"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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What To Do Next?

lloyd_bank$

Don Juan
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There is a girl I really get on with, she's really flirtatious with me. I've known her quite a while, could never really tell if she liked me or not, so I decided it was time to make a move. One night I saw her in a club, I was gonna make a move - then found out she has a new boyfriend.

This was around 6 weeks ago - she admits this is a long time for her to still be with a boyfriend (she's only young - 17).
I recently found out through the girl's best friend, that she actually does like me but, she has a boyfriend! Also, I met another friend of theirs who seemed to like me a while back. I wasn't really interested in her. After this though, when I was really drunk, I asked the girl's best friend if I could have the other friend's number. She said she wouldn't do that to the (original) girl because she would kill her, cos she likes me!! This seems strange. If she has a boyfriend, she must really like me if it would bother her seeing me with someone else!!

Anyway, what should my course of action be now? Should I just be patient, and wait for the relationship to end? (which it will do eventually) But then I could just be waiting for a long time. I really like this girl, and not many girls ever seem to like me. So it would seem a waste for me to just NEXT, or forget about her.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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NRM

Master Don Juan
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Quit being so stupid.

If she liked you MORE than she liked her boyfriend, she wouldn't be with him RIGHT NOW. If she liked you so much, why would she ever choose him over you?

If she really likes you, then you should just ask her on a date, and then go in for the kiss and see what happens from there. Ignore the boyfriend. If she agrees to go out on a date, then she must not care about her boyfriend much, but I think she'll have the common sense to turn you down. A girl doesn't turn down guys she's interested in. So just go through the normal routine and find out for yourself.
 

jakeyboy

Master Don Juan
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If she liked you MORE than she liked her boyfriend, she wouldn't be with him RIGHT NOW. If she liked you so much, why would she ever choose him over you?
yep. well said.
 

lloyd_bank$

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Maybe it was never a case of her choosing him over me. Maybe he just made a move first!! And fair play to him.

Also, I think her being so young, means that she will just go out with someone, for the sake of having a boyfriend. Her best friend is the same!!
 

Porky

Master Don Juan
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Originally posted by NRM
Quit being so stupid.

If she liked you MORE than she liked her boyfriend, she wouldn't be with him RIGHT NOW. If she liked you so much, why would she ever choose him over you?
He never said he made a move. I think it's more that she settled for this other guy, who she also likes.

If you aren't afraid of starting a possible conflict with this guy, then make a move.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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NRM

Master Don Juan
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Well, because of all the false assumptions,

"Asked her friend for other girl's number, she said this, she said that."

The only move that I think you COULD MAKE is A MOVE. Truth is, you cannot assume she likes you.

The way you are acting about the situation just seems silly. You don't want to move on because you're afraid no other girl that will seem to like you. The only advice I really have is to MAKE THE MOVE, see what she does, judge from there. If she really likes you that much and she knows you have interest in her, she WILL LEAVE HIM.

But if she just dates for fun, watch out if she's just looking for the BBD.
 
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