"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

What would you do?

Darko J.

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 31, 2009
Messages
20
Reaction score
1
PokerStar and Querico,

you guys really hit the nail on the head. Can you please answer this one question?

Passiveness has been a problem for a long time now. I can't seem to figure out how 'the game' works and can't make decisions or even differentiate between right or wrong, truth or lie. So I spend endless time analyzing to figure out the optimal way to do everything and get paralysed as a result.

How do you learn 'the game'? Do you say that there is nothing more to it than confidence and belief in yourself? How do you learn that?

For example, if people put me down, I spend endless time analyzing wether they were right or wrong, wether they want to give me advice or just want to make themselves feel better, how I can adjust my appearance and behaviour the best way and on and on it goes.

Other examples are choosing the right career, making the right investment, the optimal business strateg, best way to dress and cut my hair and just about everything in life.

Other people seem to be learning from experience, but I don't which makes me doubt myself even more again.

Besides confidence you need information before you act right? But what is the best information to use?

I always feel like everything I do, I should've done better, endlessly weighting options to search more information...

Even now in this reply I'm doing this. You get the picture, what's the solution here?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Top