What to do when you think a girl is avoiding you?

[Maxtro]

There is a girl in my math class who've I known for several months. We basically sat next to each other and talked everyday in last semester. We never became more than school acquaintances though. I'm with her again this semester. For the first month or so I sat next to her and talked to her like it was normal.

But ever since last week I'm really starting to get the impression that she is avoiding me. Outside of class when I try to talk to her she seems to be in a hurry or she pretends that she doesn't see me. I barely spoke to her at all last week and I didn't say a thing to her today. I feel like I'm getting a cold vibe from her.

I have no idea how to deal with this kind of situation. One thing that certainly hasn't helped is now she suddenly became very popular with the other guys in the class. She's always talking to different dudes who obviously want her as they ask her stupid questions in class. That doesn't bug me that much.

What gets me is that the connection I thought we had, is now gone and I have no idea what happened or how to fix it. I'm pretty much ready to write her off as a loss. But every girl I have known has also been written of as a loss. While I really doubt that I'll ever get her, the most important thing that I want to figure out is where the hell I'm going wrong with girls. I don't want this same thing to happen to the next girl I'm interested in.

 

[DonGorgon]

women are like that... they dont need you and can easily like you today and hate you tomorrow... The trick is to do this to them before they do it to you.

 

[Maxtro]

Why would I want to hate them when I'm after what's between their legs?

 

[DonGorgon]

^^ I mean push and pull them ... be mean then nice then mean then nice.... etc.

 

[MooseGod]

Why would I want to hate them when I'm after what's between their legs?

You don't have to hate her, just mirror her behavior... If I were you I would still try to seem somewhat receptive, but don't go out of your way to talk to her. Flirt with some of the other girls in the class. Rub her nose in what she's missing (metaphorically speaking of course, unless she's into that kinda thing...)

 

[DJDamage]

There is a girl in my math class who've I known for several months. We basically sat next to each other and talked everyday in last semester. We never became more than school acquaintances though.

This is what happens when you wait too long. She became comfortable around you as a FRIEND. You did not esscalate but choosen to remain in a static mood hoping for a miracle that somehow she will give you strong buying signals which never came (and rarley do they ever come especially when its an attractive girl). Now she wants to hook up with other men who will step up to the plate and you are forcing her to talk to you thus c0ckblocking potential suiters (whom she does not want them to think you are with her).

Next time don't wait soo long.

 

[Maxtro]

Actually I have been mirroring her behavior by not paying attention to her and she hasn't exactly been crawling on me. Flirting with other girls does seem like a nice alternative but then I'd have to sit on the other side of the room and I doubt she would even notice. The other girls are also nowhere as cute as she is.

The problem with the push pull thing is that the other person has to care about you for it to mean anything. If I don't go out of my way to talk to her, that won't make her go out of hers to talk to me. I know that I have a lot more interest in her than she does me. I do want to say or do something that gets her to notice me and think of me in a better light.

This is what happens when you wait too long. She became comfortable around you as a FRIEND. You did not esscalate but choosen to remain in a static mood hoping for a miracle that somehow she will give you strong buying signals which never came (and rarley do they ever come especially when its an attractive girl). Now she wants to hook up with other men who will step up to the plate and you are forcing her to talk to you thus c0ckblocking potential suiters (whom she does not want them to think you are with her).

Next time don't wait soo long.

Yeah I was waiting for some buying signal I never got it or I never realized. I don't know about her thinking that I am cockblocking other dudes.

I'm wondering that maybe she somehow figured out that I was into her and that set made her dislike me.

 

[MooseGod]

The point isn't to ignore her to make her want you, the point is to ignore her because she's being a ***** and that's not cool.

The point of talking to other chicks/dudes is because this girl is an attention ***** and other people are worth talking to as well, even if you have no intention to **** them.

Maybe she doesn't like you anymore, but so what? There's lots of girls that like you that you probably don't like, and they're not losing any sleep at night.

 

[Maxtro]

I have been thinking that she was acting like a bitch to me and it is definitely not cool. The only reason that I even care is that she is so hot and that she was the closest thing I had to a female friend in a long time. The fact that I really want her doesn't make things easier. I don't think that she is an attention whore though. It's not her fault that guys are drawn to her and want to talk to her. She's just really friendly and will talk to anybody.

What hurt the most was when I realized that talking to her and spending some time with her was nothing special as she would do that with anybody. I thought I was being different.

I'm going to change my seat next class so that she will be able to better see what I'm doing. Basically force her to interact with me and I'll talk to other people as it's kind of hard to do that in the very back of the class.

Maybe she doesn't like you anymore, but so what? There's lots of girls that like you that you probably don't like, and they're not losing any sleep at night.

I know I shouldn't care that she doesn't like me. But the problem is that no girls have liked me. I'm so fucking tired of being single that I want to start making progress. Every loss is painful. I want to stop saying "I'll get the next one."

I would like almost any girl that likes me as long as she isn't butt ugly or twice my size.

 

[DJDamage]

I'm wondering that maybe she somehow figured out that I was into her and that set made her dislike me.

If you already know her, you are supposed to like her, that's normal.

You and her might have had a different percpective on the situation. As another poster said, she might have been an attention wh0re and until she found other people in the class you were the only outlet where she got attention. Think of her like a child who follow anyone with the latest shiney toy.

Just act cool, don't go out of your way to say hi to her but if she says hi back, you can be polite, crack a joke or two and move on. The secret in having a good conversation and looking good is that you don't stay at one spot too long and exhust whatever conversation you had until you have nothing to talk about. You always want to leave early and make them wanting more.

 

[Maxtro]

I was killing time on the forum and I ran into a great thread by bondjamesbond. Is it applicable to my situation?

Some guys know all this simple stuff, but they become a creep.....can't take "no" for an answer, always calling or coming around. They've somehow convinced themselves that if they "Just say that right thing" that a chick will fall at their feet.

A real man knows when to walk away and stop wasting time. The idiot will drum up a hundred reasons in his head why a chick is acting cold towards him but will never accept the bottom line: She doesn't want to f**k with you.

Before you get to bang one of them, you have to get used to the routine.

Wow, what an eye opener. I wonder if I have drifted into the creep territory with the girl I know. I don't know if that's possible because I haven't made a move on her.

The other part that bugs me is the last line. I know that she doesn't want to fuck me, now. If I asked every girl I know if they want to have sex with me I know that they will all say no. When do I know that their no means, no and now chance in the future?

 

[reset]

What are you doing that would make her pursue you?

 

[Maxtro]

Since I have no idea what causes a girl to peruse a guy, all I can say is nothing.

Based on my life experiences girls do not peruse guys and they just live their lives accepting and rejecting men who are perusing them.

 

[mutambo]

You can do beter. Stop wasting precious thinking of YOUR time on her. Read a book/ watch tv get your head drifting off. Pump some iron, do whatever. Seeing the way you analyse and think, I personally believe you did not come of as a creep, she just a chick and freaked out or something (who the hell cares if she isnt smart enough to realise that your the SH*t).
Anyway had something similar happen to me, just let it and ignored er. It Benefits both ends and if she ever comes around you'll find out if not you already forgot who it was. Dont try to fix something thats broken, create something new

 

[reset]

Since I have no idea what causes a girl to peruse a guy, all I can say is nothing.

So after 1132 posts over four years, you don't know about challenge, not being too available, and the difference between non-masculine and masculine behavior? I doubt that.

I agree with DJ Damage, you didn't know what you were doing so whatever. What you do now is ignore her, when you see her be polite, smile, whatever. Don't be mean. But just act like she rejected you and you're moving on with your life. After a while, you may start to notice some changes in her behavior. Not necessarily signs that she's interested, but you may notice certain things. But you have to start not paying attention to this chick unless she approaches you first. That's my take.

 

[Last Man Standing]

Quit talking to girls like a friend and start pursuing them romantically!! She owes you nothing - nothing ventured - nothing gained!!

Men pursue - women follow!! Women do not pursue!!

 

[reset]

If I don't go out of my way to talk to her, that won't make her go out of hers to talk to me. I know that I have a lot more interest in her than she does me. I do want to say or do something that gets her to notice me and think of me in a better light.

That's a problem. Part of being a DJ is learning to move on when the girl doesn't return your interest, not trying to convince her to like you. And I'm sure you know by now that trying really hard makes you less attractive, not more.

Why do you WANT a girl who is not interested in you? She has crappy taste. Right? Why do you want a chick with crappy taste?

 

[ChapStick]

From my experience... When some chick I don't like is sitting near me.. I'll be nice until she gets flirty and I get disgusted when I know she is into me, then I'll shut her out and she feels annoying to me, but that's just me.

She's not interested. Move on bro. Plenty of beautiful girls out there

 

[Maxtro]

LOOOOOL... i used to think so too when I was an afc/symp/loser/nred.

put some muscle on your body and watch women drool at you and chase you. :rockon:

Yeah I'm a recovering AFC/nerd/loser/ not sure what symp is though.

I am working out, trying to get rid of fat and build muscle. But it's a slow process. I do look better with my shirt off then I did 6-months ago.

You can do beter. Stop wasting precious thinking of YOUR time on her. Read a book/ watch tv get your head drifting off. Pump some iron, do whatever. Seeing the way you analyse and think, I personally believe you did not come of as a creep, she just a chick and freaked out or something (who the hell cares if she isnt smart enough to realise that your the SH*t).
Anyway had something similar happen to me, just let it and ignored er. It Benefits both ends and if she ever comes around you'll find out if not you already forgot who it was. Dont try to fix something thats broken, create something new

Right now I got a lot of homework and I'm studying for tests. Unfortunately this stuff is so boring I can't keep my mind occupied and she drifts in. I don't think I am off as a creep either but I don't understand how she got freaked out. As far as I know I didn't do anything. I know it might be too late to fix it, but my main goal is to make sure it doesn't get broken with the next girl I meet.

So after 1132 posts over four years, you don't know about challenge, not being too available, and the difference between non-masculine and masculine behavior? I doubt that.

I've read about being a challenge, not being too available. But I've never found the information to be applicable. The simple fact that I never see her outside of class means that I'm not too available. I don't think those terms have any use until you start seeing them on a personal level. As for masculine behavior. I think I show nothing but masculine behavior when I'm in public. I also force myself to be more outgoing than I really am, but it's not as much as I want to be.

But you have to start not paying attention to this chick unless she approaches you first. That's my take.

That's easy. But I'm 99% sure that if I did that I would never get anywhere with her. I know that I haven't gone far enough with her for her to notice that I'm ignoring her but I must have made some impression with her if she is acting differently towards me.

Quit talking to girls like a friend and start pursuing them romantically!! She owes you nothing - nothing ventured - nothing gained!!

Men pursue - women follow!! Women do not pursue!!

I feel that if I don't play the friend game first then I'd never get anywhere with a girl. How to pursue a girl romantically is something I haven't learned yet.

I agree that girls do not pursue men.

That's a problem. Part of being a DJ is learning to move on when the girl doesn't return your interest, not trying to convince her to like you. And I'm sure you know by now that trying really hard makes you less attractive, not more.

If she had actually rejected me I would move on. As for them not returning my interest. No girls have ever returned my interest. If i can't "convince" them to like me how am I ever supposed to get laid?

Why do you WANT a girl who is not interested in you? She has crappy taste. Right? Why do you want a chick with crappy taste?

Because she is one of, if not the hottest girl I have ever met. Based on her looks she is 100% my ideal woman. She also has a cool personality and I know that we have a lot of things in common.

But even if I did get her, I'd only date her until the summer then I'd move away. I really want to put one in the win column. I want to know that I actually got a girl for once. I desperately need a confidence boost. And I feel that it can only come from getting a girl.

From my experience... When some chick I don't like is sitting near me.. I'll be nice until she gets flirty and I get disgusted when I know she is into me, then I'll shut her out and she feels annoying to me, but that's just me.

That actually makes since. I might have become too obvious and I was really trying to not show anything because I did not want this to happen. I have sub-consciously training myself to not show any interest in girls because I have been rejected by every girl I've ever liked. I guess somewhere in me I believed that I was better off becoming their friend then maybe we could get some benefits. And now I wasn't able to ever become friends.

She's not interested. Move on bro. Plenty of beautiful girls out there

But would they be interested or would my fun little cycle keep repeating?

 

[DonJuan11]

Since I have no idea what causes a girl to peruse a guy, all I can say is nothing.

1000+ posts on sosuave and you don't know? Dude I have a feeling you are playing us or really playing up the pity card.