What would you do if ...

[londonzen]

you overheard your parents dissing you
bear in mind im 24 have a job,save money,have a car,help out,

and your parents were saying

i dont listen to anything he says(i only talk to them when they corner me)

he chats alot of crap (again i just answer questions but dont agree with wat they say)

hes useless(mum has no job never has dad has job,7 people live in my house im the only 1 who gives money, my mum borrows money and never gives it back.)

hes going knowhere with his life(how do they no im offered jobs alot just miss out on lack of expirience.)

im not happy with the way hes grown up(this 1 hurts the most and i have no answer to this, my dad also said this to 1 of my most untrustworthy friends a few years ago,who told every1)

he has no girls(my mum is a relationship wrecker and i dont like or trust her so why would i bring ppl around her? she judges any1 and is rude to my bros girl and causes arguments between them)

hes selfish(i give money,i drive ppl around,i cook clean,i even payed a £5000 bail for someone in the family,)

ect

this has really hurt my feelings, they used to do this wen i was a kid(i think this is where my afc behaviour came from) but had stopped it or so i thought.
ive always had trust issues and thought ppl were talking about me behind my back now i see why. as a kid they would do this with my friends cousins anyone.
i spoke to my sister and she said "they were on your ass for hours" i only caught the last of there convo. they dont know i know

any1 expiriance any thing like this? wat do you do

 

[Captain]

Move out, fvck these people who are being a negative influence on your life. There's a difference between constructive criticism (useful) and negativity (pointless and full of BAD effects.)

 

[kingsam]

+ the move out

dude ya 24!

have u ever lived on your own? its an awsome experience you get FREEDOM to be the person you want to be - rather than still being affected with your parents,
find some friends to live with...

im currently at home as im finishing a MA degree, living wiht parents holds back independece and maturity i feel, coz they are there to help you wiht washing, dinners, you get a bit lazy without realising it

 

[ken chang]

Yeah, I've experienced it. What's sad is that some relatives actually believe that if you have a job, it's your "responsibility" to share your money with them. It's all BS, by the way. Move out.

 

[Mike32ct]

Whenever I was troubled by what someone said to me or about me, mom (US equivalent of mum) always told me "Consider the source."

If their lives are that messed up, they are not in a position to judge you.

Like the other posters said, move out as soon as you can.

 

[Razor Sharp]

Damn, this is like reading my own biography. My parents really didn't have much to complain about. I got straight A's and worked part-time since I was 14. Didnt party, do drugs or hang with criminals.

But you'd never know it talking to them. They would freely tell people how I single-handedly ruined their lives, that I was stubborn, difficult, irresponsible, etc etc. They would talk sh*t about me to my friends or even strangers. And with girls, forget about it, the c*ck-blocking was non-stop.

They told my first GF that I brought them shame and would amount to nothing.

...

Of all the f*cked up things they ever did or said, that sh*t really hurt. It's the last thing anyone wants to hear from the folks that brought them into this world, especially not in front of the woman I loved.

For me it was the last straw. That same night I packed up my bags, leaving a good deal of my material possessions and not even knowing where I would be sleeping. F*ck, a park bench would be better. I told them that their troubles were over and I wouldn't be embarrassing them anymore before slamming the door in their faces and not looking back. I was 17 at the time.

For 3 years I did not talk to my folks until they finally tracked me down and we squashed the beef. It took them a while of talking to parents with legitimate problem kids to realize that they had treated a good son like a bad one.

I don't know your folks, but if they are anything like mine, moving out won't be enough. You will need to cut them off, letting them know that you are sorry to cause them so much misery and that it's all over now. Dig that guilt knife real deep too, let them feel the cut of your words before you disappear and begin your new life, no longer a boy but a MAN.

 

[moneyisking]

gtfo the house

 

[londonzen]

Damn, this is like reading my own biography. My parents really didn't have much to complain about. I got straight A's and worked part-time since I was 14. Didnt party, do drugs or hang with criminals.

But you'd never know it talking to them. They would freely tell people how I single-handedly ruined their lives, that I was stubborn, difficult, irresponsible, etc etc. They would talk sh*t about me to my friends or even strangers. And with girls, forget about it, the c*ck-blocking was non-stop.

They told my first GF that I brought them shame and would amount to nothing.

...

Of all the f*cked up things they ever did or said, that sh*t really hurt. It's the last thing anyone wants to hear from the folks that brought them into this world, especially not in front of the woman I loved.

For me it was the last straw. That same night I packed up my bags, leaving a good deal of my material possessions and not even knowing where I would be sleeping. F*ck, a park bench would be better. I told them that their troubles were over and I wouldn't be embarrassing them anymore before slamming the door in their faces and not looking back. I was 17 at the time.

For 3 years I did not talk to my folks until they finally tracked me down and we squashed the beef. It took them a while of talking to parents with legitimate problem kids to realize that they had treated a good son like a bad one.

I don't know your folks, but if they are anything like mine, moving out won't be enough. You will need to cut them off, letting them know that you are sorry to cause them so much misery and that it's all over now. Dig that guilt knife real deep too, let them feel the cut of your words before you disappear and begin your new life, no longer a boy but a MAN.

good to know im not the only 1
it was a shock because they smile in my face and accept my favours gladly when this is how they really feel.
the thing is they were in the kitchen which is under my room and ive told them every noise in there reverberates to my room.
i spoke to my sis the next day who told me they were going on for a full hour or so, i told her not to tell me wat was said as i was so angry i could of hit somebody.

the funniest thing is i was adamant to move out from like 16 but they always
stopped me.

the worst is i expect this from mum this is wat she does but my dad said the most hurtfull things.
i see them difftrentn now snakes

my dad tryed to hug me earlier why?
my mum is a black livia soprano

 

[londonzen]

ok now any1 from london wat is the cost of like a 1 bedroom flat
and where do you find them coz im seeing things like £950 a month wat the hell

 

[Razor Sharp]

That's a lot for a 1BR - do more hunting

http://london.craigslist.co.uk/apa/

 

[londonzen]

That's a lot for a 1BR - do more hunting

http://london.craigslist.co.uk/apa/

thanks i really want my own place as i smoke weed so wont really want to share

update my mums acting sly at the mo(as if shes got something to say)
my dads acting overly friendly i think he knows i heard them. i will let him stew as imo theres no point in a big blow up i am not a woman.
i just dont understand how someone can smile in your face and dislike you.
that is so not me

 

[f283000]

london, what do you expect when you're still living at home? It doesn't matter if you have a car, job, or contribute it's all about living by yourself. As long as you live at home you will be a kid to your parents no matter what you do. So don't expect them to treat you like an adult or show you respect as an adult.

 

[Kailex]

im not happy with the way hes grown up(this 1 hurts the most and i have no answer to this, my dad also said this to 1 of my most untrustworthy friends a few years ago,who told every1)

Okay, out of everything I read, this ONE is the one that absolutely SLAYS me. But before I get to this point, let me tell you what's going on.

Your parents have the Complaint Syndrome. Essentially, you are damned if you do, damned if you don't.
I won't get into specifics, because it doesn't matter. But I'm pretty sure that in the back of their minds, you were supposed to have left their place a LONG time ago, but you're still there.

My advice is: Get your affairs in order, get your life together, stop smoking weed and get the hell out of that house.



Now, what I quoted absolutely kills me because they are saying that they didn't like the way you grew up? Didn't THEY raise you? So isn't it THEIR fault that you didn't turn out the way they supposedly wanted to?

OP, I have to ask you though - You say you have a job, a car, and other things. What exactly do you do? Why are you still living with your parents if you can take care of yourself? Is your job not good enough to live on your own?

the funniest thing is i was adamant to move out from like 16 but they always
stopped me.

No buddy, you stopped yourself. No one on this Earth can ever stop you from doing anything that is within your physical boundaries other than yourself. If you were TRULY adamant about moving out, you would have done it. You are 24, you do NOT need their permission to do ANYTHING anymore and as long as you live WILLINGLY underneath their roof, you are going to have to WILLINGLY put up with their crap.

I was done with all of that at the age of 17 and my parents respect me much more for being a self-made man who put himself through college, moved out and even away and got his own job, car, apartment, and what not.

I chose that path and you have that choice as well.
Don't complain about the prison and the wardens if the jail cell doors are opened widely and all you need to do is step out.

 

[londonzen]

Okay, out of everything I read, this ONE is the one that absolutely SLAYS me. But before I get to this point, let me tell you what's going on.

Your parents have the Complaint Syndrome. Essentially, you are damned if you do, damned if you don't.
I won't get into specifics, because it doesn't matter. But I'm pretty sure that in the back of their minds, you were supposed to have left their place a LONG time ago, but you're still there.

My advice is: Get your affairs in order, get your life together, stop smoking weed and get the hell out of that house.



Now, what I quoted absolutely kills me because they are saying that they didn't like the way you grew up? Didn't THEY raise you? So isn't it THEIR fault that you didn't turn out the way they supposedly wanted to?

OP, I have to ask you though - You say you have a job, a car, and other things. What exactly do you do? Why are you still living with your parents if you can take care of yourself? Is your job not good enough to live on your own?



No buddy, you stopped yourself. No one on this Earth can ever stop you from doing anything that is within your physical boundaries other than yourself. If you were TRULY adamant about moving out, you would have done it. You are 24, you do NOT need their permission to do ANYTHING anymore and as long as you live WILLINGLY underneath their roof, you are going to have to WILLINGLY put up with their crap.

I was done with all of that at the age of 17 and my parents respect me much more for being a self-made man who put himself through college, moved out and even away and got his own job, car, apartment, and what not.

I chose that path and you have that choice as well.
Don't complain about the prison and the wardens if the jail cell doors are opened widely and all you need to do is step out.

good advice thanks

 

[nismo-4]

People are gonna talk about you till the day you die and there ain't sh*t you can do about it. Your best revenge is to prove them wrong. I did this to my own dad several times. Fight for your right! Fight the good fight! Live for you, not your parents.

Sometimes family will bring you down quicker than strangers. Most of the time, my dad has bad sh*t to say about me and I just take it with a grain of salt.

Case closed. Never let someone's negative opinions about you become your perceptions.

 

[londonzen]

People are gonna talk about you till the day you die and there ain't sh*t you can do about it. Your best revenge is to prove them wrong. I did this to my own dad several times. Fight for your right! Fight the good fight! Live for you, not your parents.

Sometimes family will bring you down quicker than strangers. Most of the time, my dad has bad sh*t to say about me and I just take it with a grain of salt.

Case closed. Never let someone's negative opinions about you become your perceptions.

agree

but like i said my mum i expect this stff as she a b1tch but my dad he lost man points in my head now