what to do. cancer - girl stopped showing signs ( long)

[mcarioca]

what to do. cancer - girl stopped showing signs

I´m pretty young 23, but struggled with health have prevented me to get close to women.
I have a rare noncontagious neurological desease that creats lumps inthe nerves. My first surgery was 10 years (i lived in Spain then) ago when i was only 13. I had to remove a lump from my right arm, the doctor accidentally brock my cubital nerve wich made my fingers in my hand curve down. i had to to reconstructive surgery. In 2001 another surgery now in that hand to do transfer of tendons.
This year was the worst, I was living in NY but i knew I was going back to my country Brazil. This year I had to remove a big lump under my left armpit, and i found out it was cancer (sarcoma) just 1 week prior my birthday. After the radiation treatment I went to Brazil and 2 months later I met a great girl at the gym (in the condo I live) studying to be a doctor. she had a boyfriend then so in consideration i kept it as friends. When she broke up she started showing some signs that she like me. She knew i faced cancer at the beginning of the year. When it started to get better, I get the results from the routine checkups. Thats when I get another bomb. I had to go again through surgery at the same place, because it probably was comming back. I went to blow off some steam at the gym and after and she asked me what happended.
Now is the problem she is in canada where she will stay until march. I talked with her on MSN and she still showed some sigs, but now she dissapeared. I know she goes online because we both have orkut.
I still do not have the results for the pathology ( I´m afraid its cancer again) if its is cancer I have to go through chemo.

How do I deal with this with her? If she asks me why this is all happening?
Please help.

Sorry for the long post.

 

[Sir Space]

I dont know where to start.

dude, this ***** should be the LEAST of your worrys.

How did she know you have had it anyway? is this information you tell every girl you meet or something?

I cant put myself in your shoes homie, but considering she is on the other side of the world you probably arent going to be banging her anytime soon.

Regardless, if she asks just say some things came up, unless you are really close to her and you feel she has the right to know about your illness.


Either way i hope you dont have cancer man, i really do.

 

[mcarioca]

Originally posted by Sir Space
I
How did she know you have had it anyway? is this information you tell every girl you meet or something?

.

She saw the scar I have while working out. I do not tell everybody, just my closest friends know.

I want a LTR with her not just sex.

 

[mcarioca]

Do you think that being treated for cancer can lower her IL?
She is a typical brazilian family girl.....

and no is not one itis.

 

[mcarioca]

no 1 giving me other tips?
She clearly showed the signs when she was here.
But she is away now, I talk to other girls to, but I see this 1 as good for LTR.

Any women on the forum could give tips?
How do I approach the subject if this relationship with her or any other girl?

thanks

 

[Homeslice]

Be honest with her.

That's the only thing you CAN do. Like the other guys have said, girls should be the least of your worries, but if you do beat this thing, do you want it to come back and bite you again when she finds out you were lying to her all along about it?

If she ditches you as a potential LTR, but more importantly as a friend because of this, when true friends should be helping you through it, she isn't worth your time in the first place.

 

[California Love]

I hope you get better.

 

[mcarioca]

Well guys,

I was at the doctor last week and he confirmed it. I have to go thru chemo. I´ll beat it. It will make me stronger.

As for the girl she showed up on MSN.
I had to tell her since she asked me about the surgury and how it went. I had to be sincere, if I lied and she found about it I would lose her friendship and any chance. She told me that she was confident that everything was going to be all right and she wished me luck. ( I know this is no sign).

Now I will focus on beating this thing. It will be a battle that will last months. I joked with her that I was going to be bald when she came back and she said it was going to be allright ( I have to find a funny part right)

I know that after this battle, everything in my life will be great.
as we say here in Brasil " Deus escreve certo por linhas tortas" wich means more or less that " God knows what he does with weird twists"

 

[tonysat]

man u got courage for posting about your illness..

dont worry about chicks dude. they're just past time, if it werent for the tits and nice hair we wudnt even be interested...

get ur health back on track ~ good luck !

sorry to hear about your illness...

 

[I-am-someone]

Live your life to the fullest. You still have the ability to do that now, knowing what you know now is all the more reason to do things with your life.

Something I had forgotten during these holidays... we don't have forever, every day we sit around doing nothing is another day lost.

As for the girl... I have said this before and I will say it again... you can best answer this question yourself.
You have all the knowledge, all the wisdom about yourself. We can only give advice, you hold the final truth.


mcarioca, good luck

 

[NewMan]

Tough - good luck with everything.

I believe when dealing with this girl - forget (if you can) that you are ill. Don;'t let that change the way you interact with her.

Don't let the conversation revolve around you, your illness and what is happening to you. Still, follow all of the rules of the Bible - less about you more about her.

Don't let the "relationship" evolve into her just calling you to "see how you are"..... you want to maintain your Maleness - confidence, ****ness etc.

She needs to see you as you -= not as a guy who's fighting cancer.