Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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What type of approach is this?

Gdupm6

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Me and this girl were dating and were about to be official but she ended up saying shes not ready, blah blah blah whatever.. So after that conversation i completely changed my attitude, wasnt so friendly, wouldnt answer her texts often, I backed off big time.

So now i guess shes noticed that it hasnt been the same me who was always available, texting back right away etc...I took a trip to south beach miami with a couple of my buddies, and i get texts from her saying she misses me, sending me photos that we took together, telling me to be safe, that she always thinks of me...good night.. etc..So when i replied, i responded very concise and every couple of hours....

From all the don juans experiences, what is she trying to do here? Did i respond in the right way?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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jacob

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Gdupm6 said:
Me and this girl were dating and were about to be official but she ended up saying shes not ready, blah blah blah whatever.. So after that conversation i completely changed my attitude, wasnt so friendly, wouldnt answer her texts often, I backed off big time.

So now i guess shes noticed that it hasnt been the same me who was always available, texting back right away etc...I took a trip to south beach miami with a couple of my buddies, and i get texts from her saying she misses me, sending me photos that we took together, telling me to be safe, that she always thinks of me...good night.. etc..So when i replied, i responded very concise and every couple of hours....

From all the don juans experiences, what is she trying to do here? Did i respond in the right way?
Her interest level is low, and you not responding and being unavailable will increase her interest level and attraction for you.

You said you texted her back every couple hours, that kills you being a "challenge" and makes you too available, making her lose even more interest in you.

Maybe stopped responding and texting. Make her hang for about a week and let her wonder about you which will frustrate her. Then call her, not text, and speak to her for 5-10 minutes to catch up about how busy you were on your trip, then set up a date and don't call, text until you see her in person again.

You need to be a challenge again. Infact this is what one of my girlfriends on FB posted "Boy, don't make it easy. The chase is what I like"...
 

Nutz

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Gdupm6 said:
Me and this girl were dating and were about to be official but she ended up saying shes not ready, blah blah blah whatever.. So after that conversation i completely changed my attitude, wasnt so friendly, wouldnt answer her texts often, I backed off big time.

So now i guess shes noticed that it hasnt been the same me who was always available, texting back right away etc...I took a trip to south beach miami with a couple of my buddies, and i get texts from her saying she misses me, sending me photos that we took together, telling me to be safe, that she always thinks of me...good night.. etc..So when i replied, i responded very concise and every couple of hours....

From all the don juans experiences, what is she trying to do here? Did i respond in the right way?
You were treading on being too needy/clingy from being waaaaay too available, but now you're not and reversed the frame and she's chasing. This is why guys should spin multiple plates, it keeps your attention spread around an a good level.

The person who is least invested holds the power, and her trying to back off but then you doing even more so broke her noncommittal frame. And if she was simply bluffing, your withdraw was even more impactful.
 

Gdupm6

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Exactly, little attention is exactly what she needs and that's what I've been giving her.

On another note, we both had a Facebook and I had deactivated mine a few months back because i had gotten bored and tired of it. When she told me that she didn't want to be exclusive with me after about 8 months of dating it was very tough on me, especially since i had to see her at work every other day.

I want to reactivate my facebook, i have a lot of friends on there that i keep in touch with, attend events etc.. The only reason that I am not activating it is because i am thinking maybe i should wait until i am 100% completely over her. Seeing new pics of her might bug me and get to me.. And with me not having an FB it keeps it more mysterious. What are your guys opinions on this?
 
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