"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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blitzin'

Don Juan
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O.k some of you probably read my little problem with this chick I was starting things up with. As I'd said I didn't have the option to move on her with her family sitting around, next day cold shoulder. Thing is she'll still talk with me and make good eye contact, but whenever we talk even if she starts the conversation she seems really jittery and her tone sounds uninterested. Even though she asks questions like what I did last night, specific questions about what all I did over the weekend, stuff like that. I've already next her, but it's hard to not notice her because she's in class with me 3 times a week. I still like to possibly have a relationship of some kind with this chick, but am backing off for now, I've got several other potentials I'm working on. My question is how much should I back off? I mean, should I cut contact completely or just an occasional smile or hello. I don't want to seem clingy, but at the same time don't want her to be afraid to approach me because she thinks I don't like her. I'm not quite sure how to approach this. But like I said I have class with her and will be in the same program for the next 3 years, so it's not really an option to completely stop contact. If I don't nip her behavior in the butt it could be an annoying 3 yrs. :mad:
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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squirrels

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Dunno if she sounds like relationship material.

I could be wrong. Either way, stop d!cking around and DO something. :p
 

blitzin'

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I'm just gonna' let her slide. I figure, she's got my number, and see's me in class, she can get a hold of me if she want's. I don't have oneitus, it's just annoying seeing her act so strange around me in class. Then again, maybe that's how she normally is and just acted different before when she was interested. That's my twilight zone version of interpreting it. :D
 

JJMcLure

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How can you next this girl when you haven't even tried anything with her yet (i.e. on a physical level or anything other than just friends).

You haven't made a move and got denied. So there is nothing to NEXT. It is the man's job to initiate - don't expect her to come calling you and then jump on top of you next time youre together.

You are your own worst enemy here, you were slow to make a move and so she is cooling off, so now you're going to NEXT her?

What you need to do is the opposite. Keep faith in the fact she still likes you (maybe less than before but that's ok).

Unless you make a move she will think either or both of:
- you don't like her (she will probably become somewhat offended)
- you don't have the confidence to make a move [and this appears to be the true reason] (she will think you're an AFC and not worthy)

Get together with her and kiss her asap. Believe me the world won't end if after all this she doesn't want to. Just do it.
 

blitzin'

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I've invited this chick out earlier this week, she said she had to meet a friend who's moving away one time, then the other that she had to work, but didn't bother to give me a day that would work. I tried calling twice this week and left messages, she hasn't returned. I'm willing to try more, it's just that I don't want her to get scared off thinking I'm being needy. Tell ya what, I'll try asking her out for sometime within the next couple days, and if she says she's busy every single day or won't give me a day, then I think my question will be answered. I can't kiss her in class, and I haven't been able to get her alone.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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blitzin'

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Man, I'm on an emotional high. I went out to karaoke tonight, and the person DJing the thing was this chick I graduated with way back in highschool, I probably haven't seen her in 6 years at least. Anyway, I get there she looks familiar so I go up and tell her, she looks at me and smiles and she actually remembered my name on her own right away, no guessing. We were'nt even close back then. So we're talking a bit, I sang a song with her, then later on I told her she had a decent voice( which was an understatement, she has a great voice!) anyway, I told her I do some recording,( I play guitar, bass, and a bunch of other instruments) gave her my number and told her to call if she ever feels like recording. She had this big smile on her face told me hell yeah! and shuffled through her papers to find a pen and wrote her number down telling me to give her a call. It was great, I didnt' even have to ask for her number, she wanted me to have it, and told me to give her a call. So I take it go back to my table, flirt with a couple other chicks in her sight then later on she left her DJ station and we slow danced then spun eachother round till we nearly fell over one another. Went back to my table then as I was paying my tab to leave she was there got in a little kino, and we said goodnight. As I walked away she reminded me to call her sometime. I said I might. That was it. Thing is, she is easily a 9, she is f%%ing hot, and not an airhead. And I usually don't think of myself as being the best looking guy around, but this stuff works. So I'm gonna' wait a little bit to call, in the mean time I have a few other chicks to work on and I'm still gonna' give that one I was talking about earlier another try. Thanks to all you other guys tips I'm feeling more confident then I've ever felt.:D
 
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