What to do with a flake?

[seek&destroy]

Dealing with this girl...she keeps telling me she is interested, so I ask her out. Next thing I know...on the day we were supposed to go out, she texts me with a message saying "please don't hate, me but i have to cancel. i just got a job interview, so i hope you understand. im sooooo sorry . can we please reschedule?"
i texted her back several hours later saying that i understand and that if she really wants to reschedule she should call me. she texts me back saying "i do. please don't be mad, i will make it up to you."

what do i do fellas? this is the second time she's cancelled on me in one week...something always seems to come up (both times). nexting her wouldn't be a problem, but i will have to deal with her for the next few years on a daily basis, so no contact would not be an option.

 

[Gray The Prince]

You have 2 options:


1. 3rd time's the charm! Give her one more chance

OR
2. next her. Spin more plates and she'll see what she missed out on.

 

[jophil28]

Dealing with this girl...she keeps telling me she is interested, so I ask her out. Next thing I know...on the day we were supposed to go out, she texts me with a message saying "please don't hate, me but i have to cancel. i just got a job interview, so i hope you understand. im sooooo sorry . can we please reschedule?"
i texted her back several hours later saying that i understand and that if she really wants to reschedule she should call me. she texts me back saying "i do. please don't be mad, i will make it up to you."

what do i do fellas? this is the second time she's cancelled on me in one week...something always seems to come up (both times). nexting her wouldn't be a problem, but i will have to deal with her for the next few years on a daily basis, so no contact would not be an option.

\
The "2 strikes " rule is designed especially for lost souls like you.

 

[5string]

Tell her to "flake off".

 

[Kailex]

So what if you have to see her for the next few years? HER LOSS.

You shouldn't feel bad about a single thing. You put in the effort twice, she cancelled twice. That's it.

Problem with telling her to call you when she is available is you just handed over whatever was left of your frame to her. She'll call you... maybe... one day when she's bored and she has no other options. When that day comes, you tell her that you are busy and that you'll call her back on a day that is more convinient to you.

Other than that, two strikes and she's out.

Hell, I bet if you two talk and you ask details about her "job interview", she'd probably make up some company on the fly.

And please, don't say that nexting her is not a problem and then include a statement right after declaring why it might be a problem. It's one or the other, not BOTH.

 

[Iceberg]

Is this the same girl who you were thinking about buying a birthday card for, fighting a douchebag in your class for, and the same girl who ignored your phone calls previously?

Is this the same girl?

If nexting her wasn't a problem, you would have done it a month ago when you first started obsessing over her. Even if you DID end up dating her, she seems like a waste of time. But hey, maybe 503rd time is a charm, right?

 

[Poonani Maker]

I'm always like "that's ok" and "no problem" bc I have others and she Knows it. This makes her continue contact with me even though I may not want her to, until the opportunity arises to fvck her i.e. no other plates to fvck.

 

[joe henny]

You have problems with your ego. Stop worrying about her if she hits you she hits you if she doesn't she doesn't. By deleting her number out of your phone that shows she has that much power in your life that you go out your way to delete her number. Let her have no effect in your life.

 

[maqnetik]

stop letting her flake on you by not being one of her options

 

[seek&destroy]

Yeah it is the same girl, and I am seeing another girl on the side as well...and she knows it. That is probably why she keeps on giving me mixed signals, because she's trying to work her way back to the top of my list, but right now that's not going to happen.
We are going to a bar tonight and she said she'd be there, so I will see where this will go tonight!

 

[Mantis Toboggan]

Yeah it is the same girl, and I am seeing another girl on the side as well...and she knows it. That is probably why she keeps on giving me mixed signals, because she's trying to work her way back to the top of my list, but right now that's not going to happen.
We are going to a bar tonight and she said she'd be there, so I will see where this will go tonight!

So you're going to a bar WITH HER or you're going to a bar with a group of people, and hoping that she shows up? I mean shyt, why even invite her? She's not "one of the guys", she's someone you're trying to bang.

The less time you spend isolated with her, the more you become a "friend".

 

[maqnetik]

So you're going to a bar WITH HER or you're going to a bar with a group of people, and hoping that she shows up? I mean shyt, why even invite her? She's not "one of the guys", she's someone you're trying to bang.

The less time you spend isolated with her, the more you become a "friend".

thats game player



its basic math not quantum theory

 

[seek&destroy]

She already has a ticket and a few of us are going together, one guy with a girlfriend and a couple of her friends are coming too. It's going to be a good night, that's for sure. Plus if I get nothing from her, I can start paying more attention to her friend(s)...we'll see where this goes!

 

[seek&destroy]

She came with us last night, but didn't bring any of her friends, it was just my buddy with his girl, her and me. We had a few shots and we danced...but I learned that I cannot dance at all which was kind of funny. Today, she didn't talk much...I get a negative vibe coming from her, but it's probably just me. She thinks I was pissed because she couldn't come last time, but I couldn't have cared less.

By the way...I can no-contact her for a whole week 2 weeks from tomorrow, since we have our mid-semester break then. I asked her about the interview, and then I asked her when she is free so that we can go out, and she replies with "I don't know." She might be trying to play me, but either way I'm confused. I will completely take the no contact road until the school resumes and then ask her to come out. She is still reeling from her last relationship and has major trust issues, keeps saying she likes me and wants to go out only to cancel at the last minute twice in a row.

When I started seeing another girl, this one came back to me, but I just broke off contact with the other chick to focus on the first one, and she starts blowing me off again.

 

[Thundernuts]

look man, you got two options like Gray the prince.

1. Next her-there are other girls out there and if she sees that you already got someone else shell want you more so you might just end up with her anyways depending on how things go.

2. One more shot- the two strike rule is a guideline as is everything else. This would be a good chance to see if she is really feeding her bull****, bottom line life does happen, but if something happens to her three different times in such a short period then she is lieing for sure.

Personally i would just next her, she might see how stupid she was and by that time youll be unavailable wich will make her want you more, or the both of you will realise it wasn't gonna happen and seeing her for years won't be a problem. Either way at this point you don't have anything to lose so don't worry about it.

 

[Iceberg]

I asked her when she is free so that we can go out, and she replies with "I don't know." She might be trying to play me, but either way I'm confused.

What's there to be confused about? You asked her out for a third time, and got the same flakiness that you've been getting all along.

What I'M confused about is where do you see things going with this girl. If it's this hard to get her out just for a DATE then imagine what it'll be like to get her pants off...then imagine what it'll be like to get her to commit to you emotionally.

I will completely take the no contact road until the school resumes and then ask her to come out.

Oh. So fourth time is the charm now?

She is still reeling from her last relationship and has major trust issues, keeps saying she likes me and wants to go out only to cancel at the last minute twice in a row.

What she does weighs 100x more heavily than what she says. And what she's doing is blowing you off...basically every single chance she gets. And here you are talking about going no contact for a bit...and then asking her out again. You realize how crazy that sounds?

When this girl meets a guy she likes, watch how quickly she stops "reeling about her last relationship" and how quickly she forgets about her "major trust issues."

When I started seeing another girl, this one came back to me, but I just broke off contact with the other chick to focus on the first one, and she starts blowing me off again.

This one never "came back to you" because she was never yours in the first place.

And I'm gonna guess that you never "started seeing another girl" in the sense that you were having sex with her. Because you would have never left a sexual relationship to pursue some flaky girl who doesn't like you.

 

[terran2k]

if you gotta deal with her on a daily basis, I say don't go any further, you're digging a pretty deep hole for yourself.

 

[seek&destroy]

I don't know anymore. I talked to my buddy and he suggested that this ***** might be throwing **** tests at me to see how I will react to her flaking. He told me to just start talking about my other dates and how much fun I had with those girls, and it should be fairly easy to get her back that way. Even ask her for relationship advice. That way she can see that I am not just chasing her...i have a whole week on my own to make up my mind, and I fully intend to do so. No contact, whatsoever for a week, combined with going on dates with other women should set my head straight so that way when I come back I can show her that she was never the only option there for me to begin with.

 

[Mantis Toboggan]

I don't know anymore. I talked to my buddy and he suggested that this ***** might be throwing **** tests at me to see how I will react to her flaking. He told me to just start talking about my other dates and how much fun I had with those girls, and it should be fairly easy to get her back that way. Even ask her for relationship advice. That way she can see that I am not just chasing her...i have a whole week on my own to make up my mind, and I fully intend to do so. No contact, whatsoever for a week, combined with going on dates with other women should set my head straight so that way when I come back I can show her that she was never the only option there for me to begin with.

Dude are you retarded?

Why are you trying to show her anything? Why are you trying to prove yourself to a woman who has no interest in you? Flaking is not a s*** test. A s**t test might be showing up late, speaking over you, acting rebellious. It's not flat-out refusing to date you. That's what we call REJECTION.

And even if it were a s*** test, why would you want to date a person who's idea of testing you is f**king with your emotions and making you jump through hoops to get her to spend some one-on-one time with you? You're a f'king man. Show some pride.

This girl has given you every opportunity to acknowledge that she is poisonous and that you should cut ties from the situation. Yet here you are still trying to concoct ways to get her attention.

I hope you do end up dating this girl. Just so you get burned and learn the hard way.

 

[seek&destroy]

She keeps talking to me and telling me that she likes me though, but keeps acting cold. I was thinking about confronting her about this hot/cold behavior and let her know how she's treating me, and how this is just unacceptable. I want to tell her that if she is afraid that she will hurt me by saying no, that she doesn't have to worry about that. Saying no to someone you're not interested in is far better than leading that person on, but she is clearly the type of person who gets off on this kind of behavour. ****ing slut!