What to do here?

[TheBaconator]

Ok so I went out with this girl once a couple weeks ago and called her about a week and a half ago to go to a movie. She said she was busy with studying for finals all week, understandable as I had a lot of studying to do myself.

So here's where I muck up I think, I tell her "ok well I wanna go see this movie bad, so call me when you get some free time, but don't take forever otherwise i'll go with someone else". Now I figure I prolly shouldn't have put the control in her hands like that, and I haven't heard from her since.

I'm gonna give it another shot though, call her up sometime this week and tell her to come hang out, any suggestions of how to play off her not calling back without seeming like i'm desperate, which in reality I kinda am since i'm in a bad slump with women. I don't wanna bother with the movies again, I just wanna get her over my place for some possible escalation. I know she has interest, not that high at all, but I figure it's worth one more shot since I don't really have many prospects right now.

 

[ARrocket]

I'd wait another week, then give her a call. Either take her out somewhere where kino is built in (like ice skating), or invite her to your place. She may be more comfortable going out at first though.

 

[WesCottII]

"ok well I wanna go see this movie bad, so call me when you get some free time, but don't take forever otherwise i'll go with someone else". Now I figure I prolly shouldn't have put the control in her hands like that, and I haven't heard from her since.

Ok, sorry, but that line sucked. You might as well have winked after, and said in a whisper "Hey, I lied, I've got no-one else to take".

A guy who's got lots of prospects doesn't need to brag about the ability to "go with someone else" - it's a given. And from experience, women don't take being "told" to do things very well, - it shows that although you're putting your foot down, you've got no control whatsoever, like a last desparate swing on your way down.

Ring her up, say "hey, that movie was really good, you missed out" Then ask her if she wants a break from studying.

 

[Entropy4]

I wouldn't even mention the movie next time you call her. Just act like nothing ever happened.

Oh, and that was a terrible line, it screamed "PLEASE GO WITH ME!" all over it.

 

[n00bPimp]

I think ice cream dates work better than going to the movies

 

[TheBaconator]

I know, as soon as I got off the phone I was kicking myself for saying that. Live and ya learn I guess. I'll just tell her to come do something else with me.

 

[WesCottII]

I know, as soon as I got off the phone I was kicking myself for saying that. Live and ya learn I guess. I'll just tell her to come do something else with me.

I'll repeat again, seeing as I seem to have developed this disease where I talk and talk and no-one listens. . .

You don't TELL a woman to do anything. Stamping your foot down just demonstrates how much control you DON'T possess. You tell her you're going somewhere, you suggest she should come along because it'd be cool. If she doesn't, you go anyway, have a blast, if she comes, you go, have a blast. Win win.

You can set expectations of your interactions without resorting to "YOU WILL". You can show you're the one in control by not standing for her crap, the ability to walk away, and the ability to disagree. Empty threats like "you will come out" mean squat unless you follow them through with actions (taking away your availiability)

Telling implies possession and/or possessivness and/or desperation that you have no other prospects, and your fun depends on her coming. It doesn't.

 

[TheBaconator]

I'll repeat again, seeing as I seem to have developed this disease where I talk and talk and no-one listens. . .

You don't TELL a woman to do anything. Stamping your foot down just demonstrates how much control you DON'T possess. You tell her you're going somewhere, you suggest she should come along because it'd be cool. If she doesn't, you go anyway, have a blast, if she comes, you go, have a blast. Win win.

Telling implies possession and/or possessivness and/or desperation that you have no other prospects, and your fun depends on her coming. It doesn't.

Just poor wording, i'm not the type to demand a girl to come do something, just figured if I said "ask" on here i'd get called out as being AFC.

I plan to "suggest" she come over to my neighboorhood and we go to this amusment park by my house for a while. Figure it will be a fun date and it's convinient to my house so suggesting drinks and hanging out after would be easy.