"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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What to do when girl becomes too attached?

M

MacDonald

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We've been going out for a few months now. She's attractive and sweet and so on. She's quite a catch, actually.

But I'm not sure how I feel about her. I LIKE her a lot, but I don't forsee it getting any deeper than that.

But, she is REALLY into me. She just sent me an email that was very full of deep emotions. Honestly, it makes me a little uneasy. Hell, I just want to have fun; I'm not ready for anything deep. I don't want to stop seeing her because I enjoy being with her and we have fun, but I think she is feeling love. I think that because she told me she only loved one guy in her past, and she has since told me she feels about me unlike she has felt about anyone before. She has never directly told me, though. I'm sure as hell not going to say it, either. But I can just tell.

I know some of you guys have been in this situation so you know how I feel. I care for her deeply and it would pain me to hurt her, but I don't think I will ever "love" her. I feel as though I'm leading her on.

I'm going to see her in a few days and I was looking forward to it, until I got the email. She sent me her feelings and I can't send any back.

I'm going to talk to her about it, I think, but I don't know what to say. I want to continue seeing her because I do enjoy her company. I need some advice on how to go about this.

I don't like having control over someone's feeling.

Any advice will be helpful.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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F

flyjesta81

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hey bro I wish I could help you out, I am in the exact same situation, this chic tells me she loves me and everything, but I am not sure if I love her that way. but everytime i try 2 break it off she gets wayyyyyy emotional, so i dont know what 2 do, the sex is great but, she needs a life!
 
K

killerasp

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fellas..im in the same freaking boat as you two.

this girl i am seeing is getting way too attached to me. she was moving too fast than i was comfortable with. i just sat her down and told her the truth. i told her that i enjoy the time i spend with her..its just too much too fast for me and i wanted to slow things down. She was fine with it. She was happy that i told her the truth instead of giving her the run around..ignoring her,etc. Just tell her the truth, she deserves to be told the truth.
 
H

HuuBinh

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the remedy here is to act AFC, it may not work instantly, but with continual afcish behavior, she'll lose interest.
 
S

ScrewIt

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u sure she's not going through an infatuation stage??

anyway dude, it's not your fault she's attracted to you.
dont think that you're trying to string her along cause those were not your intentions.

have you forgotten attraction is illogical?

cont hanging out w/her maybe you'll end up likng her.
or if not....just let things be. if she confesses her feelings, just tell her you consider her a good friend.

better yet do the LJBF thing that girls do to guys all the time...do it unto her!! or say jee ____ you're really a sweet friend....they'll get the picture.

I doubt that acting AFC will work. Once someone likes you, they are blinded and dont see your flaws UNTIL they stop liking you.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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M

MacDonald

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Thanks for the replies.

Tommorrow I'm going to see her. I'm going to talk to her about it but I'm not sure what to say.

Hopefully it will all work out.
 
M

MacDonald

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Originally posted by ScrewIt
u sure she's not going through an infatuation stage??

anyway dude, it's not your fault she's attracted to you.
dont think that you're trying to string her along cause those were not your intentions.

have you forgotten attraction is illogical?

cont hanging out w/her maybe you'll end up likng her.
or if not....just let things be. if she confesses her feelings, just tell her you consider her a good friend.

better yet do the LJBF thing that girls do to guys all the time...do it unto her!! or say jee ____ you're really a sweet friend....they'll get the picture.

I doubt that acting AFC will work. Once someone likes you, they are blinded and dont see your flaws UNTIL they stop liking you.
Click to expand...
It could be just infatuation. I don't think it is, though.

All I wanted to do was spend more time with her to see if I had any deeper feelings for her. Then I got her letter. And how long could it take to "fall" for someone? I kind of think I would have by now if I was going to.

And she has had some hard times recently and I would feel terrible to hurt her.

It's a bad situation.
 
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