"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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What to do if a girl isn't adding much to the conversation?

DJDeMarco

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What to do if a girl isn't adding much to the conversation?
Also, if I'm nervous, do I need to state I'm nervous over talking to her, or stating how I'm feeling?

Decided to approach an 18 year old woman in my loose-knit social circle(I'm 26) and she didn't say much when I asked questions or said things. I was nervous talking to her, but considering how bad I've handled my emotions in the past, I'm happy to see I'm controlling myself better as I get older. I had to approach her, otherwise I'd never get to talk to her. I had a few questions in mind to ask, but her lack of responses just put me in a spot where I had to dig deep to find something to say. And since you're probably curious about what I said,here it is.
What're you up to? You still in band? Got your Christmas shopping done? Seen any good movies lately? You're 18, right?
I'm not sure she was attracted to me in the first place,but I'm sure I could've handled myself better with her lack of responses, instead of saying random things or asking questions. Basically, I showed the same amount of interest the whole conversation,which I shouldn't have done.

But I'll learn from this for the next cute woman in general I approach in the future.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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MillionBillionaire

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You are the man... it is your job to carry the conversation when you first meet... say something about her and don't be in such interview mode the whole time.. make a comment.. make a joke.. don't look for a response from her.. because you are soo alpha you don't care if she approves or not of the things you say... your far from that frame but that is where you should be...

Why would you be nervous to talk to an 18 year old.. I get all giddy! Its girls my age I have a harder time with... 18 year olds! Have fun! Nothing is serious!
 

Thorninmyside

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Responses in BOLD.

DJDeMarco said:
What to do if a girl isn't adding much to the conversation?

Retreating reeks of failure, so I'll usually try to bring someone nearby into the conversation, focus my attention and body language on that person, and hope that the change of focus is noticed by little miss cardboard box personality. If she opens up and joins in, good, and if the other person talks more, at least you don't have to retreat with tail between legs


And since you're probably curious about what I said,here it is.
What're you up to? You still in band? Got your Christmas shopping done? Seen any good movies lately? You're 18, right?

IMO, those questions all serve your interest, but a better thought out question specific to her might get her invested in giving you the answer. Something that doesn't sound like canned questions ready to go

But I'll learn from this for the next cute woman in general I approach in the future.

Keep trying, keep reporting!
 

DJDeMarco

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MillionBillionaire said:
You are the man... it is your job to carry the conversation when you first meet... say something about her and don't be in such interview mode the whole time.. make a comment.. make a joke.. don't look for a response from her.. because you are soo alpha you don't care if she approves or not of the things you say... your far from that frame but that is where you should be...

Why would you be nervous to talk to an 18 year old.. I get all giddy! Its girls my age I have a harder time with... 18 year olds! Have fun! Nothing is serious!
Because approaching women in general makes me nervous. I read that comment this morning about me being the alpha man that doesn't care and does what he wants. I'm trying to do that, but my natural self isn't following. It'll take some experience and repetition and I'll get it. Same thing with things being fun. Been so long since I've been looking for fun social times since I've been a serious goal-oriented person. I'll get that one down too. Thanks for the advice.
 
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