What to do in this situation?

[Modro]

Hi Guys,

About 2 months back met a girl on a night out, and got her number. She seemed interested in me so after the weekend I arranged a date. We have been seeing each other since then. So far she seems most like what i would want in a women; she is up for fun, likes all my dates, good in bed has a good job.

So we have met up about 15 times, I have stayed over and her round mine and we have met each others families. All seems to be going well....

But theres a couple of things that have been freaking me out a bit. Normally after a month or so a girl will bring up 'the conversation' about where we stand wanting to be my girlfriend, she hasn't. Combining this with a lack communication, she basically 95% of the time never initiates conversation and takes a while to reply to a text.

This has basically got me questioning in my head whats going on, she turns up to dates and never cancels. She makes an effort and pays her way and even buys me dinner (investing in me) but then I start thinking about the above and think how interested is she. I guess i just want to get some advice from people who are clued up.

Should i keep things going, doing fun dates and not bringing up anything up.

Or go direct in asking what she wants.

Or play it fun saying something like "So you get to be my girlfriend now that blah blah blah.. etc" stating my intentions but not making it a massive deal.

?

 

[Modro]

*bump*

Any opinions on this, I have not been in a situation like this before, normally their interest level goes through the roof.

But hers seems to rise slowly and I think she is very traditional, maybe waiting for me to ask to be official, thinks it is the mans job to lead and arrange dates ETC.

At the moment I am waiting a few days before contacting her, and just keeping busy at the gym and with friends, but i feel this uncertainty makes me not sure how to treat her.

 

[Slickster]

Just keep dating and taking her out for a good time.

Forget about the labels and enjoy yourselves.

 

[dark god]

Hi Guys,

About 2 months back met a girl on a night out, and got her number. She seemed interested in me so after the weekend I arranged a date. We have been seeing each other since then. So far she seems most like what i would want in a women; she is up for fun, likes all my dates, good in bed has a good job.

So we have met up about 15 times, I have stayed over and her round mine and we have met each others families. All seems to be going well....

But theres a couple of things that have been freaking me out a bit. Normally after a month or so a girl will bring up 'the conversation' about where we stand wanting to be my girlfriend, she hasn't. Combining this with a lack communication, she basically 95% of the time never initiates conversation and takes a while to reply to a text.

This has basically got me questioning in my head whats going on, she turns up to dates and never cancels. She makes an effort and pays her way and even buys me dinner (investing in me) but then I start thinking about the above and think how interested is she. I guess i just want to get some advice from people who are clued up.

Should i keep things going, doing fun dates and not bringing up anything up.

Or go direct in asking what she wants.

Or play it fun saying something like "So you get to be my girlfriend now that blah blah blah.. etc" stating my intentions but not making it a massive deal.

?

No offence but you sound like the "woman" in this scenerio. At one time women were the ones Initating convos and wondering were they stand with the mysterious guy. hell she sounds like shes gaming you lol. You need to take a step back a let it things be. Sh*t you should taking advantage of the situation and also be talking with other chicks. As far as I see it if theres no offical aggreement of Being Exclusive your azz should be dating multiple chicks. when you're using terms like "freaking me out" then shes got you mentally. Honestly to me it sounds like she talking to other men. I mean she sounds Interersted but I wouldnt be surprised if shes out playing the field which is a good thing because you should also be doing that.

 

[Modro]

I hear what your saying....

I know we are not exclusive, this is just something I personally have not experienced from someone I'm having sex with and having a good time. Is it a game, is it her personality I haven't worked it out quite yet...

I will keep dating her but i think I will look at potential back ups as well.

 

[Lexington]

Don't bring up the conversation. Leave that to her. Bringing it up will seem needy on your part.

She's not flaking on you and she is demonstrating a high level of interest. Some girls are just content to sit back and let the guy control things. She might not be initiating anything with you, but maybe that's just her nature. If she's pleasing you, why should it matter?

Just keep doing what you're doing. If she's interested, she'll bring up the conversation soon enough. It's only been 2 months. It's WAY too early to be getting freaked about this stuff.

 

[thevilittletroll]

as long as your having sex with her on a regualr basis, whats the problem? i wouldnt bring it up until you can start to feel some tension on the subject. since this has never been brought up, i'd continue having fun with her and not worry about it. if you bring up this conversation before she's truly ready, you might scare her off, thinking that your are too possessive and needy. she also might be the kind of girl that's independent, and doesnt want to be tied down. this is the time when relationships are the most fun, so enjoy yourself before all the drama kicks in. just stay on auto pilot for at least another month or so, or until she brings it up, you should be fine.

 

[Modro]

Guys,

I asked her to do something in the week, she declined and I knew something was up, she called it off. Saying she didnt want to lead me on or be in a relationship at all. I knew it just wasn't right... I just accepted it said I hadnt asked for a relationship and got off the phone once I had confirmed.

By freaking out, I meant I had found something in my eyes that didn't add up (red flag alert).

I am disappointed she was a high quality women, I literally went from a year relationship straight to dating her I dont think I was ready mentally and just kept trying to force it.

Oh well life goes on definately learned something from this had fun with her so no reason to hate.

Cheers though guys