what to do about social anxiety?

[incognito42]

I think I am depressed, I have social anxiety, low self esteem, and I think I have narcassistic qualities. Im very uneasy and awkward in conversation. My pacing and tempo is always off, the tone of my voice varies, and I find it difficult to show expression. My low self esteem causes awkwardness no matter who Im talking to. It can be a 70 year old man, 5 year old kid, or a smoking hot 20 year old girl and it is all the same. My low self esteem gets the better of me every time and the interactions, no matter what kind or what setting, end up awkward




I considered myself ugly (atleast by "general" standards) for most my life. So it made it easy for me to just let my other friends be the center of attention and hide from everyone my uneasiness in social gatherings. Im 21 years old now. I still think Im ugly, and still show low self esteem in social gatherings. The problem now is that I am attratcing all different kinds of women. Ages 15-50 and all sizes, shapes and colors. I am oblivious to picking up signs that chicks like me, but some come on to me so strong now that it is impossible to assume anythign else. As soon as we meet, or even before, I feel like Im being hunted. I can feel them wanting me to club them over the head and bring them back to my cave.




So you might be wondering what the "problem" is. Well my self esteem is so low, and my social anxiety is so bad that me being thrust into the spotlight in these social interactions makes for some UGLY looking incidents. Its so bad, that it makes me hope they dont like me so I dont have to fail once again at acting normal



i can not figure out on my own how to overcome my problems. PLEASE HELP!

 

[incognito42]

bump

 

[wolf116]

You need to speak to a doctor about this, if it is indeed this bad.

 

[DonJoseCantosie]

Hey man, good thing u posted this.

I think I am depressed, I have social anxiety, low self esteem, and I think I have narcassistic qualities. Im very uneasy and awkward in conversation. My pacing and tempo is always off, the tone of my voice varies, and I find it difficult to show expression. My low self esteem causes awkwardness no matter who Im talking to. It can be a 70 year old man, 5 year old kid, or a smoking hot 20 year old girl and it is all the same. My low self esteem gets the better of me every time and the interactions, no matter what kind or what setting, end up awkward

The first thing you gotta do is fine the root of this. Why do you believe ur tone of voice varies and its difficult to show expression? Also, did ur self esteem get hit by a big occurence in the past? Most things that cause us to behave negatively are from past experiences rather than say "biological" or "physical" situations.

I considered myself ugly (atleast by "general" standards) for most my life. So it made it easy for me to just let my other friends be the center of attention and hide from everyone my uneasiness in social gatherings. Im 21 years old now. I still think Im ugly, and still show low self esteem in social gatherings.

A ha. This might be the root of ur self esteem. Your looks. How come you believe your ugly? Show us a picture so we can see. You might not be as ugly as u think. I can understand, i never thought i was a handsome guy till i actually took a good look at myself and finally realized that u really have to look at urself in the mirror and make a true judgement. So u actually might not be a bad looking guy at all. But if its still bugging you, try changing up ur clothes, shaving, grooming, etc. Some guys become whole new people when they change things up.

The problem now is that I am attratcing all different kinds of women. Ages 15-50 and all sizes, shapes and colors. I am oblivious to picking up signs that chicks like me, but some come on to me so strong now that it is impossible to assume anythign else. As soon as we meet, or even before, I feel like Im being hunted. I can feel them wanting me to club them over the head and bring them back to my cave.

If you oblibious to pick up signals...its time to learn my friend. The easiest one i would say is if a woman is making the effort to talk to u longer than politely needed, that means she's into u in some level. But dude, def feel the need to be hunted. Actually, a better way of saying is that these women are coming over strongly so "U" can hunt them.

So you might be wondering what the "problem" is. Well my self esteem is so low, and my social anxiety is so bad that me being thrust into the spotlight in these social interactions makes for some UGLY looking incidents. Its so bad, that it makes me hope they dont like me so I dont have to fail once again at acting normal

i can not figure out on my own how to overcome my problems. PLEASE HELP!

Ur self esteem might possibly be low but u definitely can bring it back up again. U might just need to see a counselor. Counselors are amazing, because they reinforce our own positive beliefs back in us, but in a way that really helps deep down. How do i know? Because i also had social anxiety and literally lost all hope in living life normally(And ever since i've become much stronger as a person). But thats if its too much for u alone to handle. But dude about acting normal. There really isn't such thing as perfectly normal. I would say, "Appropriate". But to become the player u truly are, or once were again...u'll eventually have to "Fight" ur fear again. The one thing ur super afraid of. Counseling might help u return to where ur confident enough to fight the fear.

I could go into more of it. Just ask and i'll help as much as i can dude.

Also realize, ur not a sheep in society! Ur a wolf.

 

[Chrispy]

There are medical treatments for social anxiety. One is medication, another is cognitive. For the latter try doing a search for toast masters. You have to work hard to conquer this fear that you are having. Thre is no easy way but the hard way. It will take time and effort.

 

[connor32]

talk to a pschycologist and realize a lot of people go through this.