair]

I've only had free sex 17 times (and first had sex over a decade ago). I'd hardly call that achieving my goal.

You make a choice to think in such terms, rather than: "I've had free sex 17 times. What steps can I take to expand that number to 18 now"

 

[GoodMan32]

That's common. I highly doubt that they hate you, it's more dislike than anything.

The vast majority of 1st dates that don't result in 2nd dates don't lead to any platonic friendship. The woman usually doesn't want a platonic friendship after that 1-2 hour first date and the man usually isn't desiring any sort of friendship either.

Having no female friends isn't much of a sign of anything.



Don't call it "free sex". Almost all sex is paid, either directly or indirectly. Conventional dating is the better term for it as compared to free sex vs. paid sex.

Plenty of men dating a woman conventionally are paying for her expenses. Plenty of men will partially cover a woman's rent or help with car payments in exchange for sex in a conventional relationship. This isn't even a relationship based on "sugar dating" from Seeking either.

Men are buying luxury brand items for themselves in order to get laid from conventional sex. This is quite common with luxury car brands, luxury clothing/accessories (Rolex is a common purchase for this), and some other purchases. Men engage in consumerist behavior for the purposes of pounding vagina through conventional dating.

Your results with conventional dating are lackluster and that's frustrating to you. A quantity count of 9 partners is a good quantity count and actually higher than a lot of men's lifetime quantity count. Your big problem is taking your quantity into frequency/regularity. 9 partners and 17 times having sex lifetime from conventional dating isn't good.

I know you've explained before how a lot of so-called "free" sex is really paid for indirectly.

As shocking as this might sound (for a guy with all my baggage), however, a lot of the "free" sex I've had really was 100% free. Here's where it gets even more shocking: Broads would drive to come bang me when I was in college. No date required. All I had to do was post Craigslist ads...and then the fish would bite.

That being said, while my strategy back then got me a decent amount of one night stands, I ran into the problem you pointed out: Hard time getting consistent lays from the same woman.

9 free partners and 17 lays averages out to a little less than 2 lays per woman.

 

[GoodMan32]

That's common. I highly doubt that they hate you, it's more dislike than anything.

The vast majority of 1st dates that don't result in 2nd dates don't lead to any platonic friendship. The woman usually doesn't want a platonic friendship after that 1-2 hour first date and the man usually isn't desiring any sort of friendship either.

Having no female friends isn't much of a sign of anything.



Don't call it "free sex". Almost all sex is paid, either directly or indirectly. Conventional dating is the better term for it as compared to free sex vs. paid sex.

Plenty of men dating a woman conventionally are paying for her expenses. Plenty of men will partially cover a woman's rent or help with car payments in exchange for sex in a conventional relationship. This isn't even a relationship based on "sugar dating" from Seeking either.

Men are buying luxury brand items for themselves in order to get laid from conventional sex. This is quite common with luxury car brands, luxury clothing/accessories (Rolex is a common purchase for this), and some other purchases. Men engage in consumerist behavior for the purposes of pounding vagina through conventional dating.

Your results with conventional dating are lackluster and that's frustrating to you. A quantity count of 9 partners is a good quantity count and actually higher than a lot of men's lifetime quantity count. Your big problem is taking your quantity into frequency/regularity. 9 partners and 17 times having sex lifetime from conventional dating isn't good.

Oh yeah, and I meant to address the other part of your post too.

You're right, dislike is probably a better word than saying a woman hates me after 1 date.

It's one thing if the man and woman already knew each other (and were possibly even friends) before the 1st date. In that case, they might become/remain platonic friends if the 1st date is a failure.

In cases where the woman didn't know you (or barely knew you) before the 1st date, however, if there weren't enough sparks to get a 2nd date, she's not going to want to be friends either.

 

[BaronOfHair]

I know you've explained before how a lot of so-called "free" sex is really paid for indirectly.

As shocking as this might sound (for a guy with all my baggage), however, a lot of the "free" sex I've had really was 100% free. Here's where it gets even more shocking: Broads would drive to come bang me when I was in college. No date required. All I had to do was post Craigslist ads...and then the fish would bite

You paid with the time and effort required to post on Craig's List... You wouldn't have gotten what you desired, had you not expended the effort

Which brings us back around to the central point: NOTHING in life comes to us "free of charge", even if that charge isn't monetary

 

[BaronOfHair]

With my history with the ladies, a rejection carries a lot of power.

It carries as much weight as you choose to attach to it, hombre, just as a remark like this https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threa...-is-it-worth-going.283111/page-2#post-3136703 can only affect me emotionally as much as I allow it to

The sh-t your going through is really nothing that EVERY man in the history of our species hasn't also gone through

 

[SW15]

I know you've explained before how a lot of so-called "free" sex is really paid for indirectly.

As shocking as this might sound (for a guy with all my baggage), however, a lot of the "free" sex I've had really was 100% free. Here's where it gets even more shocking: Broads would drive to come bang me when I was in college. No date required. All I had to do was post Craigslist ads...and then the fish would bite.

my strategy back then got me a decent amount of one night stands

It's possible to get occasional low cost sex for a minimal indirect price for most middle of the bell curve men.

The problem for a lot of men is that there's a lack of sustainability with trying to get low cost sex. You've been trying to operate like a top tier SMV man (aka 'Chad') and get low cost sex. A top tier man (85th-90th percentile +) offers enough to get women for lower costs and can get consistent short term sex. You're somewhere in the middle of the bell curve and you don't offer enough to get consistent short term sex for a low cost in conventional dating.

Posting a Craigslist ad and getting 1-2 instances of sex from it from any given woman (likely from a subpar to mediocre woman) isn't that great of an accomplishment and you can't get that style of sex with any regularity.

I ran into the problem you pointed out: Hard time getting consistent lays from the same woman.

9 free partners and 17 lays averages out to a little less than 2 lays per woman.

The best strategy for a middle of the bell curve SMV man is to find a way to get consistent lays from the same woman.

I know some married people who likely have never directly paid for sex and gotten all their sex from conventional dating. These are men who likely have had less than 9 sexual partners. From each of their partners, they likely averaged over 100 instances of sex per woman.

If a man makes an effort to get sustainable sex, he's happy with getting a 2 year relationship with her and having sex with her on 200+ separate days with her.

Serial monogamists are pretty good at getting sustainable sex but might have some small droughts between relationships.

It's one thing if the man and woman already knew each other (and were possibly even friends) before the 1st date. In that case, they might become/remain platonic friends if the 1st date is a failure.

In cases where the woman didn't know you (or barely knew you) before the 1st date, however, if there weren't enough sparks to get a 2nd date, she's not going to want to be friends either.

It's possible for a man and a woman to be friends after a failed first date if that dates was arranged from having common real life acquaintances. Perhaps they met at a backyard barbecue or other private residence party within that social circle. They might not be the closest friends, but they could stay friends. I see that as realistic.

If a man is arranging his first dates from approaching strangers in non-bar venues, approaching strangers in bars, using swipe apps, or sending random DMs on social media platforms, then his process is different. When this man has a failed first dates, the interaction typically ceases and both people move on with their lives as if that one unpleasant date day/date night never happened. There is no future interaction.

The interaction either ends with a ghosting/flaking or a woman sending a "I had a good time but do not see this going anywhere" type text message.

 

[GoodMan32]

You make a choice to think in such terms, rather than: "I've had free sex 17 times. What steps can I take to expand that number to 18 now"

I would have had an 18th and 19th free lay if I went through with the sex those 2 times we ended up naked in bed after a 1st date.

 

[GoodMan32]

Getting rejected for accomplishments is infinitely harder than being rejected by any woman. You wouldn't know, of course.

I've been rejected for jobs.

I got rejected by one of the colleges I applied to.

I still say getting rejected by a broad is worse.

At least I still had several colleges to pick from. As for jobs, I've had steady employment for years.

On the other hand, getting rejected by a broad could mean a loooooonnnnnnnnng drought.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

My experience, rejection rate is low because I let the women come to me. I only select the ones with the highest interest.

Keep in mind, rejection rate gets lower with patience. Being hasty increases the dude’s rejection rate because he’s swinging for anything.

women come to you how?

 

[BaronOfHair]

I would have had an 18th and 19th free lay if I went through with the sex those 2 times we ended up naked in bed after a 1st date.

In the future then, it'd be astute to seal the deal in such instances, hombre. Doing so will bring your lay count up from 17, 18, 19, 20...

 

[GoodMan32]

In the future then, it'd be astute to seal the deal in such instances, hombre. Doing so will bring your lay count up from 17, 18, 19, 20...

My phobia of pregnancy was why I opted out of sex, despite the fact there was a naked woman in bed with me.

I want to up my free lay count, yet am also terrified of pregnancy. That's why I prefer older (which comes with its own challenges, as a lot of older broads will immediately disqualify me solely based on my age)

Unreal. I'm 33; not 20. I shouldn't face ageism for being "too young" anymore.

 

[BaronOfHair]

My phobia of pregnancy was why I opted out of sex, despite the fact there was a naked woman in bed with me.

I want to up my free lay count, yet am also terrified of pregnancy

Then it'd behoove you to get past that fear, isn't it? You've mentioned you weren't satisfied with your most recent shrink: Find yourself another one, preferably one who's been trained in the empirically validated approaches(I.E. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in all of it's formulations)and who doesn't hesitate to be brutally honest with his(or her) clients. Also, read some books on the subject, take notes, and practice everything you've learned on a regular basis


"That's why I prefer older (which comes with its own challenges, as a lot of older broads will immediately disqualify me solely based on my age)"

The primary challenge being that most heterosexual women find men decades younger than themselves less appealing than The IDF and Hamas find the thought of spending the day together at Disneyland right now. All the more incentive for you to get off this fever dream, and start rolling with reality, by pursing women your own age and younger


"Unreal. I'm 33; not 20. I shouldn't face ageism for being "too young" anymore"

And I, as a darker skinned man who's descended from immigrants, SHOULDN'T encounter racial/ethnic prejudice occasionally. Alas, everyone is entitled to their own beliefs, and there's little I can do to "fix" a restaurateur who ignores me when I walk through the door, yet greets every pale face with a smile. Thus, I leave and patronize establishments run by less ignorant and philistine operators

Older women don't typically find you/younger gents more generally attractive, because they want a leader they feel comfortable submitting to, instead of another child to look after? Start pursuing women who are more amenable to guys in your age bracket

Here at SS, we have more than a couple of regulars who are older yet successfully snagged 19 year olds... There's no credible excuse for you, a young guy who's apparently fairly attractive, NOT succeeding

 

[Drmuscular]

Just go for what you want and stop trying to avoid pain man, who cares if you get rejected often or not, odds are these h0es don't have a good taste at all.

 

[Vanderdonck]

With my history with the ladies, a rejection carries a lot of power.

Only the power you give it. So stop doing that.

 

[GoodMan32]

Then it'd behoove you to get past that fear, isn't it? You've mentioned you weren't satisfied with your most recent shrink: Find yourself another one, preferably one who's been trained in the empirically validated approaches(I.E. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in all of it's formulations)and who doesn't hesitate to be brutally honest with his(or her) clients. Also, read some books on the subject, take notes, and practice everything you've learned on a regular basis


"That's why I prefer older (which comes with its own challenges, as a lot of older broads will immediately disqualify me solely based on my age)"

The primary challenge being that most heterosexual women find men decades younger than themselves less appealing than The IDF and Hamas find the thought of spending the day together at Disneyland right now. All the more incentive for you to get off this fever dream, and start rolling with reality, by pursing women your own age and younger


"Unreal. I'm 33; not 20. I shouldn't face ageism for being "too young" anymore"

And I, as a darker skinned man who's descended from immigrants, SHOULDN'T encounter racial/ethnic prejudice occasionally. Alas, everyone is entitled to their own beliefs, and there's little I can do to "fix" a restaurateur who ignores me when I walk through the door, yet greets every pale face with a smile. Thus, I leave and patronize establishments run by less ignorant and philistine operators

Older women don't typically find you/younger gents more generally attractive, because they want a leader they feel comfortable submitting to, instead of another child to look after? Start pursuing women who are more amenable to guys in your age bracket

Here at SS, we have more than a couple of regulars who are older yet successfully snagged 19 year olds... There's no credible excuse for you, a young guy who's apparently fairly attractive, NOT succeeding

No amount of therapy will change the fact I'd seriously end my existence over a pregnancy.

That's what it all boils down to: My phobia of pregnancy is more intense than the vast majority of men because the stakes are a lot higher for me. The typical man who doesn't want kids would simply be displeased (but ultimately get over it) if he impregnated a broad.

Calling me "decades" younger than my preferred age cohort is a major exaggeration on your part (and I've explained this to you before). While I'm willing to go as high as 60s (which really is decades older than me), I'm only a decade and change younger than a 45 year old (the cutoff of where my preference starts)

To put it into perspective: A few months from now, there will be 80s babies turning 45. I'm an early 90s baby. The gap between myself and a 45 year old broad is rapidly narrowing.

To address your racism example, all races face racism. I have a pale complexion. I look like the type of man you'd find in one of those memes that glorifies the 1950s. The immigrants in my family were from my great, 2nd great, and 3rd great-grandparent generations (in other words, my family has been here for ages). Yet not only have I faced racism/disrespect for the color of my skin; I've even been in positions where I could have died for the color of my skin.

A woman wanting a leader made sense a few generations ago (because back then, a woman was extremely limited in terms of earning a living). With all the careerist broads in 2024, on the other hand, a woman no longer requires a leader. There's a reason the cougar thing, basically nonexistent in 1924, exists in 2024 (even if not as common as I'd like)

As for older men on here banging 19 year olds, @SW15 is probably very interested in hearing their techniques. I, on the other hand, have no interest in banging a 19 year old. There's a decent chance even a 19 year old's mom is younger than I'd prefer.