What Was This Girl Thinking?

[Zapp Brannigan]

This has been in the back of my mind for awhile, and after reading a recent thread here I got to thinking about it again.

There's this thing my church puts together each summer. It's kind of like a day camp, you get there in the morning and leave a little after dark. Last year I went to it, and there was this really cute girl I didn't know there. Throughout the day me and her were flirting, and kept coming around one another. At the end of the day I asked her out, and she gave me her number. When I called to see about going out she seemed to busy to. I got to thinking, she didn't say if she had a boyfriend or not, and maybe when asking her out she just didn't know how to react and that's why she agreed. I didn't call back and was hoping to see her at another church function. I asked a couple kids and none of them knew her, or who she was with at that get together. A couple months later I ran into her at the county fair. She came up to me and started talking, and seemed happy to see me. Saw she was with a guy, and I assumed he was her boyfriend.

I didn't see her again we were at a Pizza Hut probably a month or two later. She was with her parents, and I was with mine. It was really awkward. I barely glanced at her once, but my dad noticed her looking and said she looked surprised and like she wanted me to say something, but I didn't and kept my eyes directed at other things. I felt really bad about that to, and hope I didn't hurt her feelings by not saying anything. The last time I saw her was when walking into a Walmart. She was probably about 30 feet ahead of me and turned her head back toward me as she continued to walk.

I've been curious about this for awhile. What was she truly thinking? Was she ever interested?

 

[Skyline]

This reminds me of... Well me! I used to do this exact same thing, always wonder if she'sinterested, never really talked to her once I got attracted, always assumed she had a boyfriend and simple never made a move.

She's interested but we don't know that for sure. The only way is to ask her out. Next time a girl tells you she's too busy, tell her to contact you when she isn't and see if you can get together. If she doesn't contact you, not interested. And if she blows you off 3 times, not interested.

 

[eufifniia]

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which? Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer. Teacher: Please tell us. Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.



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[Huffman]

What you know for sure: there was a LITTLE interest to begin with.

What you don't know is if how high her interest really was, because: girls tend to do really weird things when they're interested. Some girls chase you, others are shy, obsess about you but never say anything, others are not but they're testing if you can take the initiative. Read Pooks's post on Shy Women.

Thing is: there is and was no safe way to gauge her interest at that point - you're not sure and she's not sure. Why don't you go blast through that insecurity (yours and hers both) and just establish contact again.

It might be too late now but if you see her again in such a situation, don't *glance* shyly at her (which is kinda her job), just look, smile, walk over, say hi. For example, even at the weird dinner, you could just have waved and gone over to her table THE INSTANT SHE NOTICED YOU, said "hi, blah, you're here too, cool, blah, alright my food is coming see you later!"
Even if it was a bad time for convo, you've asserted that you are here. If you're lucky she might even come to say goodbye when she's leaving, probably leaving her friends for a minute, AT WHICH TIME you could ask her out again, or just say "I'll call/text you". Asserting you're still in the game. If not, then who cares. You can go home and don't need to waste another thought.

That was just an example. I've been in many situations that seemed really bland and boring, then I'm seeing an opportunity present itself, hesitate, think better of it, test the waters a little and BAM I'm walking away with a number! Your fortune can really turn 180° in a second, be aware of this fact! And don't resign, don't wait for reassurance.

 

[Huffman]

Just want to add one thing: by not saying hi, you've kind of make her feel awkward. Several times. You don't want her to feel awkward around you.

I mean you can play push&pull, but don't just pull all the time. You know