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Don't let self-fulfilling prophecies rule your life. The whole point to all this reading material is to get you to stop thinking that way. Everyone eventually runs into the problem your facing, but you need to see the bigger picture--what that is, only you can know.Maxtro said:Honestly I'm looking for the "magic answer" that is probably not going to come.
Then start practicing this stuff! That's why I suggested ignoring her. You need to SEE what happens when a girl who is used to your attention stops getting your attention. You need to experience this stuff. Here is an opportunity. It's an experiment. I don't think it's gonna happen with this chick. So, WATCH what she does. Start paying more attention to what her behavior is, other than what you WISH it would BE.Maxtro said:I don't think those terms have any use until you start seeing them on a personal level.
Not true. They just do it---in a covert way. The fact that she's not hanging around you, means she's not pursuing. If she was bumping into you accidentally, asking you stupid questions about the class.... then she may be pursuing. Or at least trying to get your attention.Maxtro said:That's easy. But I'm 99% sure that if I did that I would never get anywhere with her. I know that I haven't gone far enough with her for her to notice that I'm ignoring her but I must have made some impression with her if she is acting differently towards me.
I agree that girls do not pursue men.
AHA!!! This here is your problem!!!Maxtro said:I feel that if I don't play the friend game first then I'd never get anywhere with a girl. How to pursue a girl romantically is something I haven't learned yet.
I don't want it to be a self-fulfilling prophecy. I want to find out what I'm doing wrong, how to fix it, and how to make sure it never happens again.LuckyBob said:Don't let self-fulfilling prophecies rule your life. The whole point to all this reading material is to get you to stop thinking that way. Everyone eventually runs into the problem your facing, but you need to see the bigger picture--what that is, only you can know.
Ah, but I do not think that she is used to my attention or even wanted it or if she even realizes that it is gone. If I never gave her attention again she has about 4 other guys sitting around her who would. I doubt I have left enough of a mark on her for her to notice that something is missing.reset said:Then start practicing this stuff! That's why I suggested ignoring her. You need to SEE what happens when a girl who is used to your attention stops getting your attention. You need to experience this stuff. Here is an opportunity. It's an experiment. I don't think it's gonna happen with this chick. So, WATCH what she does. Start paying more attention to what her behavior is, other than what you WISH it would BE.
The more I read the more I get confused. I need to do something to show her that I am the prize. My head is a mess. She was doing some of the things you mentioned last semester. She did seem happier to see me back then.reset said:Not true. They just do it---in a covert way. The fact that she's not hanging around you, means she's not pursuing. If she was bumping into you accidentally, asking you stupid questions about the class.... then she may be pursuing. Or at least trying to get your attention.
You've got it backwards. The more you try to convince her you're worthy, the more she wants to run away.
Give up on this one. Let this be the first girl you learn to not care if you don't get.
Andromax said:"Why did you not escalate with this girl if you liked her? It should not take more than a few weeks in a class if you are interested in her to find out if she is interested in you or not.
That pretty much sums it up. I was waiting for a risk free opportunity. And I realize how stupid it is. I haven't given her any gifts or declarations of love. I've pretty much done the opposite, not wanting her to know my affection.Fifteen Lessons by Pook said:"Pook, I cannot. You see… I am insecure. I don’t have that confidence!”
“You are confusing CAUSE and EFFECT. The CAUSE of your hesitant nature is not because of your insecurity. You have not gotten what you’ve wanted, what you’ve desired. THAT is the cause of your hesitant nature.”
“What?”
“You are caught in the vicious cycle. You are hesitant because you are not used for things going your way. And things will never go your way because you remain hesitant. You see what you want, become hesitant, and the door of opportunity closes. It happens again. And again. And again. With each choice towards Inaction, you reject yourself a little bit more.”
Pook continued. “This is where that cycle of hesitation leads. In your world of Hesitation, you shred off more and more of your manliness until you turn into a full-fledged Nice Guy. Then you seek to remove hesitation by making the approach risk free. Then you start giving gifts, poetry, flowers, and declarations of love. You start to examine and re-examine non-existent signals until they read the way you want them to read. In the end, you place her on the pedestal and throw yourself to her worship.
Makes sense. Didn't know that you could be nexted before you even made a move. There is so little I know about women.Andromax said:I guaruntee that she knows you like her, and that you are too nervous to ask her out. She is avoiding you because like another poster pointed out, she is getting attention from other guys whom she hopes has the balls to seduce her. And you clinging to her is only going to server as a c0ckblock... she nexted you bro, forget about her and focus your energies elsewhere.
Backwards. Guys that see themselves as the prize, don't try to do "something special" to show a chick ANYTHING. At this point you want to learn to adopt that mindset. You don't have it yet, that's fine.Maxtro said:The more I read the more I get confused. I need to do something to show her that I am the prize. My head is a mess.
Man, I see you are pretty hit by this ****. I feel for you.Maxtro said:That actually makes since. I might have become too obvious and I was really trying to not show anything because I did not want this to happen. I have sub-consciously training myself to not show any interest in girls because I have been rejected by every girl I've ever liked. I guess somewhere in me I believed that I was better off becoming their friend then maybe we could get some benefits. And now I wasn't able to ever become friends.
But would they be interested or would my fun little cycle keep repeating?
Exactly and that is the reason women have sooo much power over men.Maxtro said:Based on my life experiences girls do not peruse guys and they just live their lives accepting and rejecting men who are perusing them.