What to do if she don't want to talk to you?

[Klugscheisser]

Hi there

When i approach a women, it happens quiet often to me, that they avoid the conversation. (Give short answers, say just "yes" or "no"...) I guess you all know what i am talking about...

If that happens, what am i supposed to do? I use to walk away because i can't handle the situation. (For me, that looks like she don't want to talk to me/don't want to be approached.)

But it's always a pitty to let a beautiful women go. advice?

 

[Sir Shinra]

I have this same problem every day. Sometimes I try to salvage the situation, but it seems very obvious she's not gonna cooperate so I just kinda shrink away sometimes, and try to pretend I didn't approach her. Not the best course of action, I know.

 

[LadiesMan2117]

probably a lot harder for you in seoul, where the people are a lot less inclined to talk to strangers... as a korean myself living in australia, i can tell the difference between the more 'open' society here as opposed to that of south korea.

 

[Sir Shinra]

But then again, if you have an open society like Australia, wouldn't it be hard to tell the difference between those who are just being nice and those who are generally interested?

 

[Klugscheisser]

But then again, if you have an open society like Australia, wouldn't it be hard to tell the difference between those who are just being nice and those who are generally interested?

It's not a big deal seeing the difference between being nice and being interested. A normal conversation is always the same ("How are you?" "I'm fine, thanks. How about you?" / "How was your weekend?" etc.), the boring stuff you would talk about with a friend you haven't met for a long time. Or they avoid the conversation, as i mentioned before.

If she likes you, she starts smiling or even touching you, starts talking about "more private things".

But again, is it even possible to get a girl talking to you if you have "already failed"? It's always frustrating to let a "perfect" women go...


If you give up, you lost! So keep fighting!
- Henry Maske, German Boxer

 

[SharinganUser]

What are the kinds of things you are talking about?

 

[Colin O'Brien]

The reason they're responding with "yes" and "no" is because you're asking them yes/no questions! Ask some more open ended things that they can elaborate on. Then find material in what they're saying and ask them more questions based on that, with a girl:you talking ratio of like 70:30. Its that simple!

It sounds contrived but once you practice conversational technique a little bit you'll realize how natural it'll come.

 

[The Gamer]

I would say add some shock and awe into your approach if thats happening. Approach them as if something CRAZY!!!! just happened and you NEED to talk to them and then just turn it all into a joke and their bound to laugh and go from their. Don't seem like the normal boring dude whos approaching to hit on her with nothing but interview questions; more of the same begets more of the same.

I mean just do SOMETHING a little off the wall and strange but once you have her full attention for 5-10 seconds let a big smile across your face to show it was just a joke and for fun and go from their (that doesn't mean you start the interview process here). Thats my KBJ opinion as I don't know what your really dealin with in your location. GL

 

[brian123]

They might not be attracted to you, might have bfs etc....

Expect to get rejected like that most of the time. Just be confident + funny and you will be fine. The best of us gets rejected very often.

 

[Vypros]

I would say that you need to work on your openers and your transition phase. If you haven't read it, get a copy of Magic Bullets and give it a read. It's got some pretty good advice for each phase of the interaction with her. I highly recommend it.

I would also pay attention to your body language. Put time constraints on your interaction (i.e. "Hey, I can only talk for a minute cause I have to get back to my friends...") and make sure you aren't facing her (as if you are getting ready to walk away at any moment.

And stop phrasing your interactions with "yes/no" responses. You want to appeal to her desire to respond by loading her responses. Meaning you need to create conversation that is going to spark her interest to reply to you with more than a "yes/no."