what to do?!? my f**ckin parents... HELP

[NSUballer]

??????

Whos car are u gonna be using? If its ur parents car you can probly expect they will be just as strict with the car. Besides your young and what your goin through is part of life. What you should do is do your own laundry when your mom aint payin attention. You got a job so dont ask for money.(if they give it to u thats ok) Do stuff for yourself and that will force them to accept it. As far as food just eat before they do or somthing. You have to adapt and overcome.

 

[h2o]

Originally posted by upcomingDJ
update: hey wussup everyone... well things have been a bit better now and i have learned to adjust with my parents strict ass rules... anyways i've been saving money for material things i could buy myself instead of them buying me stuff (other than food)... ever since i was a little kid i was very spoiled and dependent, and since im growing up and wanting freedom, independence, and all that, it is hard for them, especially my mom that i am becoming an individual but more importantly a man

my advice for those in my position or younger than i am: DO appreciate your parents for what they've done for you BUT do not let them be the ones to control YOUR DESTINY... take little steps to gain independence (ex: job, start driving, pay for ur own stuff, help around the house, clean your own clothes, dishes, room, etc.) and hopefully they will see you as grown up young man

that's great, keep it up. :woo:

even though i'm a couple of years older, my parents still treat me similarly...but like you said, if you show them that you're trying to learn independence, etc, become a man, they'll respect that, and slowly let go / adjust.

ie, my parents offer to buy me an apartment/condo, but i'd rather work, save money and buy property myself. while i'm at home...and maybe you can do this too (though i'm not sure if you mentioned)...i might start paying rent (not that much...but like $100-200/mo). that way i'll get used to the idea of becoming more independent.

good luck.

 

[libre]

Well young man

You have the right attitude. Did you tell your mother that she is smothering you? Quite a few mothers are like that you know. My ex is like that with our children and I have had to constantly remember her to give some space to them and especially our to boy if she didn't want to make a wimp out of him. She doesn't like wimps by the way, so my suggestions did get results.

I even told my boy that if he let is mother continually control him, he would be looking for a substitude mother as a future girlfriend. I told him that to give him some moral support in his efforts to stand up to her when she exagerates.

I suggest that you calmly talk to your parents to stress your demands (ex. to let you do you laundry, cooking, leisure time ...). It is preferable when you want to «negociate» that you do it when you are in a calm mood. You will gain quite some positive results if you do because your parents will be positively impressed by your maturity and the way that you handle things. This is the attitude that will get you the best results with them and while maintaining a good relationship with them.

Stress to your mother that it is by letting you do your chores that you will learn how to do things and that you will gain some self confidence. You do not want to eventually look for a «substitute mother» when she will not be there to take care of you. Also tell her that she needs to have confidence in you to let you out if you are to build your self confidence.

Good luck young man.

 

[upcomingDJ]

update: hey wussup everyone.. yea so i got my license today... big milestone (everybody else takes it for granted) but i however don't because this is my escape, my independence, the real world, everything!...

to celebrate, i took my parents out to eat and paid for it MYSELF without telling them...


i would like to tell you guys what i heard from my mom as i was coming back from the bathroom of the restuarant: "oh, now i'm going to be home alone, all by myself a lot"

^^^^^ what does that tell you?.. it wasn't my lack of maturity but more of my mom's insecurity of having to "let me go"

 

[Ebach]

spyder, your parents must be halla wussy/conservative if that goes in your household

 

[Luveno]

Hey man,

your mom seems very attached to you. Take it as a very flattering gesture; she's proud of you and doesn't want you to get into any situations that may hurt you.

I know this because I lived with my grandma and she was the exact same: wouldn't let me cook, would get pissy when I was around girls, would get pissy if I had to get in a fight etc. At first I thought she was a control freak but then I thought about all the nice things she did for me.

Think about the nice things your parents do for you and you will quickly realize that they do love you and they aren't trying to control you, but merely protect you. You're their pride and joy.
They're scared that you may stray from the good path - the media has a habit of scaring the middle class parents. Don't blame your folks.

What you can do is become more independent in life - find a goal. Pursue that goal, and pursue success. If you are successful and ambitious, your parents will realize that you are aware of the concequences of undesired actions on your future. They'll trust you with your destiny more.

Just respect them and love them. They're worried about you, but in a good way.

Whatever you do, do not let girls get in the way of you and your folks. Somehow I think that a DJ " whatever, they're just girls" attitude will be the one that puts your mother's worries of losing you to rest.

 

[upcomingDJ]

update: well.. im starting to drive now and things are changing... i just want to ask you guys where the "hot spots" would be? (where all the hb's would be hanging out). I will bring my wingman(s) along every once in a while but most times i will be by myself, so i want to know if you guys know any places to hit up so i could pick up some hb's?