What to do next

[flamegrilled]

I'm play drums and about 6 months ago I joined a band who have a really hot singer. She started taking an interest in me, started emailing etc. She has a boyfriend so I played it cool. The messages got more and more sexual. After a while we started going out once a week or so but that all stopped when her boyfriend got suspicious, but she would still email all the time. Anyway things were not moving forward - I got fed up with the lack of progress so I started not emailing her as often, maybe just a few times a week to try and raise her interest level further. It didn't seem to affect her much but she would moan from time to time that I didn't pay her as much attention.

Recently though (from about 1 month ago) she seems to have lost all interest, seems to just want to be friends. I have tried different things to raise her interest level back but nothing seems to work. I really like her and don't wanna be stuck in no man's land. We have band practice once a week which is difficult and means I have to see with her. She's still a bit flirty. Her emails are now non-sexual. Do I move on or what?? How should I act around her and should I reply to her email? Any help would be appreciated - thanks.

 

[joverby]

Dude, how old are you? You guys are e-mailing sexual back and forth? Most people would be using text messaging, just found that pretty odd. What do you mean exactly by go out once a week too?

 

[flamegrilled]

29. We were emailing sexual stuff, now it's just "How are you" etc then band chat - borin!!!

We used to go out up the pub n stuff. Never slept with her but we have done other stuff.

 

[joverby]

I just don't get who exchanges e-mails for contacts, then sits there e-mailing sexual **** back and forth together. As opposed to text messaging of course. If this was like 1999 that would be more believable.

But, in the event you're not trolling. Why are you wasting your time? You obviously ****ed it up if you went out w/ her and nothing happened and she puts you in the friendzone. Get over her, 4reel.

 

[dice]

In situations like this, I always consult the Bible. It's stated very clearly, if a girls interest level is low, or you even suspect that it is dropping in any sort of fashion, you NEXT her.

 

[flamegrilled]

Yeh guess so...I wish I could get her out my life completely so I can move on but I'm in the same bloody band. Maybe it's best I leave and find another band.

 

[joverby]

IDK how good of a band it is / where you live but, where I live it's REALLY hard to find a good/decent band or individual people for that matter but I only live in a city of a pop of like 60+K w/ some smaller surronding cities.

I wouldn't bail on the band.(Unless it is really easy to get a new one I guess) I know it's hard to not want that which is unattainable(especially when shes teasing you apparently) but you shouldn't let yourself get so hung up on someone who's taken already. Get her off her pedestal and start talking to other chicks who aren't getting ****ed already.

 

[flamegrilled]

I'll see how it goes and whether I can get over her whilst still seeing her. Thanks for the advice it's helped. Sometimes hard to think rationally when you have you head played with.

 

[DCC]

I agree. Start dating other women. You'll find that you care significantly less about your lead singer crush after even a couple of dates with decent women.