What to do with her?

[Peacebewithyou]

Hey guys and gals,

College junior. Last night I was hanging out with a girl I have known since freshman year from a trip back from a cross country race. For a couple of weeks now we have been getting closer and she has told me she has feelings for me and I have told her I am interested in her. Anyhow, last night we started touching each other and we were close. However, when our coach passed us on the bus to head to the bathroom, she removed my arms from behind her head. I presumed to playfully cross my arms and maintain distance, and asked her why she made that move? She never answered. Never really touched her again. 30 minutes later, after telling her communication is key she tells me that "she does not know if this is what she wants." I say that's cool, and presume to close my eyes. We get off bus when we arrive back and we walk back to our spots. She wants to talk. I tell her I am sleepy and that we will the next day. At this point, today is the next day, and she has sent me a text telling me good morning, and that she would like to clarify some things.

What to do?

 

[kindasuave]

Find new girls

 

[Purefilth]

DONTtalk by text. arrange a meet. THAT IS THE ONLY PHONE CONTACT YOU NEED HERE!

as soon as you meet, walk up to her, put one hand on her waist, pull her close, slide one behind her neck and lean in for the kiss.

Basically its go for broke, you dont need to talk about your feelings with her.

DO NOT TALK!! ACT!!!

if you dont get the kiss then shes really not interested, and your time is better spent elsewhere.
I have told her I am interested in her.
I presumed to playfully cross my arms and maintain distance
1)do not talk, ACT!!!
2)why did you pull away? you want to be close, in her personal space, and touching her.

 

[flashpoint]

"clarify some things" .... there is basically nothing to do anymore.

 

[Peacebewithyou]

Purefilth: Yeah, we walked and talked. She basically told me she had mixed up her feelings for me with actually wanting to be just friends. I think it's BS, but I just listened to her. Had nothing to say back. Actually, she wrote me a mini-note a couple days earlier about being nervous to kiss me, but that she wanted to. I never really took initiative and was pretty hesitant, so I don't know if I had as much feelings for her as I thought. I think she sensed that and is trying to salvage some pride.

Flashpint: Yeah, maybe you're right. Clarifying meant she finalized putting me in the friend zone, until I am ready to make a move or something I guess, or maybe because she just is losing interest and becoming less patient with my hesitancy.

Kindsuave: Yeah, that is key both to find out if I really want her, and just to widen my horizons I suppose.

 

[flashpoint]

Flashpint: Yeah, maybe you're right. Clarifying meant she finalized putting me in the friend zone, until I am ready to make a move or something I guess, or maybe because she just is losing interest and becoming less patient with my hesitancy.

hm. maybe you find a way to get there first. tell her that it seems like she got the wrong idea. that you like to fool around with her and hang out and have fun and so on, but that you see her as more of a friend. and it is not her, it is just that she is not really your type. if you can pull that off

this way you could get the upper hand, make her think a bit and might still have the opportunity to make the things that turn her on when you guys are together. as "friends"

 

[Peacebewithyou]

flashpoint: so just a bit ago, I told her this seeing her randomly on campus:

"so, now that my ego has dealt with what was obviously a lie from yesterday, I have a couple of questions for you."

I went on to ask her the two questions
1. When she thought we were passing the friendship boundary life if ever
2. When did she decide she had mixed her feelings

She was flabbergasted.

I didn't wait. I just told her since she wanted to be friends, I would need to set down stipulations for this so-called "friendship"
1. I told her not to text me to indirectly hang out all the time.
2. Not to give me googlie eyes all the time
3. Not to give me long stares

I did it all with a smile.

Gave her a hug and told her to enjoy the rest of her evening.