"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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What to do if my College Friends don't do anything?

CosMoenTropic

Don Juan
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I'm stuck in a rut.

Been unhealthy type 5 personality for a long time (ttp://www.enneagraminstitute.com/TypeFive.asp) Only recently seen the light. Now all the friends, including my roommates, are nice people by all means but they do not do anything. I feel like Im falling back to my old self again. Nowadays at my best I am level 2-3, but usually in the level 4 range.

It feels so much harder now to meet new people when I know those same people could have been my close friends if I opened up to them before as freshmans or sophomores. They already have a different perception of me--of who I was back then, rather than now. Even worse isthe fact that I never had a GF. Back in highschool I had opportunities which I passed out because I either intimidated them or I was a pu**y and ignored them because I felt like I had nothing to offer. I feel like I missed out on a lot of life experiences and feel empty. It's harder for me to just let go and relax now because it doesn't come naturally to me anymore.

My mindset is much better now after being abroad with a group of similar college students, but I always feel something is lacking. Things don't feel right and the people around me are not making me feel any better. I don't blame them, maybe they thought I was a different person based on the way I acted back then. Damn depressing thoughts for a saturday :down: night huh..

How do I get started again? Sometimes I wonder how I could have gotten myself in this position in the first place. Ive made small progress with strangers on the street, in stores, etc. Im always paranoid of girls that pay attention to me, "Is she interested?" or "Is she scared of me and analyzing my weak spots to see whether I am worth her time"? The thing is--I am not a good looking, player type of guy. This is where my source of insecurity comes from. I like people to appreciate my personality more but its gotten so much harder for actions to become natural now. I wish I could have gone back 2 years as a freshman and started anew. Sometimes I feel much older than I really am.. Anybody found themselves in similar situations?
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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pg_lost

Don Juan
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You are in college, so I think there are many chances for you to be a new person. Join some clubs and you will be able to meet new people and start fresh. If you dont like how you look, try to change or update your style. Get some new clothes and watch movies with cool people in them. Imitate till it becomes apart of you. Develop your own style when you feel up to it.
 

and1play5

Don Juan
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^ I agree...college is great time to "find" yourself...you should pick up some new hobbies, play sports...when you find out the type of the person you are...the girls will find you after
 

CosMoenTropic

Don Juan
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I know.. I'm a junior this year and live slightly off campus which makes it a bit harder. Semester just started and nothing much really is going on, and I just hung out in my new apartment for a few days.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Warrior74

Master Don Juan
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Me and my best friend went off to the same college. We both were into comic books, star trek, reading popular science magazine....nerds basically. In college i started hanging out with different groups of people...joined clubs, fraternities (business, music) and went to on campus events (dances, games, socials). He stayed in the computer lab and sat at home on friday night watching star trek episodes. We are still friends to this day, but I was bored living the life we were living. He was happy living it. You have to go find what makes you happy, doesn't mean you have to totally ditch your friends, they are just one part of your life, not your whole life. So go out there an see what's going on! Pick up a flyer and go to something new you never been to. Explore your world man!
 
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