What to do?

[loving]

Im at a time inn my life now where I'm sorting through all this clutter of **** in my mind, and you know what? I don't give a **** how well off all you are or what heaven youve got in your minds, but I am not there yet.

I'm just a kid and for the past 17 years of my life I've been acting like one. Those thoughts have momentum. I know recognizing that is a part of the movement forwrd, and each new recognition adds to it.

Theres lots of good advice I've gotten here, like Stop thinking so much. I'm still struggling with that one. The mind is a powerful beast and I haven't managed to fully control it yet. I'm listening to Eckhart Tolle on the subject. What of the useless chatter that goes on in there I have managed to stop has given me more of a peacefulness throughout life. The more I am in touch with not repeating the same word-for-word and visual and emotional patterns I have been used to the better I feel, go figure.

This has lead me to rethink my activities. I no longer really wanna come on forums and post, I no longe really even wanna be on my computer. I no longer wanna be sitting watching TV, and that was my life really.

Trying to clear my mind, stopping the unnecessary thinking, I know is a lifelong decision, and it has left the question in my mind of what to do now? It is something I see takes practice, but what to do in the mean time, is it simply a matter of meditating like this, isolated, until I am at peace? I have experienced this peace for brief moments myself, I know it exists. I know it is there.

I've been given the advice to go get hobbies, to play some physical sports or find things that interest me, but that's what computers and TV were to me all this time, and they seemed to more than anything distract me from everything going on around me.

Another piece of advice I've gotten here was go out and meet girls. Yeah? For what? Some kind of fulfillment? I learned my lesson from weed: anything external that gives you pleasure, in its absense will lessen your pleasure.

It seems anything I can occupy my mind with, activities or whatnot, only serve to dilute and distract from maintaining something more than just a satisfying state through my life, one that is just fine, rather than one that is great.

I want to genuinely ask you the question, why go out there and get girls? What, really, is the point?

 

[The Gamer]

The point? To have fun.

I was once quite like you around the age of 18. I got into meditation and spirituality and found quite a few legitamite enlightening expriences that have permenantly shaped me. I found what I consider to be life force of god and many other conclusions about general societal thinking. You know what though? After 2 years of putting myself through all that, I realised something. I had more FUN doing things that 'normal' people do. Socializing, sports, women, money etc. STOP RIGHT NOW! BREAK OUT OF IT! Of course THINK but stop thinking about your existence so much. Limit it to an hour a day or so and GET OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE! Start talking to strangers. Start going some physical activity (even if you hate it at first). Start eating right (plz dont be a vegan). Don't listen to theoretical **** find what ACTUALLY makes you feel good n happy and reproduce doing that.

 

[loving]

So in essense, it all has its place, and the balance is mine to find?

I believe meditation is powerful, I know so by the feelings it creates in me. If I was just sitting htere for hours thinkin and feeling normal/bad I would not think this. But shutting the self-chat off in my mind seems right on a deeper level, as a way to live, theres just too much crap out there to think about it, I've been doing it for 17 years and its gotten me to a point I don't like, mainly by complaining or fantasizing.

I believe clear-mindedness is going to be a part of my life continually, but now I am trying to find what on the physical realm is important.