Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

What went wrong ??

gb1112

New Member
Joined
Oct 9, 2021
Messages
9
Reaction score
7
Age
50
When a woman tells you her problem(s), most often, she just want you to really listen to her and feel what she's feeling. Don't try to solve her problems, unless she asks you to. Being present & listen.
yes, that's what I should have done. I always knew that I shouldn't speak or reply when women complain or speak about their tough times. But I faulted at this moment. Anyhow, as you said, this has ended. Thanks buddy.
 

gb1112

New Member
Joined
Oct 9, 2021
Messages
9
Reaction score
7
Age
50
You don't sound like someone that is dependent on ego. Instead, you sound like someone that still has their pride.
Sure I'd like to think that I don't have too much ego. But it hurts my pride to think that everytime we fight I have to make up irrespective of whether it's my fault or not. Why does it always have to be me to make up ? This time I decided it was the end of trying to reconcile. If the love between us is equal, then she too should take the initiative to reconcile, especially when she knows that it is her mistake. And I know very well in my heart, that I have taken the best care of her till date. I deserve better.
 

PRW63

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 5, 2020
Messages
484
Reaction score
387
Age
58
Location
Illinois within driving distance of St Louis, Mo
Good luck! to blindly follow this one man's "internet forum philosophy" is so short sight to say the least.

Then you are in the wrong place dude. Tomassi was one of the founding moderators here,...one of those who put this place on the map. The term and concept of Red Pill was born here. This is where it came from, where it originated from. You are standing on the birthplace of Red Pill and criticizing the man who some call "The Godfather or the Red Pill". If you are going to bad mouth that then maybe you shouldn't be here.

As far as an "internet forum philosophy",....you are on the internet,....you are on a forum,....and you are projecting your philosophy,...so by that logic we shouldn't listen to you either.
 

RangerMIke

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 23, 2014
Messages
3,942
Reaction score
5,733
Location
USA, Louisiana
... During that conversation she was telling me about a small issue that she was facing at her shop and I responded by saying that I wish I had more time to be able to assist her.
I'll focus on this, NEVER build negative rapport with chicks. When she starts b1tching about sh!t, change the subject. I have teenagers... and yeah teenagers are a pain in the @ss. Many women I've dated have teens too, when they start complaining about their kids, it would be SO EASY to just go with that and have a drunken b1tch session about our kids. Yeah... it's INSTANT rapport, but it is NEGATIVE rapport. You want to build POSITIVE rapport. So what I do is start talking about how great my kids are (it's easy because they are great) but what this does is it starts her saying positive things about their kids... then... well it becomes POSITVE Rapport. If she won't follow your lead and be positive, then that is the last date you go on.

This is true with EVERYTHING. Some women will start complaining about their exes, DO NOT fall into that trap, just say things like, "Well, he couldn't have been THAT bad since you were with him." Then say "I really don't talk about my exes, but I learn from all my experiences." Again, if she is interested in you , she will follow your lead. If she stays negative, she isn't looking for a playful mate, she'll looking for a therapist.

One more thing... NEVER offer to help a chick with ANYTHING unless she specifically asks you for help... then at that point you negotiate what she will do for you in return.

Negative rapport creates ENEMIES. Which is why she got mad at you. The USA and USSR... we had rapport when we were fighting Nazis, soon as the Nazis were vanquished, we became enemies. Our rapport was negative.

Positive rapport creates friends and playmates. The USA and the UK, we always had positive rapport based on common culture and language, so even after Hitler offed himself in a bunker.. we still remained friends.

I all you have in common is sh1t you both hate... well... when that thing you hate disappears you have to find something you can hate together... if you can't find something you can agree to 'hate', you will start hating each other.... this works on a micro as well as marco level.
 

image

"If you love women, you must read the SoSuave Guide to Women. It's fantastic!"

RangerMIke

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 23, 2014
Messages
3,942
Reaction score
5,733
Location
USA, Louisiana
We kicked their sorry rearends long before we did Hitler's. Revolutionary War.
The American Revolution was one of the most 'British" things we did. Britain has a long history of fighting among themselves. The willingness to take up arms and fight against government is actually a very British thing to do. War of the Roses which last 35 years, the 1st 2nd and 3rd English Civil Wars, wars between the Scots and English, Scots and the Irish, Irish against the English, Welsh against the English.

Americans and the British are a lot more like each other then either is comfortable admitting.
 

gb1112

New Member
Joined
Oct 9, 2021
Messages
9
Reaction score
7
Age
50
One more thing... NEVER offer to help a chick with ANYTHING unless she specifically asks you for help... then at that point you negotiate what she will do for you in return.
That's an advice worth remembering and following. Thanks
 

LoboSolitario

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jul 17, 2021
Messages
393
Reaction score
350
Then you are in the wrong place dude.
Maybe. I could care less, i will think for myself. You go ahead being a sheep.

Tomassi was one of the founding moderators here,...one of those who put this place on the map
Slight exaggeration. There's been some great contributors here, some of them real and some of them key board jockies.

The term and concept of Red Pill was born here. This is where it came from, where it originated from.
Wrong. It started on Reddit. This was a pua forum with the term Don Juan used to make it more complete and rounded.

You are standing on the birthplace of Red Pill and criticizing the man who some call "The Godfather or the Red Pill"
nobody is above criticism. The point of a forum is to debate and evolve. Let's remember the guy is married 25 years, is really efenimate yet talks about things like spinning plate and being an "alpha". He talks theory and not from experience. If you think something is above criticism you have being sucked into cult mentality. just like the AAer's who think AA is above criticism they come out in their drones if you criticize it. And remember sometimes criticisim and debate is what makes something evolve and get better.

The Rational male was written in 2013 by a married man. The world and the dating market has changed a lot since then. Nothing is permanent. Ideas evolve. You must adapt and evolve and learn to think for yourself, or stay stagnant.

If you are going to bad mouth that then maybe you shouldn't be here.
Oh whinge whinge. plenty of other people feel the same way here. tell @DEEZEDBRAH to get off the site too.

Who do you think you are telling other men they shouldn't be here?

Get your tongue out of that man's hole.

As far as an "internet forum philosophy",....you are on the internet,....you are on a forum,....and you are projecting your philosophy,...so by that logic we shouldn't listen to you either.
One thing is spreading an ideology anther is having open debate. If you don't see the difference at your age, then conversation is lost on you.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 24, 2017
Messages
5,034
Reaction score
3,860
Age
31
Maybe. I could care less, i will think for myself. You go ahead being a sheep.



Slight exaggeration. There's been some great contributors here, some of them real and some of them key board jockies.



Wrong. It started on Reddit. This was a pua forum with the term Don Juan used to make it more complete and rounded.



nobody is above criticism. The point of a forum is to debate and evolve. Let's remember the guy is married 25 years, is really efenimate yet talks about things like spinning plate and being an "alpha". He talks theory and not from experience. If you think something is above criticism you have being sucked into cult mentality. just like the AAer's who think AA is above criticism they come out in their drones if you criticize it. And remember sometimes criticisim and debate is what makes something evolve and get better.

The Rational male was written in 2013 by a married man. The world and the dating market has changed a lot since then. Nothing is permanent. Ideas evolve. You must adapt and evolve and learn to think for yourself, or stay stagnant.



Oh whinge whinge. plenty of other people feel the same way here. tell @DEEZEDBRAH to get off the site too.

Who do you think you are telling other men they shouldn't be here?

Get your tongue out of that man's hole.



One thing is spreading an ideology anther is having open debate. If you don't see the difference at your age, then conversation is lost on you.
Tbh I am not listening to the space anymore. Just living life. The sky's falling. @darksprezzatura has got the right idea. Level up.

If a guru has no receipts, it didn't happen. Speaks to the space most often than not. The fabric of society is coming apart as we speak.

I hope people start moving like the house is on fire.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 24, 2017
Messages
5,034
Reaction score
3,860
Age
31
The American Revolution was one of the most 'British" things we did. Britain has a long history of fighting among themselves. The willingness to take up arms and fight against government is actually a very British thing to do. War of the Roses which last 35 years, the 1st 2nd and 3rd English Civil Wars, wars between the Scots and English, Scots and the Irish, Irish against the English, Welsh against the English.

Americans and the British are a lot more like each other then either is comfortable admitting.
Mike mate I don't disagree. I only see Americans fighting back. I have never wanted to be there more than ever now.
 

RangerMIke

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 23, 2014
Messages
3,942
Reaction score
5,733
Location
USA, Louisiana
Mike mate I don't disagree. I only see Americans fighting back. I have never wanted to be there more than ever now.
The ony real difference between Brits and Yanks is our form of government. My ex is British (she becomes a US citizen next year), both my kids have duel citizenship (UK and US). Their bedroom is filled with pitches of the Queen, and various Princes and Princesses that quite frankly I could not ID to save my life, but the truth is that I think I am the exception. Americans are just fascinated by the British Royal families. I just watched the news this morning and the network ran a story about William's impression of billionaires going to space. Not really sure why Americans should be concerned about he opinion of a man, who is in the position he holds, simply because one of his ancestors a thousand years ago was really good at swinging a battle axe, killing anyone that challenged his claims, but here we are... 2012 was especially puzzling for me. My GOD that year it was all British Monarchy all the time. The Queen's anniversary, the Olympics, Royal Wedding... etc etc.

But you are right about Americans fighting... rioting is kind of a national past-time. It doesn't matter if you or on the left or right of the political spectrum, we apparently love a good riot. But this happens in the US because at our root, we really do not have faith in government. Our political system is not responsive to requests to change, it's designed to move slowly, and change is slow. The British political system used to be like this as well, but in the last 25 years, the British political system has gone through radical change. The US system is too slow: the British system NOW is too fast. But like what the British government or not, you can not argue that government is responsive to the people... SO the net result is that most British do believe in their political process, when most Brits believed that membership in the EU was not something they wanted, they got rid of it. I loved what PM Johnson did when he got opposition to exiting the EU... he held a vote... the vote confirmed his position, and everyone just STFU and moved on. Something like this would NEVER happen in the US.

In America, we could have something that 85% of Americans want, but in a 50-50 Senate, which is what we have now... everything would stop if we lunatic Senator that opposes it. Heck... we could have something that the Senate support 59-41, but if you have ONE SENATOR that refuses to end debate, again... nothing happens.

The net result is that the average Brit might not like what the government is doing, but by and large they still believe that things can change. The average American does not believe this at all... ergo more violence.

I am still friends with many of my exes relatives in the UK, and when I'm drinking in the pub with them, it's all the same issues they worry about that Americans are as well. We have the same left wing loons and right wing loons that the British have... really other than the accents and in America we might complain about Mexicans, in Britain it might be Bulgarians. It's the same discussion only slightly different.
 

Dash Riprock

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 16, 2005
Messages
1,538
Reaction score
2,965
Location
Mile High City, USA

Then you are in the wrong place dude. Tomassi was one of the founding moderators here,...one of those who put this place on the map. The term and concept of Red Pill was born here. This is where it came from, where it originated from. You are standing on the birthplace of Red Pill and criticizing the man who some call "The Godfather or the Red Pill". If you are going to bad mouth that then maybe you shouldn't be here.

As far as an "internet forum philosophy",....you are on the internet,....you are on a forum,....and you are projecting your philosophy,...so by that logic we shouldn't listen to you either.
There were many others on this board years ago before Rollo who were far and away better at giving advice than Rollo.

I'm lukewarm on Rollo. Don't hate him, don't love him. I've read the Rational Male. It's ok and he does cite some "coaching" he's delivered from his SS days, but he's also been married for YEARS and writes from a largely hypothetical perspective. Kind of like the college professor who teaches classes on entrepreneurship but has never actually started, owned, and navigated a startup business to profitably.
 

oldmanofthesea

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 23, 2018
Messages
1,481
Reaction score
2,818
Age
45
I'll focus on this, NEVER build negative rapport with chicks. When she starts b1tching about sh!t, change the subject. I have teenagers... and yeah teenagers are a pain in the @ss. Many women I've dated have teens too, when they start complaining about their kids, it would be SO EASY to just go with that and have a drunken b1tch session about our kids. Yeah... it's INSTANT rapport, but it is NEGATIVE rapport. You want to build POSITIVE rapport. So what I do is start talking about how great my kids are (it's easy because they are great) but what this does is it starts her saying positive things about their kids... then... well it becomes POSITVE Rapport. If she won't follow your lead and be positive, then that is the last date you go on.

This is true with EVERYTHING. Some women will start complaining about their exes, DO NOT fall into that trap, just say things like, "Well, he couldn't have been THAT bad since you were with him." Then say "I really don't talk about my exes, but I learn from all my experiences." Again, if she is interested in you , she will follow your lead. If she stays negative, she isn't looking for a playful mate, she'll looking for a therapist.

One more thing... NEVER offer to help a chick with ANYTHING unless she specifically asks you for help... then at that point you negotiate what she will do for you in return.

Negative rapport creates ENEMIES. Which is why she got mad at you. The USA and USSR... we had rapport when we were fighting Nazis, soon as the Nazis were vanquished, we became enemies. Our rapport was negative.

Positive rapport creates friends and playmates. The USA and the UK, we always had positive rapport based on common culture and language, so even after Hitler offed himself in a bunker.. we still remained friends.

I all you have in common is sh1t you both hate... well... when that thing you hate disappears you have to find something you can hate together... if you can't find something you can agree to 'hate', you will start hating each other.... this works on a micro as well as marco level.
This should be added to the DJ Bible.

I can't tell you how long it took me to learn this. Women who want to constantly complain should be kicked to the curb. Remember, you are screening them, not the other way around. I do exactly what RangerMike does in that I put a positive spin on things or I tactfully change the subject. I'm not an emotional tampon, and if a girl is so negative that all she wants to do is constantly complain, guess who she is going to be complaining about once you are in an LTR? YOU. Constant complaining is also a sign of B-cluster disorders. A lot of guys do the wrong thing because they have been brainwashed growing up that a partner should "be supportive" and "be a shoulder to cry on." While that is true, what they weren't told is what these things truly mean, and they most certainly do NOT mean you are there to listen to her complain all the time. If she has a tough day once a week or something like that and needs to vent, it's ok to listen to her for a few minutes and ask her questions and say you understand, but then try to reframe it positively, or provide encouragement about it - help her see the positive aspect of it. That's support. If you hear negative things daily, that's a huge no and huge red flag.

I have found that when I reframe a conversation that starts with the woman bitching and ends with me talking about something positive or deflecting away from the conversation a handful of times, women are very perceptive and they pick up on this and often they don't even realize how negative they are so it suddenly makes them self-conscious about their behavior when they realize this (as it should). From that point forward their mindset is, "Oh gosh, he probably thinks I'm totally negative and whiny. I better stop that or he is going to drop me." And then you notice a shift in their behavior. But if you don't, she's not worth another moment of your time and you would be very wise to run for the hills.
 

rart

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 4, 2019
Messages
121
Reaction score
167
Age
43
Sure I'd like to think that I don't have too much ego. But it hurts my pride to think that everytime we fight I have to make up irrespective of whether it's my fault or not. Why does it always have to be me to make up ? This time I decided it was the end of trying to reconcile. If the love between us is equal, then she too should take the initiative to reconcile, especially when she knows that it is her mistake. And I know very well in my heart, that I have taken the best care of her till date. I deserve better.

Looks like you did everything right.
 

PRW63

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 5, 2020
Messages
484
Reaction score
387
Age
58
Location
Illinois within driving distance of St Louis, Mo
The willingness to take up arms and fight against government is actually a very British thing to do.
The British weren't fighting against the government,...they were the government and we were fighting against them.
But now they do need to fight against the government,...more now than ever, but they aren't. Unless the stories of it just aren't making it over here. The MSM does hide a lot of truth.
 

image

Put away your credit card.

You can now read our detailed guide to women and dating for free - Right Here!

DEEZEDBRAH

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 24, 2017
Messages
5,034
Reaction score
3,860
Age
31
The ony real difference between Brits and Yanks is our form of government. My ex is British (she becomes a US citizen next year), both my kids have duel citizenship (UK and US). Their bedroom is filled with pitches of the Queen, and various Princes and Princesses that quite frankly I could not ID to save my life, but the truth is that I think I am the exception. Americans are just fascinated by the British Royal families. I just watched the news this morning and the network ran a story about William's impression of billionaires going to space. Not really sure why Americans should be concerned about he opinion of a man, who is in the position he holds, simply because one of his ancestors a thousand years ago was really good at swinging a battle axe, killing anyone that challenged his claims, but here we are... 2012 was especially puzzling for me. My GOD that year it was all British Monarchy all the time. The Queen's anniversary, the Olympics, Royal Wedding... etc etc.

But you are right about Americans fighting... rioting is kind of a national past-time. It doesn't matter if you or on the left or right of the political spectrum, we apparently love a good riot. But this happens in the US because at our root, we really do not have faith in government. Our political system is not responsive to requests to change, it's designed to move slowly, and change is slow. The British political system used to be like this as well, but in the last 25 years, the British political system has gone through radical change. The US system is too slow: the British system NOW is too fast. But like what the British government or not, you can not argue that government is responsive to the people... SO the net result is that most British do believe in their political process, when most Brits believed that membership in the EU was not something they wanted, they got rid of it. I loved what PM Johnson did when he got opposition to exiting the EU... he held a vote... the vote confirmed his position, and everyone just STFU and moved on. Something like this would NEVER happen in the US.

In America, we could have something that 85% of Americans want, but in a 50-50 Senate, which is what we have now... everything would stop if we lunatic Senator that opposes it. Heck... we could have something that the Senate support 59-41, but if you have ONE SENATOR that refuses to end debate, again... nothing happens.

The net result is that the average Brit might not like what the government is doing, but by and large they still believe that things can change. The average American does not believe this at all... ergo more violence.

I am still friends with many of my exes relatives in the UK, and when I'm drinking in the pub with them, it's all the same issues they worry about that Americans are as well. We have the same left wing loons and right wing loons that the British have... really other than the accents and in America we might complain about Mexicans, in Britain it might be Bulgarians. It's the same discussion only slightly different.
We got a long history but it's cucked. The smp is trash. Most if not all are feminist or adopt independent waman jargon. Firmware is contradictory to a man's purpose and dare I say well being. Not surprising, Tusk and Troy run game OUTSIDE the UK. Guess why? The smp is a dumpster fire. Average girl is Cathy Newman.

You Americans got fight. I see it in you. I see it in your Constitution. I overheard the pushback on NYC root beer floats by your courts. Here everyone dropped the soap. No lube.

I watched wilder vs fury. It's not even close the skill set of sweet science but holy ****. I respect Wilder going out on his shield. Lesser men would have quit ages ago. And fair play to them.

I am looking at a future elsewhere. It's always felt alien. Freedom is at the height of my list in the near future. No wife. No kids. I don't believe in monogamy. Lower taxes is important but nothing more than freedom. I think this past 2yrs has been the ultimate red pill.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 24, 2017
Messages
5,034
Reaction score
3,860
Age
31
The British weren't fighting against the government,...they were the government and we were fighting against them.
But now they do need to fight against the government,...more now than ever, but they aren't. Unless the stories of it just aren't making it over here. The MSM does hide a lot of truth.
America is the only country that still has freedom as well as guns lol. I will like to make the trip in the future. Enjoying the decline in the meantime.
 
Top