"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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What to do (I'm in a tough situation..not just with girl..in life too)

kalash74

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Hey guys, I'm not normally one to whine, but I need some help. I am going through some tough times right now with my family (parents divorce) and my (former best) friends all hate me now. Overall I am feeling like crap, but try to remain optimistic about it and don't let it show in my personality.
I have liked this girl for quite some time now (yes...kind of one-itis..) and I want to get my situation with her straightened out before the start of the new year, and hopefully make myself feel better. She has made some obvious signs to me in the past month but I am AFC so I didn't act on them. Now she is always away on IM so I can't talk to her on there, and I never see her at school (being on break now doesn't matter anyways). A few days ago she IM'd me giving me her cell number, which I didn't ask for. I am afraid I might be in the friend zone now. I feel like I should call her but what would I say?
Thanks guys if you help me out here, I just needed to vent. Hopefully you guys can clear things up for me.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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PleasureKing

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friend zone??? it sounds like this girl has put you in the "baby please come over and have some fun with me" zone. haha. im serious, i think you unintentionally gave her the impression that you are busy, (good attitude if you consider yourself "the great catch").

what you should say? i think its quite simple...ask her out. i know im using the wrong terminology, but its the thought process that counts. call her before new years, and ask her if she wants to have some fun on tuesday for example. you can say, "i was planning on going out with friends for some food this tuesday, but i changed my mind and want to ask you if you would like to "tag" along with me. its going to be just you and me."

i know your nervous at the thought of this, and you might get more nervous right before you call her, but just try to relax, take 3 deep breathes, and dont stutter. she might ask you some questions though, like "oh why me?", obviously she knows why, but make answers on the spot without hesitating. and if you "think" you said something wrong, dont kill yourself over it, with practice, you will get better.

And im sorry about your current family + social situation right now, but always have a smile on, things WILL get better in the long run.
"Smile at life, it will smile back". - read this (http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=115446)

I also recommend opening up your selection of women a little bit. try meeting new chicks at the mall. maybe you will see a chick your age who your interested in. if things work out, you now have options and have to start choosing women now. the first time you start doing this, you will feel good and bad at the same time, but its a fun experience. ;]
 

kalash74

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Thanks for the advice/support. I appreciate it. I'm trying to make the best of my situation.
 

The Shocker

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Good advice PleasureKing. I don't have much to add, hope your situation gets better kalash. Just relax and have fun when you go out with her.
 

kalash74

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I called her and made plans to hang out for today, but she IM's me telling me that she can't make it (which she has done once before)...
So basically I've made the decision that since its a new year and all I'm giving up on this girl and trying to find some others. Thanks for the advice/support again! :up:
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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