"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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what went wrong here?

pimp in training

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help me anallyze this...im pretty sure i know, but i wanted some feedback...

meet some HB9 offline, went to starbucks/walk.

mistake #1: she plays 3 sports and goes to church 3x a week. im so not into church, and i dont play any organized sports

mistake #2: i didnt buy her coffee, then when she was in line she abruptly changed her mind and said her gum tasted too good...is there a time and place for splitting costs with the girl, or should the guy ALWAYS pay?

also, she complimented me on everything, i got her smiling, hugging me, etc. now after that, she just blew me off.

what do you guys think went wrong?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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TheNonPedant

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cheap ass....didn't pay for coffee??!!

Ask her out again...and pay for it if your the one asking her out.
 

Dukester

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mistake #1: so what you dont go to church, and so what you dont play sports!
(why change for this girl) unless you think she's that worth it. and i'll let ya in on a secret- SHE'S NOT!

mistake #2: if she cant pay 4 coffee, then she is a cheap azz, and she wants to control you- i.e. make you buy her things all the time. now it's a cappachino, next time a necklace?

mistake #3: if she smiled, and compimented and all that, it could mean 2 things:
a) she was being extremely nice and polite, and was gonna blow u off (which she did), but she wanted to try and get coffee outta it.
b) she is really into u, and was waiting on u to make a move
when you didnt, she blew u off
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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DJ_Dork

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alright you messed up and both of you seem incompatible (in regards to church and doing sports.) - you can fix this... just stay cool and not do anything, try to go out with her on a walk/hike/mall shoping (make this your last option cause shopping sucks) 2 weeks later.
 

pimp in training

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hmmm...dukester, you the man ;)
i dunno, im not sure about 3a or 3b....but the other two i guess i can agree with...maybe she just wants a guy who will jump through hoops for her?
 

Afrodisiac21

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god, sometimes you guys take these rules to seriously
number 1 is ok to buy stuff for girls as long as your the one who wants to buy it.
supplicating is when you do something for someone just for the sake of making her like you.
Spending a dollar on a coffee is NOT SUPPLICATING, if you asked then she was probably expecting you to pay for her coffee, that doesn't make her a gold digging ***** though lol

i agree with dukester, I think she was waiting for you to make the moves, and when you didn't she blew you off.
 

Omid

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All is not lost, try hooking up with her after a week, but leave her the initiative (tell her to call back), that way you'll be sure if she's interested in you even before the get-together. Then at the date you have to attack the target with lots of kino, since she hugged you and all.

Go for it.
 

-HPNOTIQ-

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Originally posted by Dukester
mistake #1: so what you dont go to church, and so what you dont play sports!
(why change for this girl) unless you think she's that worth it. and i'll let ya in on a secret- SHE'S NOT!

mistake #2: if she cant pay 4 coffee, then she is a cheap azz, and she wants to control you- i.e. make you buy her things all the time. now it's a cappachino, next time a necklace?

mistake #3: if she smiled, and compimented and all that, it could mean 2 things:
a) she was being extremely nice and polite, and was gonna blow u off (which she did), but she wanted to try and get coffee outta it.
b) she is really into u, and was waiting on u to make a move
when you didnt, she blew u off
Dood..not all women are synical. Read Oxide's new thread on the MALE EGO TOWER - The thread is called the Fall of the DJ.

These are the same type of responses you'll hear from feminazi's about men. Men are pigs, men only want one thing = Women are gold diggers, women only want one thing. pssshh..

There are a handful of women out there that aren't golddiggers.

Why go out...PU women...date them..and have your guard up at all times? How the heck do you have fun with a girl when you're questioning every move..every penny spent...You're going to call out a chick on golddigging over a $4 cup of coffee? And she goes to church 3 times a week?

Bro..YOU'RE JADED...A DJ doesn't need to go questioning every penny. Have fun, be suave. Give the chick the benefit of the doubt. If the speending becomes excessive, and she starts to expect it. THEN CALL HER OUT ON IT. Know that there is give..but there is also a limit.

A cup of coffee now means she will expect a necklace in the future? Get real. Thats jaded thinking. Afrodisiac said it already. Supplication starts when you DEPEND and RELY on money and gifts to buy a woman's affection.

Yes...there ARE sincere women who will suprise a good deed with a good deed. There are tons of guys with new Jordans, watches, shirts, etc bought and paid for by the girl he was dating. Yea..he paid for the dinners..and yes, in gratitude she bought the guy a present. Good women are out there. Its called reciprocity.

But Yes..there ARE golddiggers out there. In this case...I wouldn't call her out on a $4 cup of coffee. IMO..the guy is a pretty cheap ass if he offers a cheap coffee date then decides not to pay.

But, if you walk around doubting women and have a jaded attidude..why bother with DJing? Better you stay home and download Paris Hilton videos.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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