What to do when you are in a slump....

[RangerMIke]

We all go through periods of being up and down... right now I've been having a string of bad dates and low interest chicks. Lost one of my GFs... now down to two, and I get a sense I'm about to drop another (We had that stupid 'what are we' talk last week, history says she's about to move on to a commitment dude)

Anyway... so what do you do when this happens? Your natural inclination will be to lower your standards and start going after chicks you KNOW you can get. I don't know about most men, but for me this only screws me up. I get to a place where I don't have to try too hard, I get lazy and complacent. Prolonging the slump with women that I am really interested in.

What works for me is swinging for the fences. I start going after women that are not giving me strong indicators of interest. I don't chase them, but I will make a run at them. I become pickier rather than easier. I raise my standards. We'll see how it goes for me this go round, but would love to hear how other bust out of slumps.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Let me be the first to rip on you for boo hoo'ing about only have two girlfriends

Secondly, my military experience is limited to a few rotc classes in college. But I do remember something called an "after action review," where mission success and failures are analyzed afterward. If you had bad dates, ask yourself why they were bad. What went wrong in you making the choice to pick those women to date? I don't know the answer, nor expect you to have all the answers, but those are the questions to be asking. Unless you are throwing dice or spinning a roulette wheel, I think "luck" is a dangerous concept. When you attribute things going poorly to just being down on your luck, it keeps you from being able to make the needed adjustments to change that luck.

Finally, to answer your question, I would probably try to find women that I enjoyed being around, who were not just trying to use their body to bait me into commitment.

 

[Glassguy]

When the plate situation goes on a slight decline I give the other things in my life more time/attention. Golf, boating, fishing, hunting, my daughter's sports, my business etc.

All of those things make me as equally as happy as spinning a plate.

The key for me is to keeping looking ahead, not let my own personal happiness level sputter and also realize that it's part of the game with women. One week 5 on the hook, the next week 1. There is always a better one out there around the corner.

It's a marathon not a sprint. Sprinters wear themselves out of the race. The steady eddies will always push on.

 

[TheProspect]

How do you get out of a slump? By keeping busy (productively), and constant self-improvement. The particular nature of what those things may look like can only be determined by the individual, so I won't specifically make any suggestions.

But if you're doing things that are congruent with those two things, you're on the quickest path to get out of a slump. Even then, sometimes you just need to accept and endure the lows because they are what contrast and make the highs so appealing and enjoyable.

Preoccupy yourself with your ambitions and take daily action to move towards your goals, take up side hobbies or activities that help you grow or improve yourself in any aspect. You'll be able to make progress on a daily basis. And progress equals happiness. And happiness is a choice.

 

[guru1000]

We all go through periods of being up and down... right now I've been having a string of bad dates and low interest chicks. Lost one of my GFs... now down to two, and I get a sense I'm about to drop another (We had that stupid 'what are we' talk last week, history says she's about to move on to a commitment dude)

Anyway... so what do you do when this happens? Your natural inclination will be to lower your standards and start going after chicks you KNOW you can get. I don't know about most men, but for me this only screws me up. I get to a place where I don't have to try too hard, I get lazy and complacent. Prolonging the slump with women that I am really interested in.

What works for me is swinging for the fences. I start going after women that are not giving me strong indicators of interest. I don't chase them, but I will make a run at them. I become pickier rather than easier. I raise my standards. We'll see how it goes for me this go round, but would love to hear how other bust out of slumps.

This happens to challenge the extent you are truly invested in your higher value. In moments like these ... where you are now fully conscious, you can transcend ... if you play your cards right ... and that is to Aim Higher.

Yes I know, the universe is paradoxical.

 

[TheGambino]

The key of this having things going on in your life, hobbies, challenges in Work. Focus on yourself now, gym. Your a DJ bro, youll run in a new dime soon that your going to close and lure in your orbit. Player and abundance mindset is key

 

[RangerMIke]

... And just like that, sh!t turns around. A chick that drifted off a year ago comes back. Another that I walked away from because she was making things hard, calls for a date. I think the thing to remember about these roller-coaster periods is don;t slap yourself on you back too much when things are going well, and don't beat yourself up when things go sideways... just keep being who you are and things balance out.

You can not do anything about the emotional whims of chicks. It's like the weather... you can not will the Sun to shine or the rain to stop.

 

[That_dude]

I usually take a step back and just chill. Focus on me. Seems like soon as you stop stressing, good things start happening

 

[Von]

Just keep active, things will happens... and the wind will send you back plates

The only things that matters... is you picking because you WANT it.... and not because you in scarcity mode and desperate.

So keep moving and life will send you good plate to put dishes on

 

[Red Legg]

NOT being in a slump (with women) can actually be an overall negative in your life if you don't hold immaculate frame,sometimes I wish for a break or slump lol....like if I get a girlfriend who can cook I might put on weight and let other goals slip or become "stagnant." Being "red pilled" I can see a "slump" as a breath of fresh air.

 

[That_dude]

Just keep active, things will happens... and the wind will send you back plates

The only things that matters... is you picking because you WANT it.... and not because you in scarcity mode and desperate.

So keep moving and life will send you good plate to put dishes on

And the wind shall send you back plates

 

[ubercat]

Yeah I've always said that job hunting is like dating and vice a versa. Most of the time why you get the job has nothing to do with you but claim the credit anyway it would be rude not to. And rejection often has nothing to do with you either. Enjoy the little jokes of life and let the randomness of the Universe and women provide.

 

[Serenity]

@Glassguy nailed it. The best way is to not get into a slump in the first place by not depending your happiness upon getting women. Women come and go, nobody is successful with them at all times, but many other activities are always available.

If you're in a down period and you feel your happiness is decreasing, give yourself a break to recharge by doing something else for a little while. Then you'll go back in feeling refreshed, confident and motivated, something that will probably help. If you just keep unsuccessfully grinding you'll just feel more drained which probably leads to even less success.

Basically don't try so hard.

 

[That_dude]

@Glassguy nailed it. The best way is to not get into a slump in the first place by not depending your happiness upon getting women. Women come and go, nobody is successful with them at all times, but many other activities are always available.

If you're in a down period and you feel your happiness is decreasing, give yourself a break to recharge by doing something else for a little while. Then you'll go back in feeling refreshed, confident and motivated, something that will probably help. If you just keep unsuccessfully grinding you'll just feel more drained which probably leads to even less success.

Basically don't try so hard.

Spot on imo

 

[A 3% Percent Man]

Nice read. Great advises all around.